Hell Updated

This was written with this-forgot to post at the time:
So…Imagine you're just going about your normal business, quietly, maybe the TV is on in background, you're washing a few dishes, even in the habit at this point of tip toeing so as not to awaken the monster below. But he does wake up. Then the banging starts. You can feel the fury behind what sounds like a bat against the walls and ceiling….a virtual stranger Ive lived above for past 2 years.  It wasn't until after about 6 months he mentioned in passing how creeky the floors are in our building. The cop that lived below me for the past 10 or so years always told me he couldn't hear a thing interestingly enough…If I wake up in middle of night and need to p….I hesitate, consider how badly I have to go to risk TIPTOEING (still creeks loudly). College kids, young adults, housing projects….sure it happens….lots of people live this way. Where you can hear your neighbors fart and flush through the bathroom walls….
But see how it works…cop friend….find a reason to fight, turn it into a threat then fabricate something to follow thru on and not unlike extermination of the problem..….get you kicked out or worse…no matter you live quietly here for almost 12 years…thats what people don't understand about what its like not to have money to either protect yourself or keep you out of that kind of vulnerability

Its 10:31 pm right now and my computer just fell into couch. Sounded like it hit the wood a little….but thats all it takes for him to accuse me of "intentionally" and "violently" banging….as if to harass him…..and when I respond to that text with "You have to be kidding?" He only gets worse…


THIS is the world that creates the hate that not only kills babies slaughters, but just as bad goes on about their business like cattle as if nothing happened…but "they" want to talk about "gun control" what about bat control? What about shoe/boot control? Knife control anyone? They should call it temper control…this guy introduced himself to me as "the most laid back guy u ever wanna meet" lol? I see why he's not been allow to see his kids for 4 yrs I guess….then Ive got the 4 time felon to the back…the Christ the King school teacher-instigator to the other side….It's dangerous to be an aging single woman. At least when you're younger they fein respect in hope of getting in your pants…old age they'll just eat you alive any chance they get.

 Imagine what it would be like if on a friday night at 10-11pmish the extension chord you use to charge cell phone fell from your hand and hit the side of a metal basket...making a resounding ding sound...really not so loud...but the neighbor below hears every damn step you take. Every one of your tipping toes...did I write about this already? People are so in the habit of compromising for mediocrity soon it will be a crime just for looking at a school cop the wrong way...... o my god. Im sitting quietly typing hear, almost soundless keyboard, and my elbow just hit the remote for TV and almost crashed onto floor...the thought literally scares the fk our of me. This guy describes himself as "The most easy going guy in the world.."

Its been consuming me for past 10 days or so, because I texted him sort of to try to buffer, or prepare him for my so called 'putting my foot down and explain to him how the stress is eating at my bones LITERALLY.

But the thing is...the point is everybody lies. Every last one of us. For years I spent not lying ever as if it were some kind of game (for lack of a better word) with god...to see how far I could go in the name of trusting what was happening as much as possible just by observing...practice turning off my judgment, came pretty naturally, quickly......Im falling asleep like the old lady I am...will attempy to write tomorrow....

Somehow this was all supposed to tie into another attempt at explaining the toll taken on my health earlier...

Mark McNair Crawford. Is he son of yonkers murderer Lucious Crawford? He lived below the Bolls with guns-but the Bolls call the poloice on me. Just like Jane Kartsch-wasting time, throwing police off their game with petty bs?

I used to think gangsters like asshole felon downstairs were the problem...but Jane and Robin just as bad-in fact WORSE with their lies than this egomaniacle idiot. This video link shows what I was trying to escape from with yoga training.....Ghetto ass ugly moron peopel who only know how to fight (and kill) because thats what I bring out in them just by breathing? ...will re write this...but link below reminds me of my life for past 12-13 yrs....in hell...literally unable to wash a few dishes without making the slightest sound....and my latest enemy (son of a retired cop....will I be killed off to relieve his psychosis?) THATS the world we live in not because of the rare (alleged) Adam Lanza's or set up James Holmes, but because of the millions of shallow hypocrites like Bikram Choudhury and Jane Kartsch. It ALL adds up to creating the hell that ends up killing innocent people...lies lead to driving people crazy which can lead to murder...Imagine? For even trying to dissect, understand, Jane will call police and tell her I may want to kill her....then that leads to further downward spiral and so on and so on....fuck you also Ossining HS grad Lynn Whitlow for (at least) unfriending me when I told her about Jane.

NRA Pro Legislation to Ban Cannibal Policemen from Every School. While Calling for Special Screening Measures

Seriously? Did this guy piss off the wrong people or is this a true story? Assuming it's trueparents will be calling fpr millions more to be spent on screening to make sure the cops are who they appear to be...does anyone not see how this country is being ESCORTED into "fear itself" Fuck the bumper stickers proclaiming "Freedom isn't Free!" Because it IS you fkn morons. People will buy nonsensical bumper stickers if the rhythm o fthe words resonates no matter how imbecilic the battle cries...China probably made 100 billion on those yellow car magnets and little plastic car flags...its such a joke....just because we don't know the answers doesnt mean its required to pretend we do..local news cutting to TX Chainsaw Massacre 3 commercials directly following fluff stories about Girl Scout Cookieing in Newtown....its a fkn joke....spitting in the face of dead children because people think their stupid lives really matter in ways they simply don't. 20 massacred babies shot up in their little bodies and no one cares to try to talk to father? Or is it that no one is ALLOWED to even TRY to talk to Peter Lanza or his son? Not to exploit but to go thru the painful work of actually understanding wtf happened...but because they had the nerve to die at Christmas time? How dar ethey? We have shopping to do! So fine-just  pin it on the little freak kid everyone thought was weird no questions asked...3 shooters? Whatever-we trust you-easier that way....tv could make anyone look like a killer....

Stupid poeple resort to stupid ends, and ugly people (women mostly) secretly enjoy seeing more attractive people suffer. Get to the heart of a million trite matters and you'd be doing more...

Like He Said Enviornment OR Crowd CONTROL

A Cancer Cycle, From Here to China

By DAN FAGIN

Published: January 11, 2013

MORE than one million people in the Chinese city of Handan awoke last week to the alarming news that an essential source of their drinking water, the Zhouzhang River, had been dangerously contaminated by a 39-ton chemical spill in the nearby city of Changzhi. What made the news even more shocking was that the leak, from a factory pipe, had started at least five days earlier but had been kept secret by government officials, who allowed millions of their neighbors to keep drinking.

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The people of Handan reacted to these disclosures the same way almost anyone else would. First, they panicked, mobbing stores for bottled water. Then, they were furious, demanding to know why no one had told them they were drinking water laced with a probable carcinogen. If history is any guide, they will never get a satisfactory answer.

For me, reading about Handan prompted a sick feeling of déjà vu. For the last five years I have been writing a history of the chemical industry’s egregious 60-year involvement in the New Jersey shore town of Toms River, which gained unwanted notoriety in the late 1990s thanks to a remarkably well-documented cluster of childhood cancer cases and a long history of often hidden industrial pollution.

When news of the cancer cluster leaked in 1996, there was the predictable townwide panic, including a run on bottled water supplies. After a wrenching five-year investigation, state and federal health officials concluded that the sick children were more likely to have lived in parts of town where exposure to industrial chemicals — via drinking water and polluted air — were highest.

It was, by definition, an association, not a causal relationship, and it was statistically significant only for girls with leukemia. But in the murky world of neighborhood cancer cluster studies, that’s as close to a definitive finding as you’re ever likely to see. That same year, 2001, the families of 69 children with cancer won a multimillion-dollar legal settlement against two chemical companies and the water utility.

As in Toms River, so many things about last week’s debacle in Handan were infuriating, starting with the chemical involved: aniline. That was the compound that launched the synthetic chemical industry in 1856, when a precocious 18-year-old named William Henry Perkin, experimenting in his parents’ London attic, inadvertently discovered that aniline, dissolved in sulfuric acid and mixed with potassium dichromate, made a superb purple dye.

Soon London, Basel, Switzerland, and the Ruhr Valley in Germany were littered with aniline factories, many of which would morph into familiar corporate giants like CIBA, Geigy, Agfa and the German behemoth BASF, the industry leader. In Basel and London, it was said, you could tell which dyes were being made by the color of the nearby canals and rivers, where the factories dumped their waste. Factory bosses would send workers on clandestine midnight runs to the Middle Bridge in Basel to dump barrels of waste into the fast-moving Rhine.

Basel is a border city and the Rhine flows north, so the waste was Germany’s problem — just as last week’s spill was Handan’s problem, not Changzhi’s.

In 1895, a Frankfurt surgeon named Ludwig Wilhelm Carl Rehn began noticing unusual numbers of bladder cancers — he called them “aniline tumors” — among workers in dye plants. Whether aniline was the specific cause was hard to determine, since by then, chemical manufacturers had expanded well beyond aniline and were using dozens of compounds derived from coal and oil to make dyes and many other products. What was obvious was that these synthetic hydrocarbons were leaving a trail of tumors wherever they were manufactured.

The legacy of cancer followed the industry as it spread to America. In the 1950s, at Cincinnati Chemical Works, almost half of the long-term workers who handled a dye compound called benzidine got bladder cancer. Soon after, the Cincinnati factories closed and their Swiss owners transferred manufacturing to a huge new facility in a small town where there would be less scrutiny: Toms River.

Today, there is little left of the vast complex the Swiss operated in Toms River for more than 40 years. Manufacturing ended there in 1996, just as the cluster controversy was heating up. Now, after so many years of painful publicity about cancer and pollution, many residents of Toms River are happy to have moved on, and who can blame them. They are much more likely to be worried about the damage Hurricane Sandy recently inflicted on hundreds of local homes than about any lingering effects from decades-old water and air pollution.

The reality of 21st-century globalism, however, is that none of us can pretend that by pushing the chemical industry out of our communities we have stopped enabling its dangerous practices. The industry jobs that started in Basel, and then migrated to Cincinnati and Toms River, are now in Shanxi Province and other coal-rich areas of China. BASF alone now owns or invests in 45 Chinese ventures. Meanwhile, hundreds of smaller companies like the Tianji Coal Chemical Industry Group, whose Changzhi factory was the source of last week’s leak, are busy turning coal into aniline and a host of other chemical products.

Business is booming. If you don’t believe me, head over to the Ocean County Mall in Toms River, where you can get a pair of jeans dyed just the right shade of faded blue, thanks to aniline-based indigo dye. They’re made in China, and they’re cheap — if you don’t count the long-term cost.

Dan Fagin, a professor of science journalism at New York University, is the author of the forthcoming book “Toms River: A Story of Science and Salvation.”

This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:

Correction: January 12, 2013

An earlier version of this essay misstated the chemical compound that, when mixed with aniline dissolved in sulfuric acid, made a superb purple dye. It is potassium dichromate, not potassium dichloride."

Briefcasing the Joint? June 5th 2012 Man Dressed in All Black shows up at CET ... Same Black Op Death Squad from Sandy Hook? Crazy? Really? What isnt.

At the time, 6 mos ago, I needed to believe that the little 3rd grader from Croton was maing up the "man dressed in all black carrying a briefacse" last June. But now? Isnt it interesting that the alleged incident was turned into some pseudo sexual/abduction story....could the briefcase of been a gun case of some kind? Maybe he hadnt intended her to see him at all and the candy comment was a distraction? Just like Boston reports 18 deaths today from flu but no one asks how many of the dead had a flu shot this year? Maybe all? But that's another story...has anyone asked the littele girls parent's how her story has changed? Not just since after Sandy Hook but over time...

At first frankly it pissed me off..wanting the littel girl to simply be confused or trying to get attention or who knows....Also wondered if it wasnt some doosh working for some security company hoping to sell metal detectors/new technology as its investment in 911 security needed a shot in arm...

I thought at the time it made no sense anyone would have a briefacse and be up near CET...even a parent would leave briefcase in the car...but what it it was a gun case? What if the candy offer was his attempt to simply bribe some kind of distraction-as if he wasnt intending to be seen by anyone...casing the joing etc...Maybe this threw her off to scare her away from seeing what direction he took off in? Think of all the woods to disappear into? I was sure it was all a big imaginary mistake-needed to believe that as I said....the idea of metal detectors in CET broke my heart-but Im afraid this is the mentality now...It feels like their is a military (who's I have no idea exactly) connection between some of these shootings....that only inspire knee jerk castration of such proportion.

 News producers-perverts corner...why is the news so quick to assume they just know the alleged stalker MUST have had some kidn of sexual intent/agenda? Because thats immediately where their own dirty minds go? Why are people SO awful with life savingly important objectivity? How can nes people loose that essential tool to do their jobs? Thats why theyre all just sophisticated advertizers at this point... http://newyork.newsday.com/westchester/police-seek-child-predator-in-croton-1.3764497

Jon Rappoport Asks NBC Producer Shimon Procupzn to Explain the (Accidentally or Deliberately?) Horrendous Lack of Accurate Info Fed to Confused and Frightened Public

If they found irrefutable evidence that the Newtown incident was in fact a declaration of war by some intl militant group, just kept quiet so as not to alarm a helpless as they are clueless public who could do little to nothing anyway at this point. They would be so completely consumed by their little bake sales, and political photo opping events to hand over all arms just as brilliantly effective propaganda tools are demanding-they would rather go with wrong than right...That's the US's biggest problem. Perhaps its only problem: oblivion...Was just scanning this interesting blog by Jon Rappoport wanted to reiterate folloing good points: http://jonrappoport.wordpress.com/2012/12/18/how-the-newtown-massacre-became-a-mind-control-television-event/

As the police work through the forensic examination, perhaps the major media should conduct a forensic investigation of their own to figure out how they got so much so wrong. Conspiracy theories are not usually spun from the filaments of public imagination. In most cases they are based off of actual, though often obscure, reports in the major media. For as long as the mass media refuses to follow up on the discrepancies in its own reporting as in the Aurora massacre and the Sikh temple shooting, leaving the alternative press with no choice but to investigate, there will be conspiracy theories. Some of those conspiracy theories are undeniably conspiracy fact.  “Sir, we have a report that police pinned a second man on the ground just outside the school. What is his name? What did you do with him? Where is he now.”

One of the great skills of an anchor is the ability to present the news seamlessly. This is what those big paychecks are for: the blends and segues and the underlying tone of sincerity that bleeds into every detail of what is being reported.

It’s called an investigation. Reporters do that.

“Sir, your newspaper ran a story about a man’s body being found in Adam’s brother’s apartment. Then that became Adam’s mother found dead in her own house here in Newtown. What exactly happened there? A mistake? Wouldn’t you say that was a pretty big mistake? How did it happen? What’s that? Typical confusion in the early reporting of a crime? I don’t think so. Thinking a woman was a man and thinking he or she was found in New Jersey instead of Connecticut, that’s not typical at all. Did police find a man’s body. This is key.”

Your typical American television viewer would cringe at such demanding questions. You know why? Because he has been entrained and conditioned by news anchors to refrain from digging below the surface. In other words, that viewer is hypnotized.

“Dr. Smith and Officer Jones, we understand that this boy, who was autistic, extremely shy, who had some sort of personality disorder, went into that school and methodically carried out the slaughter of twenty-seven people. In order for him to do that, he had to reload clips at least twice after the first clip ran out. Does that make sense? We’re not just talking about a violent outburst here, we’re talking about a methodical massacre. How do you explain that?”

If these anchors kept on asking questions like this, do you know what would happen? The viewing audience would begin to stir, would begin to break through their hypnotic programming and wake up.

“You know, he’s right. That doesn’t make sense. Maybe there really was a second shooter.”

“Or that Lanza kid…maybe he didn’t kill anybody at all.”

“What? You mean he was…set up?”

“Maybe he was a patsy.”

Yes. Instead of this kind of talk being consigned to “conspiracy nuts,” it actually becomes part of the evening news experience. Because reporters suddenly ask tough questions.

But no. We have to go with grief and shock. We have to lead with it and stay with it. (And allow Pat Battle NBC to use it as an emotional platform for a totally unrelated shooting at her sister's work place somewhere in an NJ School....shouldve been fired for the self absorbed, oblivious to everything on scene in Newtown reporting)

An artificial construct. The news producers are consciously moving minutes and hours of scene through the tube and filtering out everything else.

They do this every time one of these events occurs, and so the audience expects it and soaks it in and, in that state of entrainment and hypnosis, the audience doesn’t want anything else…because anything else would BREAK THE FLOW and the spell, and the grief would no longer have the same impact.

Newtown is presented as a television event. From the outset, the mood is funereal. It has that tinge and coloration. The audience absorbs it and wants no intrusion on it.

This is Matrix programming.

Welcome to FDR's Definition of Fear Itself

Add up all the stupid arguments, throw in a sleezy knee jerk lawyer quick to sue the state of CT for neglecting to foresee 1st grade getting assaulted by machine guns, and barely 2 weeks after the shocking event...take a couple of troublemakers, local homeland security budgets that need bolstering, then mix with just a handful of the millions of apparently truly soul-less people amongst us, and you get a police officer assigned to every school as the new norm. As the new stormin norm....

I dont even know how to begin to describe the way I just watched at least half a dozen, more like 8 channels intermixing stories about Newtown children returning back to their new school, while at the same time "breaking reports" (fox) coming in for the first time at 5pm about an 11:30am event where a man with a gun showed up at a Larchment school looking for his swimming attire, while also packed with a handgun...all the schools went into "lockdown" (more language that titillates visions of thei rwar games in average 10 yr old minds?)...wtf? Was it a prankster? (Word was he allegedly had an Irish accent...did he do it on a dare? Was it a prank or was it a poor excuse to create a real life drill experience, to get the adults to believe in order to truly test the situation skills? I mean...but what pissed me off was the way theyre simultaneously "Welcoming" back the kids in Newtown with this kind of back to back story? God forbid anyone with a brain would be allowed to hypothesize and make people feel like the situation (barely 3 weeks ago now) isn't just being turned into MJacko type news of the world (dangle babies from balconies(pg1) while BP tankers sink off coast of Portugal (pg5)...oh but then it is isnt it?

Stupidity, impatience, closed mindedness, shallowness, hypocrisi, these are all on the list of "American's greatest problems". But no one is allowed to be anything other than "positive" all the time....and what happens with too much positivity? The obvious imbalance that goes from encouraging millions of sell outs to at least admit what they sold out their tru value for to this chronic deception that seems to work to keep us on track for war......kept doped with religion and sex and tv news....the absudity that people will vote EVERYONE's future into the hands of "appointed experts" who will determine who is "crazy" or who is worthy...just like they do in China!

Does this kid's father have anything to say about what happened? Or is his life in danger too? No one is capable of talking...and although that kind of damage cant just be reversed over night....why are people so against speculating a little? I think this is the brother of the alleged killer...I have hated violent video games since Grand Theft Auto...since the movie TOYS first came out Ive been watching my government turn generation after generation into shallow, self serving for the moment, boringly predictable sex hungry killers....this describes at least half of of all people Ive ever met in my life, likely more....as a single woman I am literally propositioned in a million different ways by so many (gross) men...and if I need a favor from a neighbor say? Even the creepiest, handicapped, impoverished, minority, hopeless, sad sack of a specimen of....I asked him back in sept if I could give him 10 bucks to drive me somewhere and he says "What's in it for me?" Incapable of forming any healthy bonds with a neighbor why? As I walked into town one day, my hip came apart and I was in so much pain....all these low lifes drive by just DARING you to BEG them for help because they LIKE it like that...thast is where poverty comes from!!! We make each other poor....because stupidest amongst us have been empowered with steady income (because theyre nature is that of sell out medicocre shit...) and because I stand as a reminder they want to shut me up, kill me off...Jane Kartsch along with a few Bikram staff were trying to turn me into some kind of "violent" person too...I was just looking at the police reprot from tville...it doesnt say "dangerous" it in fact says "Know to be a violent person, not believed to have weapons on hr at this time?" Like I have EVER had weapons of any kind EVER in my life? But this is how adults bully each other...I will get President Obama to acknowledge my trail of false police reports STARTING with Jane Kartsch...look forward to reading the last one she had written up back in Sept. How that "reads". Ive not had the gumption to bother...I am played out by all of this...beyond sick of it....but will get around....maybe they didnt bother writing one yet...but after reading this will write something super accurate...or maybe Ill piss off the wrong person and they'll nominate me for the next fall gal.....I wish it was paranoia and not FIRST HAND EXPERIENCED perception.
 I have NO idea what the hell happened in CT....but when you piece all of the propaganda together with the genuinely flummoxed as they are shallow news personalities incapable of handling themselves in ward reporting, especially when its starting to happen here at home?

Americans are as arrogant as they are oblivious as to how despised by billions we are around the world...incapable of just shutting the fuck up and listening to the gripes....people who had their families blwon up, their school children slaughtered....I see a connection between Patreous's sad distraction and how that played out in the minds of people from Kandahar, who I believe lost almost exactly the same number of people, not all but half young children...do they wopnder to themselves "Look whatthe head of US intelligence is busy doing while his underlings are free to (I bet it was even the same kind of weapon?)....Did "crazy" young 20 yr old buy who had the perfect reputation for playing part of local psycho really do it? Or was it just easier to settle on that story so close to xmas shopping and worry about business reports?

"Americans" (whatever that means anymore) are so utterly consumed by the dangerous delusion that our lovely life happiness is the thing to protect us from such a disgruntled world...

Another "news" story showed some "terrorist" named A. Nazeer being escorted out of a helicopter...I thought to myself "Almost exact name of character in homeland first of all so (wtf?) Im looking at the uniformed "swat security" on either side and realizing the slight smiles...."Terrorists" could create their own "news" scenarios and who would know the difference? Cops for the past 20 yrs have been tied up with subway token theft, yoga teacher disputes, and other assorted nonsense...no one's really been paying attention....to how impressively the invasion is going down.....how many MILLIONS of people, all over the globe, get a hard on from war? At least a couple....Ive been barking about tis stuff happening frm the moment I had my head bashed in by a low life (rookie?) black woman cop....who is paid probably $100,000 a year to "teach" patience.....enough to make me realize why desperate people go republican...because it is all just a numbers game....Dr Oz will claim his broadcast of his own colonoscopy saved some man's life (said thsi on tv today)...but It had me end up in the care fo some cowboy wise ass dr who SNIPPED at my color on the camera so as to show me how "simple" it was so I would just shut up and take the Michale Jackson drug so he and Dr Freudman(?) could get on with their work...he snipped me twice...when he saw how upset I was that he'd just snipped an dmade my colon bleed for no apparent reaosn the lies began...anyway...I know I cant prove any of this...unless Dr F was honest....could I ever be so lucky? Lucky enough to be shown one fkn ounce of repsect...when Ive only ever tried to giev of myself, in not so obvious ways perhaps, but give nonetheless...to keep 'cops in schools as the new norm"...from happening....but I see how thick the stupidty...even smart people to blind to see....I dont even hate my gun selling enighbor as much...when I realize, poor people threaten each other constantly...and resort to guns because rich people make their wwealth from manufacturing the consent f rthe behavior...all the while pretneding to be better than that etc...will rewrite this later. 

Did I write already about the scary man I saw in the woods not too long ago? Should I have called police? People need to say to themselves a million times a day "Is this really true? Or does this person have some kind of ulterior motive for making me THINK it is true..?" Even if only the person is bored and crazy making up lies...lies lies lies lies lies....surrounded by piece of shit lazt ass men who flirt just enough to see if they can get you to fuck them so its worth their while to help u out....thats what our society is made up of...brb