Xolito

So this chick gives me a homeless xolo, asks me to take care of it for a week... I have barely had it 3-4 days...Yesterday she was asking me "What did you name it..." I thought she's tricking me into falling in love with it. Because it's still a puppy, it is a lot of work and Im not sure Im physically going to be able to keep up. My back was so on fire this morning the hopelessness of never getting better sets in like harsh reality of end of life...IM HAVING THIS DOG TAKEN AWAY FROM BABYSITTING FOR IT BECAUSE OF THIS PHOTO!!!!!!! God give me strength!

But here's the thing...yesterday I was thinking she knew I would be a sucker for wanting to keep this dog (that she told me 5 people so far have dumped including herself, referring to it as fucktard dumdum unruly, not well behaved....she sounded like she hated it...but Ive been telling her how much I love it, how much fun IM having with it and now she SUDDENLY needs to take it away from me prematurely-wow....its just an example of what people do to each other every day ...over so many differnet things......I figured there was a little affectionado in the name calling...but I owe this girl big time on top of...well anyway...so here I am baby clothes, onesie,completely head over heals in love with this little amazing dinosaur dog....and just now I get hatemail from her for this photo abaove because as she claims I was "teaching it bad behavior". It hit me how common this is, Wendy, Jane Karsch simply how ridiculous MOST people are...how quickly they resort to total destrucion mode on my already destroyed life simply because I talked back, or stood up to their egomaniacle choice to control to the death...I became overwhelmed by this realization of their need to deliberately hurt me.  That if I were to simply react the wrong way, wrong choice of words with this emotionally stunted person she would want to rip this dog out of my arms for the SOLE purpose of hurting me, no concern fro dog's emotional tyrauma, under the pretense of being concerned I dont know better than to let a puppy, a child for god's sake reach onto a stove? In the photo to which she is referring I had just sewn this onesie he has on and so for taking an adorable photo one after another and snapping this one too....think about it? Why  would my "friend" assume that I posed him there, or had to put a treat there on purpose? Obviously its a stove, he's exploring...and of course Ive only told him 3500 times in 3 days to get off ALL the counters in the kitchen...but she's upset because she texted me all week telling me he "cant be trusted in bed not to pee (all over the place he pees" she said) and that "he's a pooping machine"....I went out and bought drop clothes for entire apt....anyway the point is This dog IS not this way with me....maybe because I am not a disgusting person who lives in the excrement of dozens of animals at once, confusing any animal on where he might think about relieving himself....come on? Peeing on her feet in bed she said. Thats disgusting because SHE is disgusting. This is her apartment around the corner from me - people actually pay her to board there dogs there! Mean while her nasty landlady told her that I m "bad news"...maybe because I write about scum of the earth so openly...and yet ironically i get in touble for calling them on their bs...whatever dont care anymore Im done...congrats Jane you won! MY lief is over...how does it feel? You feel good to see a good person destroyed. Your son must be so proud.

Wendy Weisberg's Last Apartment in Westchester County. She blamed the landlord for the black mold she held animals in. But I give a cookie to a puppy ACO threatens to arrest me. Right.

This pup was so magical, SO healing I had been sharing with her how much fun Ive been having...instead of being happy that the dog learned to sit and lay down yesterday with me....she will insult me as if I dont have enough sense to know not to keep him safe every second...Im only a 10,000xs better nurturer than her but she's on this kick to hurt me....and I realize people do this each others childen! I am SO glad I have never had to enduire the psychotic busllshit perant put each other thru...the vindictive shit I can only imagine....so here I am feeling better one minute about life...and boom...this wioman who had a cre of friends all into s&m mentality with each other.

when I was asking her about whether its true they need suncreen and or bathing regularly she didnt care a lick about that...left me to my own googling to figure it out...but she sees one cute pic....and wants to pick a fight (come on who wouldnt be insulted by the suggestion they would be as retarded as to train an animal to juump up on a STOVE for fux sake?) There was a crumb! He found it! But she wants to pick a fight over a pssing moment, she's deliberately trying to  insult..and why? Because I was happy? I am SURROUNDED by stupid backward people who depend on fighting to feel anything at all I just realized......and now that Im processing some weird things sadi over past few days...one mad saying his but looks like____ andother woman taking close up photos of it...I realize child moletsors probably want to mess with these dogs...they are natural cuddle bunnies....I want to play mom with it! Is that worse or just as bad in some people's opinion? I felt value in teaching this puppy , potty y=training it....only one accident so far an dthat was within his first hour of arrival....this "dog trainer" ois more worried about retarded raina keeping this dog happy and healthy and looking good for it...because why? I wont BOTHER speculating.....any more than I already have...but what I DO mean to insinuate is this is exactly what Joanie Mitchell means when she sings "Its the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling its the unraveling and it undoes ALL THE JOY THAT COULD BE".....I hate hate. I mean within 45 minutes of telling her to back down a little...she sends me her "final" decision on where she thinks the dog should go...its ALL such a head game frankly Im not going to pretend I really get it....other than its mean its cruel...and NOTHING is ever what It seems...youd think "animal people" have best interests of animal at heart but really its ALL a game of survival...and like the type A crazy lady I met a couple fo days ago over rescuing a street cat...she 's SO ready to FISH her ass off...looking for vulnerbailities to use against me for whatever warped ego fest she's having with herself...i mean HONESTLY she was scolding me for putting kibble an dsuch out for the cat once in a while....I told her I wished I could afford to take it to vert and help it out more...but THERE that is EXACTLY where the disrespectful judgement begins...when she offers to pay for the vet bills herself-I think to myself"sure why not ok I will join this cat care group"...but no....then she goes and talk to Robin Bolls who she just adopted a cat out to and cant wait to compare notes!!! THAT is why North Korea wants to take shots at a country so full of obese hypocrisy.....ALL i have to offer even with NOTHING is more than these idiots combined because my heart os more pure than they could ever imagine their heads so full of the ptsd from theoir alku childhoods? I dunno I only recognize the shame....the sadness....and how ironically easy it could be if people kept their egos in check especially when they got NOTHING to be egotistical about...IM looking at this little love muffin now....in my empty life....and being told she's going to rip him out of my arms...the ONLY reason I took him in first place was because she said she would pay me $400 to keep him till someone came along to rescue, first some bs about them being on vacation then she said she hadnt decided yet...all I know is I was taking it day by day and trying to feel healing for everyone involved, certainly the dog most of all....but poeple have trouble seeing to dog's bst interests being put first ...wow....lol disgusting people taking away any little thing I might remotely start to excel at ....unreal.....omg......I had suggested to her yesterday I keep him for maybe as long as it takes to find him perfect place, or until my back gives out...but she prefers to hate me, look down on me, would never work side by side...so fkn full of her inept self as...you reading this? Dont. It aint for you.-not talking to you-figuring out why EVERYTHIUNG in the world needlessly suffers because stupidity and ego get in the way -such a shame.......its just about figuring out humanity in order to come up with answers...tahts my contribution-meanwhiel I feel like I have maybe a few monts  to live my body is in so much pain...and I told her I was feeling those supposed "healing powers" on my arthriris...felt them before I read about them....But I cant afford health insurance why? BECAUSE POEPLE DONT GOVE A SHIT ABOUT EACH OTHER EVEN WHEN IT ALL COULD BE SO EFORTLESS SO SIMPLE.......dont flatter yourself W...The xolo should be protected from molestors....I wouldnt put it past her to look for some priest...look I KNOW this sounds gross...but if you cant talk about it it will never get fixed.....this dog is like a little monkey, almost human like in its emotions....makes me feel this incredible magical healing....I know I can love it better than anyone, care for it, protect it...but I wont be allowed because I cant afford a vert if nything happened etc...and so these egomaniacle asshols play this game with each others heads...Had a glimpse....people are sick fkers. Ironic....Nothing but love to offer...but poeple WANT to see me full on fail at this point....yoga....dogs....amazing.....

The puppy was taken from my loving arms, from its pajamas, warm bed with me to ciddle with feeding it sweet potatoes and playing with it all day to a cage in a neurotic woman's home while she is out of tonw to April 19th! Should I get MORE of a compelx from this?  I desrve thsi why? !!!!