Preying For Healing

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. My back hurts so much at times but I'm feeling with patience injury will reverse. Rabbit feels so powerful, even when I can't fully execute the healing radiates throughout from head to toe.

Health and Friendships

Looking at some old photos from training sometimes...makes me sad....I was so on my way to get super healthy but even when things were good I wasn't quite there yet. I still wanted to drop another 20 and loose all that damaging pressure on my joints from being overweight for so long....woops there I go again...trying to understand why people can be so cruel...

Never too Old Never Too Anything to Experience Bikram

YOGA 911

After months of going without a heated studio and debilitating injuries from February, my body is finally starting to heal steadily. For the first time in months I was able to do a few postures I'd lost touch with. My hip injury is slowly staring to correct itself although I still can't fully use it even in soem very basic postures. But practicing twice a day is like magic.

For a few seconds I found myself holding my breath in my Camel posture tonight. This made me realize there is definitely a fear factor inside of me still. Im reluctant to push myself to hard when it feels like things could still snap. So my consciousness of what Im doing deepens emotionally. That relaxation plain and simply opens up the blood vessels even more to bring the nutrient rich blood to stimulate the healing....I can feel that magical buzz from head to toe. Even after all the hell Ive been put through, there are moments lately when I feel like life couldnt get any better-thanks to this yoga.

Bikram Bliss

The therapy of the heat, especially when you're overweight and or out of shape, is what makes people return in droves to their Bikram practice. Compared to other yogas more suited for people who are  younger, naturally stronger and more flexible than most, Bikram has a kind of consoling, comforting safety net with the heat factor.

Although I lost 12 pounds over the past 2 weeks, I seem to have plateaued. Making a second, gigantic lasagna this week and devouring most of it myself undoubtedly a factor...
but still the privilege of having such an incredible heated space at my fingertips again is still working its magic. Everyone should have a Dayton heater in their home to experience practicing alone once in a while I daresay.

Minnesota is that You?

Someone or thing from Minnesota is visiting just about every page Ive ever had online (including this one every day this week...)...Lots of Micrsoft visits too, Chinese loBOTomies....should I be flattered?

using the breath to console the heart

Ive done yoga at least once a day, more in fact twice a day since June 4. Im down 12 pounds. This is what the hot temperature allows me to maintain, almost effortlessly. The heat some might want to argue is all in my head, but who is anyone to deny such dramatic resultat?  The hot temp is key. Espsecially when Im with injuries and being out of shape, the heat is a saving grace. It's hard to explain that to other people who dont do the yoga...sounds to them its just a factor in my head I might be making more out of etc....Its so hard not to imagine the incredible shape I would be in today, if people didnt sabotage my practice. But now at least with the heat, I feel like I can transport myself more systematically into a meditative practice that deepens every day.

As I loose weight I start to feel there's hope Ill be able to run again. Maybe restore back to factory settings even at my age. The sheer joy of doing Bikram with authentically heated room, on my own, without interruption is I believe more powerful than anything a doctor could do....I gate to wosh the summer away but if Im left to practice for 2 mos, no one will recognize me I will be so healthy, maybe dazzling.....What could possibly happen to stop me? What snarling vindictive human being will try?

One day Jane Kartsch will explain to me what I ever did to her, that she would set so much evil in motion against me, vindictively make it her mission to stop me from having a career as a Bikram Yoga Teacher. It will be before a jury who will award me a small fortune as if anything could ever compensate for my infinte loss.

Jabe Kartsch likes to tell people I didnt graduate from Bikram Teacher Training. Maybe someone can tell me why? I can't think of anything more evil than denying yoga to anyone...what horrible thing must someone do to be banned from practicing? When my lawyer friend offered to write to her to try to get at the heart of the matter, I never imagined she would be stupid enough to respond at all, but to actually put in prunt her contradictory statement, all complaining of aftyer the fact issues we've gad. AFTER she started her smear campaign....Thank you Bikram fo this incredible unfolding of justice, right before my eyes. Make me strong enough to inspire others to learn how to find such inner joy and peace.

Dayton Heaters, Sea Buckthorn Juice and 12 Pounds down!

Bikram Yoga is for everyone, everyone just doesn't know it yet :) We put up the Dayton heater less than 2 weeks ago and Ive faithfully done the yoga at least once a day since. Ive not changed my diet per se, the daily practice just has me eating less automatically. Its like you can feel everything coming back online, back on track and Ive dropped 12 pounds in less than 2 weeks. The only thing I added in my life was Sea Buckthorne berry juice and I must say an ounce of that a day may have curbed my appetite dramatically. Because I am usually famished and ready to chow down after a Bikram workout but not this round. Also a surprise visit from a dear friend gave my libido a dose of happy love to add to the mix....whatever the case Im back on track :)

Happy Thoughts

When I turned on this old laptop the usual error message asking me to correct date & time showed: "12/31/1969" Sometimes it feels like a conspriacy of google proprtions, a la the  Truman show to keep me happy and from jumpin'...One of the most vivid memories of great joy and happiness in my life, I started meditating on the memories, the smell of my parents house in Croton, their friend's cigarettes and the booze and food smells as my 9 yr old friend Nancy Taylor (from Yorktown)  and I ran up and down the stairs waiting for the ball to drop....anyway....when I entered 5/31/11 11:00pm it had that very second turned 11pm without even looking....I enjoy a lovely degree of kismet almost every hour of my life...stupid little sign posts along the way that make me feel Im conversing with god, that Im on my path and I get the power of breath, and strong as ever-spiritually anyway....no matter janes of the world exist ....2 completely different servers setting my date and time 24 hrs before Im posting? How could it possibly be?

Sitting and Deterioration

I just heard a very interesting story about  how sitting for too long can do just as much damage as smoking. It was a 30 second teaser actually about a segment on 5pm news tomorrow evening. Now that I think of it, there was another story this morning claimed that cell phones were as dangerous as smoking and even lead poisoning.

It reminded me of a doctor's condescending face when I held my hand up with a black as night pin size bump right on the spot where I hold the damn phone like it became a vital organ at some point. I walked out of her examination room without saying goodbye....because that moment reminded me of what a total waste of time Drs have been in my life.  Except for a small few. So why do I bother going I asked myself.

For six months Ive been in one way or another kept from being able to practice over the past 6 months. Whether its a radiator problem that keeps me from driving 2 hrs to take another 2 hrs to practice (4+ hrs everyday? Who does that?) I did that for 3 yrs, and still had to escape 1200 miles, far away from Bikram Yorktown's owner Jane Kartsch to try to salvage what was left of my ruined life.....but I digress, as I will for as long as I live until Jane either apologizes or explains.

I spoke with some very important sounding prosecutor yesterday at the dog park about what happened. But as I simultaneously watched him controlling his dog by quietly subtly  telling the canine he might be choked to death if he didnt obey....I realized I was just talking to myself out loud....but a sweet teenage girl and another guy did seem to try to understand....it made me realize I will ask every single person I meet probably for the rest of my life, who gets away with filing false police reports?

Just like most everyone I know telling me to "move on", even the Yorktown DA's office said the same thing. "Nothing happened! No harm was done." they said. Even when I told them the report was used to interfere with a $12,000 training program and future bosses who'd hired me (as the felonious witch called every Bikram studio in the tri state area for godsake to tell them) that I was "dangerous" and not to be trusted, hired, or EVEN allowed to practice they said "Hard to prove." Even when I answered "But I have her emails to, and forwarded to me from Bikram Headquarters she didnt realize I'd ever see! She is caught caught caught period...but they are busy working for their political careers..unpracticed in recognizing (see http://www.callthepolice.com to see police report and excerpts from Jane's own lawyers pathetic attempt at explaining "why" she was alarmed and felt the "need" to call police  (catching her ironically, only in proving what a fabricating, vile bacteria she is in the end)...unless youve been the victim of slander you cant know. The fact that the subject is yoga makes it seem harmless to anyone else but me....except the poeple who know as much as I do stopping me from practicing was an outright assault....

Woops there I go away from the point again....sitting....the depression Ive allowed to manifest in my body for the past 6 months has aged me 20 yrs. Janes wrath continues to live on even when I moved 1200 miles from her breath...the damage, like induced cancer lives on....I write instead of killing myself....Jane Lartsch owes me 5 yrs of my life...everyone knows physics, the game of telephone...

Dont worry Jane we'll find some kind of acceptable settlement that will allow you to see your kids on the weekends.

Oh no! Am I being grumpy again? Its hard accepting being killed off slowly...I certainly wont go quietly...Im still hopeful I can loose a mass of weight one more time at the age of 50....its the question of why that turns my stomach...and breaks my heart over and over feeling no matter what I do it only takes one liar to ruin a life...

woops this is way too long. oh buit youre still reading? must be a stranger or another troublemaking gossiping hypocrite....it dont matter....."winning' :) is a small peace of mind....ask the local Mahopac Judge who told Jane I have a classic case of defamation against her....

There is a kind of wealth that feeds on the existence of poverty to make itself feel something, anything. The soulless make up the number of so many millionaires because theyre able to murder withouit a conscience. THAT is what Jane Kartsch is. I will write about this lair forever and no lawyer would ever dare cease and desist me because THE RECORT and THE FACTS in a snap could land Jane's ass in jail for abusing the system.