DEAR US STATE DEPARTMENT: TELL US ABOUT BEATRICE MULZER

Sounds crazy? Extreme? It's fricking NASA! Like its SO far fetched she's a dam spy? ALL ABOUT ACCESS TO MONEY. Her's is counterfeit residue from the days Europeans first started taking out loans on swiss bank safety deposit boxes supposedly STILL with the millions in them...poeple were so naive 25 years ago? Ya. they were...Those were the reagan years americans love to reminisce about....I dont knwo what her story is...but I do know the guy who introidced me is like a cia killer sort of dud with a former russian spy gf and I will never forget that that school shooting years back? He (an american was there) and I dont know why I imagined he had something related with it going on....he was ALL about staged evenst...same guy who taught me Bikram, introduced me to Maharaji (who I adore) dont misunderstand...Im not saying his name because IM not looking for trouble....but IM also not interested in going out-letting SHIITTy crue poeple destroy innocent peopleJUST because they have ACCESS to money because theyre maybe prettier lol...EVERYONE hated Beatrice at first...that studio doesnt make that much money...so who is REALLY paying for a $200,000 studio move and reonovation of space? Her "microsoft certifictaion?" I have no doubt hr FRONT is solid. I have no doubt she's very smart....But fuck her for the way THEY all fucked me...

I found this last nite. Check out my lasts conversations with the poeple who chose to CREATE a police situation just so they didnt have to give me my money bac? EVERYTHING is documented. This one is a Thai "girl" who owns 2 restaurants and another studio in Orkando (who I gave $6000 to buy studio form previous yera.....oh how sad? YOUR power is out? YOUR life went up in smoke because of the way everyone IGNORES what was allowed to be down to me under this asshole named Bikram Choudhury. Would I rather be DRIVEN into thoughts of suicide ro fight back these mothert fcking hypocrits? Guess.

She's pretty alright. But Susan Miller (or was it Widdick?) will tell you her breasts are fake... drops the name "Microsoft" so much I htought she was actually with them...ten you start to realize there are so many millions of "Microsoft certified" "trainers" that...u have to wonder...also thought the company she worked for sounded fishy too...bragging that Charlie Sheen would be a key note speaker for example in Toronto at some event for SMB Nation(?) I couldnt help but puke when I noticed their website was also praising Mitt Romney's "deregulation" agenda...which is exactly how Beatrice simply made the call (apparently from Pune India) that she was coming back to FL and so thats why they went about getting rid of me so illegally, so violently, so cruelly..an dgot away with it....makes me want to join he NRA when "yoga teachers" create false police reports describing me as "dangerous" or difficult...thanks to APPLE and my iPhone VIDEO FOOTAGE of the event...I prove them all to be the lying pieces of shit they are...I lost EVERYTHING. and for what? I held out from going over the edge with my bitching in the hopes someone would apologize! But no. Instead of even giving me half of my money back they gave me a fake police reprot to stop me from ever working with anyone affiliated with Birkam again? What exactly did I do to desreve that? They cant tell you..because I did nothing. So you want war? You got it Biotchthief Mulzer.

Yoga as a Service: Geek Beatrice Mulzer Found In Florida!
Former SMB Nation employee Beatrice Mulzer has been found in Florida. Many readers recall the Amazing Bea as an author, trainer and overall team player at SMB Nation from 2001 to 2008. Beatrice went on to write another Microsoft Press “Small Business Server 2008” book and then elegantly exited the technology industry. A short contract stint in Washington DC in the IT area for the US Census was followed by a complete career change: Bikram yoga. See the video below for my interview with Beatrice!
When I visited Beatrice for a day before Lotusphere, I drove to Titusville, Florida to attend her Bikram Yoga class in a studio she owns. When I participated in her Saturday morning 90-min “heat yoga” session, it kicked my ass.
Always the geek, Beatrice acquired the yoga studio and implemented technology to improve its operations. Well-known as a SBSer and a leading Microsoft Small Business Specialist trainer and author, Beatrice runs her entire yoga practice from a $0.99 iPhone app. She converted handwritten 3.x5 cards to an online database and instituted recurring billings with her invention of Yoga as a Service (YaaS). She is completely Apple now (iPhone, iPad) and stores everything in the cloud. No fuss, no muss, no on-premises technology. It all makes sense as those that know Beatrice understand that she is a free spirit.
In a wide-ranging interview at her spacious condo that looks directly at the launch pad of the Kennedy Space Center, Beatrice demonstrated her interest in healthy living. She exercises and does yoga daily, proudly takes an afternoon nap, rides her bike and eats very healthily.
So what next for the 7x24 Beatrice (she has even more ENERGY than I remember from her geek days). Clearly she has ended her career in technology and I support that. She put in one hellva decade as an SBSer. She is now deep into yoga, having opened Birkham franchises in the US, Europe and India. She now owns a studio and has several instructors’ working for her. She has expressed a future interest in the raw food movement and healthy living. We’ll keep an eye on her progress but I end with this: I WANT HER JOB!!!!

Jonathan Demme StoppED Making Sense

Stop making sense? Really? Oh you were just kidding? While hiking in Croton I met some kid from Burns Film Center who was working on a doc about profiling...I tried to get him to see that continuing to play into a race "issue" focussed project was impractical..I told him what happened to me in 1993 and about my own project and how it's even devolved into Jane Kartsch of Bikram Yoga Yorktown creating fals police reports and cruel pointless sabotaging mind games....all because me a nice white girl, had my head severely bashed in by the knee of a  Robin Given's looking NYPD animal. He gave me his card...interestingly enough I didnt call it for many months and when I finally did lol? He practically hung up on me....But how would this piece of shit hypocrite act if suddenly he saw me babysitting for Jonathan Demme's grand kids? Its not that I hate people....but like George Michael sings "Its hard to love when theyre so much t hate" and frankly its not possible to love anyone when theyre full of their own shit...love is getting them to see it no?

I still need to imagine Jonathan Demme isn't a full on disapointing asshole like so many others we iconoSIZE and use as guides, road markers etc via art through life because thats how it's always been....ask the catholic church what Michelangelo and Susan Lucci have in common. Ask the pentagon, ask Tom Cruise, ask Oliver Stone....survivors because even though theyre bascially Mephistoes during war times....we forgive them...and ticket sales to movies at some point because more serious a "growth" industry than anything even remotely related to farming. The perversio is so entirely off the charts its not possible for me to embarrass myself...and so at this point...Im left to simply point out that ugliness as the only solution or remedy to it....ADMIT IT....allow everyone to experience joy by letting go of dumass secrets...thats shoudl be Obama's battle cry....Bush and Cheney should be sentenced to living on farms in the middle east...any country at all....fuck it let them go to europse...just OUTSIDE of the US...like bad dogs set to the wolves. But no we have to fake smiles and pretend we dont know sugar causes diabetes...stop making sense and then what? Watch people you counted on hang up on you?

Check this out Jane. Check this out Bkram. Jonathan Oscar Demme while casting for Silence of, invited me to babysit for him after people had given him a tape of my (very first ever written or recorded) songs.  (I was later told Jonathan Williams listened to it for the soundtrack but opted not to). Anyway, I told Demme in that phone call I didnt feel right because I wouldnt be devoting my attention to the kid, (a newborn named Brooklyn). Because I was obsessed with paying off my (then ($8000) student loan debt asap I was holding out for songwriter-no more waitress, babysitter, personal assistant etc. Imagine? He kindly gave me his telephone number like a concerned father and told me to be careful on the road, as word got out these "manson like hippies" were seducing me...But here's the thing....Jonathan gave me his personal number and I never once called to bother him...until 6 months later when I was sort of set up in LA.....I was so excited to talk to him about his assistant telling me that my song had a shot at being in the soudntrack etc....but the first words he said to me were "How did you get this number?" It was so disappointing...I never called it again until in 1993 I had my head bashed in by a black woman cop name Deborah Moore....Jonathan pretended to give a shit...but passed me onto Aida, and the rest.....all these people had so much money, I naively believed I only needed ot e patient before being tossed a bone....but I dont really hate Jonathan...he picked and choosED how he wanted to spend his time an dignore me and my shit...s'ok...THAT is life....but the rest if the people mentioned...all came after me , with lies and spins.....so really Jane an dBikram...IM just using a kind of shock tool to get JOnathans attention...because if he doesnt tell my story...Erool Morris will...you mother fucking fucktard pieces of shit...and Jane will pay my loan.

(These people are all about hiding their sideways...ask Jeanne Kunt Anzalone working as a teacher in Clinton's backyard-see? all these poeple think theyre SO important-any association with someone in my admittedly sad and patheiuc situation is undesirable to say the least...but they dont just ignore u like roadkill on the side they RUN ME< EACH OTHER OVER! SO who the fuck wants to talk about "health care? Or "the" economy? Full of shit murderers who kill each other out of a perverted misdirected jealousy like need to "make it" to the top of somebody else's made up mountain...) 

Picture these nutty yoga people loading up everything I owned into trash bags, while calling it a something in cancer or capricorn lingo bs? a "spitual cleanse" etc) and probably going through the bags outside the Carmine Street apt...ran up a $7-800 phone bill etc....and I ended up givong my apt away to poeple who stole it out from under me...but I was young enough still I was resilient...anyway....Demme actually tried to talk me out of leaving NYC probably because everyone around me was scared to death by Bikram Melbourne family who basically scooped me up and out of NYC to go to LA....1989...what a story right Jane? In 1989 Im doing Bikram...but that's of absolutely zero value or acknowledgment to you really? These people indirectly related to Bikram stole EVERYTHING. But years later, I go thru the steps to try to get SOME of that back by working in a career I was really loving....again? Ripped away from me WITHOUT EXPLANATION? False police reports no less lol!!!!! If there was an internet back then no one would have dared TOUCH me with their lying ass.  How is insanity possible Jane? Victimized over and over....and then you jump on board with that same routine? Why? Stop making sense? Oh ya ok. Stopped making sense you mean Jonathan?

Only $8000. Now the debt combined with the interest is almost $30,000! ALl because Im such an awful dangerous person? Or because Ive remained over the years so chronically vulnerable you mother fuckers just didnt know who you were running over? That you coukld get away with it? See where we go with this? You will pay that debt right? At least that....Seemed astronomical then...but look at me go huh? Tell me Im crazy to believe Jonathan Williams might offer me $10,000 for the song My Devil? A tape that made it's way through Columbia Records, Capital, Virgin, Phillip Glass (ASK Kurt Munkacsi)...I could seriously go on naming a dozen moe elton john caliber music people...and that was for my FIRST attempt at writing songs. But Im crazy to go for it? To think its delisional for me to think maybe I could make a TINY amount of money with a great song, I could be proud of, an dactually send a cleverly hopeful message out thru the airwaves? But because Disney execs loved their Britney Spears style child porn world design? Fine....

But I get stopped from becoming a Bikram teacher? (A job a monkey could pull of if necessary)? Im stopped from making that money? Again?

A Lie for a Lie. A Truth for a Truth: It's a Public Service to Expose the Bullshit

If I try to think of anything personal, that I ever confided in anyone, friend or family,  and the idea that they would try to hurt me somehow, with anything so humiliating or embarrassing that it would drive me over a bridge, emotionally....But I've either already written about it (confessed it) or it doesn't exist. However I do take pause when I remember its the lies...all the shit intentionally spun in a certain direction, in order to ruin you without any physical wounds to reval the aggresor...the killers...all I know is kilelrs! Either big killers medium or tiny tiny killers...When think about what got me into this in the first place. all the people who make shit up. its infinte...and so there ya go...why my heart os so broken in the first place.

Lie for a Lie. A Truth for a Truth

by RainMan

25(wo?) years ago I ran with the slogan "Proud to Be Retarded"....I was happy with, got to enjoy, and be incredibly strengthened by my role in enough popularity contests in formative years that I was 100% looking for more meaning frankly. Desperate for it...so I sort of turned into Rainman...was even nicknamed that at my job at Agnes B. in Beverly Hills...I mean listen to that? Does that spund lucky? Fake? Point is I could just state a simple FACT about my life and it pisses people off...because it sounds so great maybe? I dont mention that I was riding a bus to work...because I dont mean to even be talking about myself....but people have always hated me really....My best friend Tracy from the 5th grade a few times tried to tell me why she and Rob Soucy and everyone in fact couldnt stand me, but that I had redeemeing quality they couldnt put finger on....ask these poele...i only have joy left in writing about what I know to be true...I ask about that little story because 25 years later shes out right entertained by her family and other indirectly RELATED poeple throwing me oout of coffee houses...and then I still plug away, trying to make a new go, ascape from my haters...fucking Jeanne...did you see the Movie Melancholia? Thats what it feels like today too...anyway that was a year ago....on the day the earth was supposed to end (2?) summers ago? Remember Jeanne? When you made a point of cringing when I went to give u my email to sort a few things out...but there was no point? Cringed. The cruelty...Even my cousin Melanie...oh my god too many stories....I told her things were so bad in 1994 that I was using a bucket for a toilet (shed just bought a house in VA so I thought she (my childhood sister) would of course have a bathrobe and a cup of cocoa for me...but she changed ehr telephone number(!) Was this the work of CR? I mean NOTHING made sense...But I held on....then years later with yoga they still beat me up....an dI write, and I write...just to ask why...they ALL hang up on me if I try to reach out...thats why I need like a Brad and Angelina Pitt intervention, in other words where poeple who would just stun my haters into stupification enough to listen....and see the error o ftheir ways lol....but its not gonna happen while IM alove...Ive only ever been asking why...and for that have had the shot beaten out of me...here comes another hot flash....my body os so sick it ages like 100 yrs every day it feels likeand I do take some solace in venting all of this....how it didnt have to be this way....and friendship is more important than healthcare-even for something as serious as cancer....but almost no one was ever worthy enough to be called firned....noyt by me as much as even those they play the game with...you can all have each other...full of shit hateful, earth killing hypocrites.

Anwaywhat amazed me was the way so many people who in fact were borderline retarded turned me into target practice for making myself vulnerable. This fascinated me so much that I would even genuinely laugh at first. Without any enjoyment however, I just refused to recognize my disappointment perhaps...such an incredibly lonely feeling....childhood friends, all you have for the important memories (everything) different degrees of liars. Neurotic, networking hypocrites and such a surprise with liars...even Kathy turned out to be a liar...omg she hated me so much because I tried to point out how Fashion and Charity events were self serving (like Kathy Whittemore at Radcliffe with Daniel Okrent...people who dont really go to harvard but they pay a sickly shitload of money to mingle over the summer...thats where you get your writer for the Times, or Th eBoston Globe etc....I mean it makes sense and isnt all that eveil in a way...but when I think of they cruel way these "friend" dissassocaite without explanation....and then it does become worse because I got scared and...I mean literally ONE time in the city in Wonter no less where I literakly had no where to stay, I called Nancy Huddlestion with my LAST QUARTER, she picked up when I called collect, but then to be polite(!) (See this ws how thoughtful I was) I hung up to call back and use my only quarter...and that time she didnt pick up! Even when I said "Omg Nancy Im really in a bind"....  No not a crack head. Just some fucktard named Al Smith who worked at Atlantic Records who wasnt gonna get laid, fought with him and there were no trains back up to Westchester that late.....Thast another thing how people's minds go so dirty so quickly...

I was giving my dog a bath in the tub last nite and to trick him to get in himself I put peanut butter on the wall up high enough her has to get in all the way etc....walls are so oh Ill tell this story another time....the wind feels like it could be the last day on earth....and I want to just say to God how thankful I am, with all of my vivid memories of so many incredible days most of which were spent in bliss and joy inside....just a shame that poepel have to be so full of shit......

The little songstress "Selena Gomez"  was giving an interview on one of those ET type shows and as if he were the queen of England explained to interviewer that she needs to keep her "private lief private" as if she learned that makes her sound more legitamately a "star" because thats what the stras all sat etc....it was so revolting...I wondered what the hell woudl she have to say anyone would want to know? Besides being like 14 yrs old with perverse sums of money....I realzed in that moment shes obviously a front for some cocainelaundering operation....I realized that Id never heard any of her music so went to google it (got a mayo stain on my phone typical of what she represnets) and I listened to 2-3 shit songs...then went for something more obscure....when you google her name its all pictures of her no art....but I found a song called "Outlaw" and at first thought "Oh. Ok she has some substance...this is probably a song about ICE an dimmigartion an dthe sad reality of poverty and so on....omg...what a shallow piece of shit this silly little Texan is....and yet she takes up air time where once Neil Yong stood...its no accidnet....they fit into Mr Brady's suit.....had no idea how right Marx was about Alienation....

Notice how the conversation started? A simple but direct question to a dumb fkn asshole...this is the same story with everyone i know...because its so dumb here, its less emotional -easier to use this as the ultimate example/way to describe what ppl do to me rather thsan Jane and t Donna an d Jeanne and the rest.

Omg! And no shit! This little pip squeak of an asshole "friend" of mine from childhood in Croton actually called people up and told them something (not sure exactly) so that even the band of guys I played music with with Pete a few weeks ago arent emailing me anymore...I was learning a new song...so happy for a day...and then when I called him on being late to pick up Pete Seeger because he's being roped into some "Jamacain Lottery" scheme thats bled him dry...he decided to take it out on me....because I always act so revolted when he even remotely souds romantic towards me...one of those...thats sad maybe in itself....why not be kind....but can you imagine? calling up Pete Seeger's people now and saying things?   They make movies about this kind of psychotic bullying..... This guy even knows about all the horrible police report things that happened to me and yet he would still add to it in some last reort attempt way of controlling something he cant control.... people are so fucked up and its such a shame. It could all be so good....all of the time...I really have to devote more to making the point with this example....its SO clear whats going on in the texts...sums it up better than I could-look at what the fuck people put me through!? WHy!? Worm of a little hunchback of Notre Dame wants to HURT me! Because I asked what kind of Moron gives a guy calling hmself "Jimmy Carter" in Montego Bay Jamaica $15,000!!!!! Because they told him he won the lottery! Can you imagine? And then I tried to point out how much welath he has around him, to hop in a car and go pick up this super hero icon of a man Seeger....he was like an hour late because he's on the phone with all these people in Jamaica...But Im the one who needs tobe hurt and gossiped about? Wo. See why I just want to give up? Really?
DearOprah.ORG

The Diving Bell and the Butternut Squash

Dear Dr Cindy Bryant.- I want to apologize to you for believing that you really thought of me as such a "geniusly phenomenal teacher" (as you told me while BEGGING ME to come live in your empty extra bedroom when I first got down there. This while bringing to my class your nurse friends and Hanibal Lecter anesthesiologist boyfriendz....in other words Im far from an egomaniac, and not so paranoid that I even thought about it that much....but I bring it up because-

As I am now myself morbidly obese, arthritic, psoriatic, necrotic....Im listening to Rosie Odonnel describe having her heart attack and I felt exactly like that yesterday, sweating, slight feeling of needing to vomit passing out into sleep...but obviously not as bad....why call the dr? Everyone woudl be THRILLED if I dies...Imagine KNOWING that about yourself? I also know I dont deserve that. But anyway....Without any real medical care I am unable to find the most accurate terminology, words....in really bad physical shape etc...But the point is every time I struggle to find my balance I stare at a spot on the floor instead of looking up into mirror at myself (as Bikram himself DEMANDED we do IN TEACHER TRAINING AND ask others to try to do also)...But it feels so right, so good to just relax into the pose etc....you paid $200 for a class card becaus eyou felt sorry about what was going to eb done to me? Is that why you never ONCE came to class those last 2 mos? I was revicing the nessage loud and clear that the "elders" of the studio had decided it was time to "remove" me but why so illegally? SO cruelly? So slnaderously? To ensure Im unable to work at a Birkam studio anywhere ever again was necesary because....? How does your oath go again? In my mind I thought I was challenging you...because you were 2 faced with me...I had no idea I was hurting you...see that?

Ive written about your addiction to diet Mt Dew to decsribe the kind of bullshit medicine you practice...and the irony that your were remotely involved in hurting me so badly...simply by lying. Phone records would prove that your were conversing with Susan W and Donna as I was planning on staying with you when I returned from NY...after only 2 weeks you opractically threw me out and spoke to me like I was a ward nurse who needed to sterilize the bed pans "I want this place hotel ready" I think wer ethe words....shit this is gonna be another note to myself, incomprehisble to anyone else until I can take the time to clean up the rambling here....

But ya I think u were a part of this conspiracy....omg I am so gonna get more into this....brb ...ps You can see the pool across the street form new studio? Looks  like I was living the life right? But the pool house was only $400 a month....I believe my laid back way drove Donna crazy jealous, because she didnt know how to really meditate or find actual peace in her superficial eveil personality...shes probably  bulimic...and thats teh only reason she looks reasonably in shape...but anyway....what did I EVER do to ANYONE that I deserved to be so totally KILLED? You still lving your over paid self improtat life Im sure...I have more to say but not now...will rewrite this later...I htink...

Yes anita youre next...did the Aikido club build the new studio for free for Beatrice? So much easier to get along with people who have $200,000 in the bank right?

When I see ads for "Touchstone Health" I realize that even medical insurance is like a pyramid scheme where Spielberg  keeps his family's health SO well taken care of....Marx was right...The alienation fo human beings from what really matters in life in a money driven society...to the point even drs, and yoga classes,...are KILLERS

Donna Trantham's Secret Tax Shelter Bikram Yoga Space Coast

Oh I forgot today (now yesterday) wa sthe grand opening of the studio I used to own (bikramtitusville.com) now Bikram Yoga Space Coast (hows things going Benny?) in Titusville...see the little pool in the bottom left corner? Well thats the pool Im in here also in other pic...I used to tell people it would be so great to have classes across the street and hve the pool to jump into afetr for studnets once in a while etc...(insurance my landlord explained to me wouldnt cover that of course) but isnt it amazing that the FORMER MICROSOFT EXEC FROM GERMANY NAMED BEATRICE KUNT MULZER who was a part of Donna Trantham"s silent parter yoga world...moved the studio into the place I had a fantasy blue print on? The rent was so high I couldnt have imagined pulling it off in reality...but thanks to Bill Gates, and the "new" international element spying on NASA....u never see more than maybe 12 people in her special workshop classes and maybe 4 in regular...but there she is with $100,00 in renovations? I say the state dept should chjeck these mother fuckers out...Bikram is like his own little UN...I used to be naive...but after being raped by assholes from Spain, Thailand, Mexico, Germany, Australia..too many to count...all at once no less...

Smethings up....Beatrice Mulzer quit her job at Microsoft to steal my dinky little third world studio that didnt even have showers....enough money to buy a house, renovate office space into a state of the art studio with manes and womens shower's etc...I mean you look at the signage and the photos of carpenters etc....at least $50,000 low guessimate...houses are cheap down there so well ok....maybe she spent all her savings? But still its just so cut throat....they didnt just drive me out, they did it by filing MORE false police reprots using words like "does not have weapons at this time etc"...God in heaven. On the day I die-take out 3 of them with me...and let their children read this. Donna Trantham is another local lowlife, originally from MA...she owns "Mr Submarine and sells cold cuts to kids..pretends to be a community minded person...but when you see her out drinking she's known as a local slut...ask her x husband charlie....and her multiple lovers ( I met 3 of them) she had me play around with texts to see if he would cheat on her...and he fell for the bait...THAT was the day she stopped being my friend-as if embarrassed...this witch also told me that Suzanne from Bikrm Merrit Island was on trial yrs ago fro having sex with a studnet she taught at, that most of the FL champions are all gay former junkies with crazist stpries ...another time...she told me all of this because I made the mistake of telling her about what Jane did to me...so when it suited her she played that angle on me too...one day her son was arrested for walking on th etarin tracks...

 it made me cry when she told me...that the world is such a tough place for a kid to grow up in etc...arrested for such a petty thing etc...thats was the night I told her about getting beaten up by Deborah Moore of the NYPD in 1993 (starte of end of my life) over the subway token etc...you think youre friends with these people...then months later when theyre in bully mode ...boom....ax falls...I just cant believe that Officer K. Roman was allowed to get away with standing by to stop me from being able to do anything while they changed my lockes...

 JUST so they didnt have to give me back eben half of my money as Moo agreed to do...they decoded they could keep this money if they just made me look bad...I imaghine editing this one day soit is moe coherent and makes sense...but if I dont make it, if I die, if Birkam KILLS me....the details are here and one day all thes epeople's children can know the reality of the BULLYING pices of shit parents...the killers that dont sell as many news papers as the Dhmers and Caseys...more abundant...the source of ALL that is wrong with the world...so stop pretnding nothing can change...TALK ABOUT IT ADMIT IT 

Apologize ....wont hold my breath...see that? Thats what I mean...

Bikram Choudhury Murder Inc

I've been writing so much in my head I forget that Ive in fact written nothing...for a week now I think...so much has been going on the past couple of weeks I am stretched in 4 directions...so I think Im gonna just post a few photos to try to speak for my tired (dying) brain. Bikram Choudhury is in his a heart a murderer more than a healer-for yrs I rationalized that he was just being funny, or tough...but when I see it happening to me, in retaliation for (initially nothing) now speaking out, its still my last wish to keep speaking my mind to the end...and even if Bikram and Jane get their way (my death from mysetrious illnesses) this blog will hopefully outlive them....

Note to Yorktown PD? Seriously? Look at me in these photos? Happier than Ive ever been in my life, almost there! Almost in a place where I could still get arried and have a kid, a successfk business etc -just like everyone else has...like Jane has...but instead all these people that appear to have "it all" spend their time undermining me? How is this possible? How do you let her get awauy with it? Look how "dangerous" I look (best health of my life at age 46) at my Bikram training-Jane told them awful (made up) things about me, and the stress combined with my temperament was the end of me...this represents whats wrong with this nation, with this country's economy...liars and killers just trying to keep large bank accts with blood on their hands...

I honestly believe Donna Trantham et al poisoned me while I was OWNING the Titusville studio..you can see the inside of my ear? Its been like that for over 2 years now-Please any doctors out there call me if u recognize what is happening to me, my skin...

Im aging so rapidly that even if someone gave me a free month at the golden door in ca I'd still come out dying, aging...old at the end of my life...those pics just capture for me how much youth and vibrancy I still had even at 46...I cant help but think about how amazing health would have been if left alone to practice and work...instead I was KILELED BY BIKRAM YOGA THE MOST SUPERFICIAL SEX DRIVEN BORDERING ON CHILD OLESTATION FUCKED UP HATEFUL PEOPLE in the world...I say child Mol because of a story I was told bythe youngest person ever to go to training back in93 or 94 and she was only 16. Claimed that she didnt sleep wih him...told me the story of how Emmy and Raj took her aside and explained that even tho Bikram "seemed to be in love with her" it would be wise to be careful not to fall into sexual relationship...I hate to say this but I think she slept with him and just worries more about the imression it woulkd create if it got at (shes a studio owner too)...I fucking HATE these mother fuckers I dont need to make anything up...that girls father is like a CIA assasin so Im being somehwta doscxreet.... fuck thsi IM tired.Im almost in a place now where I can start practicing again. Of course Im now 205 pounds and can barely lift my leg, or squat, hip is severed from the joint, I can barely walk...I hate Bikram Chourhury as much as Jane now. I officially gave up this year waiting for him to tell me April Fools! This has been a test my dear" or something like that. All so surreal...why must I keep being punished by such fucked up ppl in this life...

I can get my LR up to 105 even now tat its cold, and instead of listenng to Bikram's obnoxious voice, I listen to Maharji. This helps me turn off my mind and do postures as best I can. Gpt pretty sweaty yesterday...now if I can just keep doing it every day for the next 6 months and by the time IM 53 achieve the goals I almost made it to 5 yrs ago...Thanks Jane! Thanks Bikram! Thanks Claire Maarschalk! Thanks Craid Short Fcktard Villani, Thank Raj (lover of women's health issues (fckn hypocrites...

I dont feel like wriitng anymore...I just want to post photos of the scummy hell hole I love in and the one frying pan Ive used for past 10 yrs that has no handle....God please hear my prayers-show me why...help me understand why these assholes killed me prematurely?

The First Airplane Inventors Pushed Their Slaves off Cliffs?

Just 2.5 years ago this was me at my little pool house in FL, having a shot at running my own small business successfully, and I had been until the new coven members poisoned me...I still had a chance...for so much....to put a pic next to this of myself just 2.5 yrs later.....you can see Jane's mental assault took a physical effect.

Domestic Violence vs International Violence. Whats the Difference? Fuck Your Bullshit Bully Foundations-Look in the Mirror

I've not been using the keyboard as much because now that I sold my car I can float for a few weeks...a sense of involuntary calmness. Even though my body feels like it's turning into a coral reef. If I sit still for more than 2 minutes (if that) everything locks up. And as I push my way through it things rip. My hip ball (?) is completely loosened from the socket at this point. Probably worn with age and overuse and all it takes is turning the wrong way and it's as if my torso has nothing holding it up on that side. When I saw a 93 year old man getting around just fine a couple of weeks ago I watched him wondering what the hell is wrong with me 42 yrs youger. And it just gets worse evry day. Sometimes I think some of the women in Titusville poisoned me, because this weird crusty psoriatic rash started there. I still revisit this theory...But, although my skin had been pocky and more sensitive than usual for years...it cleared up by like 25 fkn years when I was in Hawaii doing yoga. Although I'd been feeling under the weather for years, snapping back into health in 2006-2007 gave me an idea of what's reversible. Or so I thought. 

I stll hav ethe emails I wrote to Bikram and cc'd to Craig Villani and others, pleading that they not play games with my life. I told them whatever is happening to mu body, at my age truly felt cancerous and or at least something not to be taken lightly. This was like 2007-2008...and then the crying just got louder...
I was watching this public service announcement with ridiculous statistics about domestic violence. Because it first ran in spanish it pissed me off and I started blaming the overpopulation of uneducated hotheaded situation resolving idiots for a mess I dont care to contemplate and felt resentful about the ever worsening water quality...but when it was translated into english I was like "Holy Shit. This is it. The holy grail." The statistics with all thei "44% of murders are domestically related". Talking about adults one second, then the same craziness for children...and I thought "that's what soldiers go to war to protect?" The gesture of admitting how full of shit people can be is probably the only hope for peace...and really its past it at this point. By the sheer number of people who have valid reason to resent the US, with a US propaganda machine that only allows an image of the stubborn shallow plastic or obese mindset, always about business American....

I write whatever comes through with the intention of one day coming back to explain what I mean...confusing notes to myself really, designed to be hard to understand so I can edit and obe day present the proper book....and publishing it publicly is either designed to light a fire under me to do so, or to vent on the greatest tool humans have invented yet for finding a kind of peace that allows the innocent to go about their business, while the killers can satisfy their thirst by verbally locking horns....and finding redemption because although sticks and stones can break your bones, sometimes they don't, and the forgiveness is that much more of a feeling of miracle.

Hev you ever been so depressed you can't bother getting yourself some water when your mouth is parched and the sink ic and a clean glass is just feet away?  What I love about Homeland is the way it depicts the lies as the very reason for Carrie's insanity. Lies are little murders and little suicides. The chase scenes mean little to me (although it is all so well done)....but thats all it would have taken for me to have kept my health, and I would have been so wealthy by now if just left alone to go on my way to learn ore and be greater and greater every year at something I was so grateful for, and in love with....I was never so sure of anything in all my 46 six yrs....and these silly adults. Most of them 10 yrs older than me...stood back and allowed the abuse (from the lies) to go one when all they had to do was say "Second hand news isn't my bag..." They made me feel like such an Ogre, so that's why when I see photos of myself Im surprised I look as good and healthy as I do, especially for my age.

I meant to focus on writing about the details of my health so as to communicate to one mother fucking doctor worth the time to help me understand whats happening...I sweat when I pee, my skin is crusty, I have a huge lump on my outer arm that's created a sort of frozen shoulder, with a torso so stiff and dead from the fall Im turning into a tree. This stupid old piece of shit of a man named John something around the corner one day had a fit with his eyes when I said good morning to him while watering flowers next door to him. The previous day he'd been so friendly, helping me stop the super from destroying a bee hive..."What's wrong John?" I begged him to explain, I thought it was Jane related...no clue why he'd soured...But it was Boll's related. "Your suing us! There's nothing wrong with you!" I was so angry. Who does he think he is? Right. Nothing wrong with me you stupid old diaper wearing piece of shit because in your mind you would still do me. Seriously thats how fkn stupid ppl are...I didnt file a lawsuit when I was hurt for months because I didnt want to piss people off...but when I start getting letters in the mail with fines for parking in visitor spots, police at my door at night because of notes they find in my garbage about letters I plane to write (see that by clicking here: http://www.governorpataki.com ) on top of that having to listen to the Bolls plot to kidnap my dog in order to check his tags (that's even on tape motherfuckers) you bet your butt I'll sue your allocating asses. I lost so much time, my body has aged irreversibly. Anyone who knows me knows I used to look at least 10 if not at times 20 years younger...but since I broke my back and hip in the fal Im like the strar trek episode where the old lady ages in fast forward time lapse...fuck you...what a lovely karmically civil way to try to set the record straight. Ive wanted nothing more than to escape from this hell hole since 2006, but while starting my yoga "career" in White Plains the neighbors were keeping me from sleeping at night, ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TELkIeVy8GA ) I would at times be in tears at work from their abuse (Robin Bolls gave a note to the woman trying to break my door down, thats I'd written privately to her and ised the term "welfare mothers" u can hear her talking about it...this is a board member's wife!!!! INSTIGATING violence...TRYING to get these hot headed women to beat me up....then she takes community officer at out annula residents meeting aside to tell him I "call her fat" Im SO not exaggerating ...lies lies lies!!! All fpr what? because I am devoted to getting out of this place? because I am the best neighbor anyone could wish for? She's an elementary school teacher bullshit the SHIT out of me...and even 5 yrs later when she sees a note that says "Dear Studnets of Christ the King" as a reminder to myself to write an essay about this very incident...here I am STILL writing about it....police? At my door?..... Because they think they'll get away with their mental swatting games....

I just got a call from a friend who's gonna give me a break on a massage..try to break up some of the crusty I hope. Her colleague massages Bill Clinton....How small is the world? How lucky have I been? 

Oh wait. Before I forget....for the public record....notes to the author who will write my story if I dont make it or get to see it happen...I was a little shining star at first at Yoga Spa in Elmsford. Loosing 54 pounds stunned everyone silly and they were so happy for me, I was so happy back...all was good...but then Jane Kartsch started calling down there. I answered the phone the forst time, on the day I went from "work study" to paid staff...think about it? With all that shit I had going on at home? Im living on maybe $250 a week and Jane (another "art" school teacher in the bronx, supported by her contractor husband) goes out of her way to bad mouth me why? That was when attitude towards me down there started to change. The summer was touch and go-but I felt secure in the good that was going on. It was when I showed interest in going to Bikram training in Sept 2006 that Jackie turned on me...by thanks giving I was out..nothing had really happened other than Jaquie needing to show her ball sac.....I realize now however that after no contact with Jane since June 2006...thats why she seemed so cold and current...she was poisoning them against me...not sure how...but this is what happened....and for writing about it...not 3 weeks ago she still tries to send police to handcuff me for whatever she can try to spin....I was so happy....10 yrs ago I registered all those bully domain names because I thought the word served to minimize the tediousness of a more complicated problem, with a dash of tongue in cheek, simplifying with a visual of a schoolyard bully in concept...but now that that has been ripped away from me by Ellen and Anderson (who bully with their tv cameras, the media like they're fkn all knowing gods) gotta come up with new words..

Domestic Violence should be defined to include friends on friends and even the minutia  of their lies....I had SO much to offer.

Oh ya. Check this out. My childhood friend who I rode with to pick up Pete a couple weeks ago, got pissed at me for asking him how anyone could be so retarded as to western union $15,000 to a Jamacan named Jimmy Carter......he has sort fo carried a torch for me and since I make it very clear I dont feel that way about him etc....check out what this asshoel texted to me. On top of this he knows what I go thru, always having to try to live down my ruined preceding reputation etc...check out these texts....

The choice of words in the creepiest way reveals his desire for us to hav ebeen a couple. But because he cant have that, he wants to spread the hate...friends family...whats the fkn point.. I mean this same dooshbag had a friend of his tell a guy I was really into that I was his gf....I didnt talk to him for over a year, never expected to again....people are so full of shit....its endless....the pointlessness of the hate that negated SO much love I also got to actually live in my life....

Post Pete

On the way to picking Pete Seeger up thursday night I was told a story about Pete getting beaten up pretty badly, as in a stone to the head years back by some horrible people. While driving to the Stadium (in Garrison) Pete suggested we stay well below the speed limit because of the traffic speed traps he's observed over the years. I asked him if he ever actually got a ticket. He said that Toshi, his wife, got a ticket for going 35mph in a 30mph zone.  Im pretty certain that Pete Seeger doesn't just give an impression of having the patience of a saint, and I can't imagine him exaggerating, so I have no reason not to believe that extraordinary detail, fact.....THAT is harassment.

The truth is my sensibilities have been shaken to the core, when I imagined Pete reading any of my usual bitchy spew on my blogs. Im pretty sure he wouldnt like it at all. After posting previous post, I imagined someone like Jane Kartsch (or Beller) calling someone who knows someone who knows someone, who knows Pete and warning him that Im "bad news" and to keep his distance from the likes of me etc. But it's this chronic irony that is the very source of the spew. The catch 22 that just makes me spew more....Honestly if I were to hang out with Pete on a daily basis, maybe any feeling of dislike would end up being mutual. Although I would always love him Im sure. Its not possible to not like Pete Seeger. After all he's been put through how did he not become full of contempt for our fellow man? It's so certainly not an act...he seems like he has a photographic memory on top of 1000 lifetimes full of regular ones that bring him endless joy...even with a bad back he's chopping wood at the age of 93 looking 20 yrs younger than he is really. It seemed like he had an easier time getting around than me 45 years his junior...this made me realize I really have some serious medical condition eating away at me....and on top of that, not a person on the planet would even notice if I died...it would take the smell of my rotting body for anyone to notice...the realization of this alone takes the depression to a whole new level of course....but the feeling of being full of uric acid, like the bottom of my feet even are swollen so I loose balance every morning I wake up...for almsot 2 yrs now my back/hip still feels broken and I walk like Im over 100 years old sometimes. When I start to get better I over do it and end up on my back for weeks agan...pulling my body deeper into the stagnant pond of death.....like now...sitting still this long leaves me stiff as concrete...it's not easy getting old without a dime to my name Jane...

I wouldn't even know where to begin, or how Id explain my Jane Yoga story to Pete, so we sang instead..and actually I was so happy for a while it made me hopeful...maybe its totally true what it says on his banjo, that that machine really does surround hate and force it to surrender....Im ok believing he's just as amazing and saintlike as he seems, and my life has been as meaningless to everyone else as it was fantastic for me more than once in a while anyway..

Blackballin'

Dear Jane - I fell in love with Pete Seegar when he handed me a pumpkin at senasqua park around 1971, maybe earlier. So many memories take me back to an endless stream of the brilliantly gorgeous childhood memories I got to live..storybook...

until the age of 33when in NYC I had my head bashed in for entering through a subway turnstyle without my token one evening to play music at CBGBs canteen. A venue I helped create. My life destroyed...taking me until 2006 to pull it together and finally get back on the horse and take my gorgeous life back....until I made th emistake of sharing that story with you...so you could use it against me in the most pathetic ways.

Everyone is invited to come catch Pete and I sing next time at the Full Moon Jam at the Stadium in Garrison....we had fun figuring out this wonderful Roli Kiley song (click link) but will have it down next go fer sure. I'll also be doing a few Delores Keane tunes. I'll youtube my new song Dangerous Person which Roseanne Cash has expressed interest...Funny that your imagination conjures up violent scenarios in which you get to handcuff me to feed your banal unconscious hypocritical reasons for lying, while I imagine getting the world to sing together...hopefully a funny song so you'll back off with trying to have me arrested (how many times now over the past 5-6 yrs?) Even from 1000 miles away...I look kinda pretty in these pictures dont I? But dont let them fool you-Im one sickly fat cow these days. I think Im like you now sadly. Thats to say that even if I get to loose the weight again for the 4th time, my aging skin will sag and look like crap anway. like u - no matter what we old gals do...damned if ya \

dearbikram.com

This link is a recording of me and the 2 roommates not getting along during my Bikram Yoga teacher training in Hawaii 2007.  I look absolutely atrocious, it's somewhat hard to follow...in a word it was not intended for an audience type setting. The idea of showing it to anyone other than the Bikram staff didnt even occur to me at teh time. The whole point was to cut thru the LIES. Everyone always has their version of what happened...but in this tape you can hear me calmly, politely, trying to work things out, while first Claire Maarschalk(click) hurls insults (while lounging in her big bed reading the newspaper) at me, and this after only knowing each other barely a few days.

Although It's tedious-the tediousness is the whole point! How is it that I would have ever been accused of threatening her in anyway? That is where Jane comes in...honestly its mind blowing. Even on the second half, when Victoria Goldner (the replacement 3 weeks later) is physically threatening me, she even broke my computer when she slammed the laptop shut while I was studying my anatomy in bed....if just one person were to objectively analyze every word...you would hear the essence of bullying....I called Claire a "cunt" at some point because anyone can hear with their own ears how she was a cunt....but for this one indiscretion, it took on a life of its own...even Victoria told teh staff I called her a cunt when I hadnt....because she knew what to say in order to "win" any favor she could get...tehse are the lies, the games, that seem ridiculously petty...and yet my whole entire life, my chance at creating a fantastic healthy happy future was shot down...what I want to explore is the why, and how often good people have their lives destroyed...and how often people are driven to snap because of thee lies....omg Ive seen it throughout my entire life...to be honest we're all capable of doing it, rationalizing for whatever reason....all I have left is to try to make sense of this and recycle it into making a contribution, to say thank you for my life....with a consciousness that pisses people...only because they THINK they can get away with their lies....Ill figure it out....the world is out of balance and the wrong people are in charge with the money because they lie and kill others to get it....my littel time here on thsi planet will be dedicated to exposing these shit people, within the law, bravely walking the line-because I believe it makes mroe of a difference than people realize....liars are cowards and are missing out.  I have recordings of these girls also apologizing and admitting they were wrong...but I have to live with their damage....even just lasy year I recorded Jack Kartsch talking about the "5 roommates" I had...everything is exaggerated by thee poeple because they have no REAL complaint...so what is the true reason behind Jane Kartsch not only writing the first police report (12/06) but going out of her way to bringing it to the staff's attention in Hawaii? THAT is the question I will spend my life getting an answer for....and explaining why it matters.

SOS: Can I get a Doctor

Number 25 on the endless list of my suddenly failing body symptoms. Bikram would tell you Im dying prematurely because Ive crossed him. What is it like? That false desire to be right when youre simply not?

Its all over my arms and legs, fot years has been getting worse. I pick at it a little, but its so necrotic, not like anything Im used to it feels just plain wrong. My joints seem to be suddenly coming apart too...lump in my arm....all of this after I slipped and couldnt walk for 2 months...I ate bags of valentines day sale chocolates....feel diabetic now...

Oh. Did you see me 5.5 years ago the day of my Bikram Yoga Graduation? Look how dangerous and unhealthy I was?

A Survivor's Guide to the Politics Behind Bikram Yoga Teacher Training

It was like Jane called Hawaii and planted a seed to make everyone of the staff over analyze and question any tiny thing I did. As if the staff ask even my fellow trainees to notice anything "strange" or "dangerous". This would explain why Craig Villani asked me if it was true that I threatened my roommates children...I even recorded a conversation with Claire Maartschalk about what the hell that was about and even she admitted she was surprised by that ...almost EVERYTHING I talk about is somehow recorded....I can prove ANYTHING. That is why Bikram may succeed at killing me in his pathetic cowardice need to shut me up but my words will resonate forever. Fucking pigs, Im Pat Fucking Tillman. Wrong is wrong.

I need to ask Bikram what he thinks is the expected, appropriate way to act when a person looses their chance at having a family, not because of some accident of nature or bad luck in general, but because a yoga master stands by and allows it. When all that was required of him was to do nothing. To stand back and watch the better person grow healthy and strong and prosperous again. Bikram Choudhury is a disappointment because  all he had to do was referee his abusive staff. If he were a real master he could have effortlessly stopped the abuse just by acknowledging the facts vs the bullying that he entertains hmself with.

I remember at training this woman named Maria something something, she claimed from Mexico, was always meeting with Rajashree, as if some crisis of spirit decision about staying or leaving was taking place. As if she had a dying child in the hospital...and if she did...ya Im SO out of line for writing about her...but Im quite certain that was not the case....was it money? Did she give the choudhury's some massive amount of money to cover a few people there? Because they certainly dont need any one person's money especially if they'll require all that extra counseling and  time...wait a minute let me check the files and get her name...all clues as to this seemingly tedious, pointless qurestion turning out to reveal a corruption than cost me the chance of having a child....oh by the way I've started having hot flashes and havent had my period for about 6 mos for the first time in my life....so its official....but even at 46 I was still so healthy and young compared to most, even with a feeling of disease coming on...the yoga helped so much...it restored everything...like a gift from god...my god it made me so happy...so why would these people take it all away so brutally? Leave me at the old age of 51 now, about 6 years later...decaying from the depression and stress of spending these last crucial years FIGHTING with bully yoga teachers....and for writing about it too no less! A cop was at my door just a couple weels ago at the bequest of Jane Kartsch...because I tried to empathize with someone who had been driven out of their job with what sounded like tit for tat police reports..and he was 10 yrs older than me I think....I dont know if he was a psycho...but I speculated for the purpose OF MAKING THINGS BETTER and exposing the REAL problem. The lies first but then worst...the absolute refusal to admit those lies....even when she has stolen ever single last possible shred of hope, of any future whatsoever at this point...all I have before dying from all of this is a keyboard, to bitch about it..and these pieces of shit still wont admit their wrong, still come after me, still are deteriined to turn me into some version of a colorado rifler so they can show their kids the newspapers offical record of the twist they created....so they can "protect" that love, that glorious eternal bond with the infinity of love with their kiddos....and thats why they keep getting away with it too...because most people have that family thing, hat understanding that its normal to change the facts in order to let their little prince and princess think their mommy or daddy is a good person.....Tell your son why you ruined my life Jane Kartsch and maybe one day I'll ask him.  Why, even tho its so obvious how much Im hurting, all these years...why she will never admit that she went OUT OF HER WAY to sabotage my last chance at pulling a successful, lucrative future for myself out of a hat, ruined it all, based on some silly high schoolish need to trump some more attractive girl, who seemed to have more htan she ever would even when broke.

Here Jane take a look at my dying skin...feel free to fantasize about my worsening health, and how hopefully sooner than later I will be dead from chronic Lyme's or cancer or whatever the hell is wrong with me....Go Bikram and Jane!! Bully on.

Oh ya Maria Goroztieta. She pulled this latinas gang towel ranger shit on me a few times, I mostly ignored all of them...until one day I "lost it" and did an impersonation of her female ricky ricardo...everyone laughed it was so spot on...but for this I became known as "racist" by the staff. When another latina gang girl laughed at me while I was on cructhes going up in the elevator, I called her an insensitive hypocrite who didnt deserve to call herself a yofa teacher...but when the story got around to Bikram, he was under the impression I had simply said the word cunt 100 times for no rational reason....why? Because that latina was fucking Sanjay (Bikram's nephew) her name was Beatriz Ramirez from Ibiza Spain. If she wasnt actually fucking him she was hanging all over and kissing him in public....Oh ya it was Sara Halpern from Charlotte NC (allegedly-her semi famous dad is an MD in Jacksonville FL) who actually pushed the Latinas over the edge one morning with that last towel dispute (placed too many inches to right next to Sara-was what it was all about I shit u not)...anyway Sara and Maria made a point of taking BJ (Bikram NYC) aside and saying something to her that had Bikram eyeballing me all night. It was the same day that I'd torn my soleus muscle in BJ's 6am class and was on cructhes for remaining of training...to this day I still have repurcussions from that injury but Beatriz thru her laughter let me know everyone thought I was faking my injury...it was awful...no one even helped me CRAWL to my 24th floor room...the cruelty was beyond measure....in front of 300 people Bikram made fun of a woman with Lupus who's blatter had burst during the training, ambulance was carrying her out on a stretcher while he taunted her, complained that she'd soiled his carpet and how disgusting this was etc...it was shocking....call Simon Goddard to find BJ. Ah so in love they were at the time.

Or better. Maybe someone can subpeona Donald James Leung to hand over his video tapes of our talent show. Where I got in trouble for having nerve enough to take the guitar out of these talentless twits hands and play a song...observe how bad I was? Or maybe better than they wanted to admit...so set on despising me. Here I thought maybe they will like me if I surprise them with a song Jonathan Demme and Capitol Records seemed to like...really? That's considered "dangerous"? Ive begged the little psychopath for a copy of his video for years, but he only gav eit to a few and ignores me ...last week he unfriended me for asking too much I guess...I mean to have this footage of me playing a beautiful song in front of Bikram with hundred of people in the audience-could have heard a needle drop....would shed so much light on what was really happpening. I mean Jospeh Encina's "classical" guitar playing was SO unbelievably bad...as if he'd just bought an Alfred book 1 day before his "performance" and yet because he was such a great yogi...everyone went crazy applauding becaus ethat was what Bikram wanted...omg it was so creepy....if only people took the word "healing" more seriously more sacredly....so much I had to give life back....

This is me now (its all over my arms and legs and have no insurance to do anything about it) NO car tpo get me to a dr if I could even afford....I havent blwon my brains out, and wont, because at least my flawed family underneath all of our separate problems was there for some support...if Id been alone as Jane had hoped....she would have successfully DRIVEN me to kill myself. I truly believe that has always been Jane hope. To get me to jump. Subtle, hard to see....doesnt make it far fetched-jsut means poepel are only capable of caring so much-only so many hrs in a day...and its a messy world out there. Instead of fighting the important battles petty people like Jane and Bikram and all these other asshole Ive mentioned are so about boundless energy poured into hiding their deception....thats whats dangerous...they have the money...thats why the world will see war here soon one day....poor prioritizational skills...and denial..all for what? 

Can I get an editor please? Im too spent to bother editing shit people WANT to misinterpret...but its a story worth putting out there.