...

Monday, April 30, 2012

77? 78? Montauk? Jones? Gilgo?

I can't believe I don't remember when and exactly which beach that leap photo was shot by my dear friend Tracy. I went to a small high school so it's not saying very much when I say no one else in my school could do that with their body...from the age of 16 I had an understanding of and love for the moving body...I remember in the early 80's spastic women with out any natural ability  introduced things like "certification" and licensing as a forum in which they could compete only because their lawyer/professionally over paid spouses could afford to someone how legitimize these people who had no knack for this sort of thing....I was wrong to not take them seriously...as they obviously took over the whole shabang...now healthclub owners are bulemix who are all about the superficial image...thats why the industry is so cut throat...oh...I dont feel like going into this right now...but I was momentarily thrilled by the stats...am I actually being read? Or are spies just hunting and fishing for vulnerabilities to destroy and sabotage my liofe worse than its already been?  I guess my point is look what god gave me and KNOW you will never have the joy Ive known...effortlessly, without even trying..."a natural" pissed on and over because like JOni sings "the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling its the unraveling, and it undoes all the joy that COULD HAVE BEEN"....

IN other words instead of asking me to teach....jealous assholes who simply want you out of the pic-thats what the world has turned into....and look! I can talk about it! It's a great day to be an American....but stupid fckn politicians like Christine Quinn (yesterday or today?) storm off as someone calls Bloomberg "Pharoah Bloomberg"...so what!!! What is insulting about calling someone with a royal title, I mean technically its more of a compliment if taken literally....but these MORONS....who would throw away the  power of free speech....omg.... another brb....I'll try to explain this better later...

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Seriously. News? Lost in Space?

WABC 7 Eyewitness News: "Teenagers are drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk from the high ethyl alcohol content..." It was stunning. It feels like Farenheit 541 mind surgery...and now when I try to blog what I write just disappears thanks to "the new look" blogger needs to flaunt in my face while trying to stay focused as you write, and cook, and stay on track, efficiently juggling a few things....everything is such a mind fuck...children are actually drinking hand sanitizer? Or is that just Bill Beutelle? wtf There must be some connection between the time and attention their parents prefer to spend on screwing me up some new way and and the traumatic loss of another broken relationship. Hand sanitizers. Imagine being the parent of a 12 year old girl who shakes hands with her mouth 12 times a day, and drinks hand sanitizer? Does this behavior actually exist? Or would the media have us despising each other, despising ourselves as part of this space travel?

Same bat channel, a story about a guy using an apple peeler against her cheek then eating the skin. I guess I should turn the TV off. Cynthia McFadden is a goddam bully, with an obsession on sexual subjects, and tonight she is introducing a "Bill" that will shut down some hug aspect of internet freedom...because in her little over salaried world, that's her appointed function. The real story would be about that person who magically makes evaporate any discussion about Ron Paul and whoever writes the same "copy" that all US anchors read verbatime...luckily for them we the people are critical massing on hand sanitizer.

The Dog Bisquit Chapter

You can feel it. It jumps out at you while you're wondering if it's the CIA or the store manager going through a divorce and then it doesn't actually matter...or does it? One day it does. One day it doesn't. The only constant is everyone is full of shit for the most part.
I'm sure it's a good read. Just as I'm sure my body is going to beach itself soon...if dolphins were to beach themselves in New Mexico a few might talk about it for a day or few...barely...Im not going all armageddon, just so overwhelming to see the numbers of people who don't clean up after themselves well populate like an invasion frankly...imagine westchester a week without a stitch of toilet paper or running water? Cheetos prozac and viagara overflowing from the toilets...because it's just where it's all heAded...

Ive felt incredible balance in my endocrine system this month, the start of hot flashes (or the extrememe heat(?) month or so ago ahs all but disappeared since Ive been practcing everyday day more and more. Even after not having my period for about 6 months at all, it's suddenly making up for lost time on Earth Day funny enough...while trying to explain that to someone today I realized how completely mental the healing process is for the most part....

brb

Monday, April 23, 2012

Class Without a Teacher is Not Really Class

Every single time I hear the Bikram CD I either hear something I didnt before, or I hear it with new set of ears. Bikram's is certainly not a voice I feel like hearing these days, and yet it's the only thing that exists, that's available to me to try to practice optimally. All I have to use to try to simulate a daily class situation in order to turn it into a daily routine.....I have always understood the importance of going into a trance to take the hatha practice more deeply into the body, and that's impossible to do if you're talking to yourself about what posture to do next etc....so I use Bikram's voice to at least keep my mind as turned off as possible, and stay on track. I use his timing etc so I can concentrate on feeling, if only abstractly all my aches and pains, try to be with them in order to bring a healing consciousness...just by turning off my mind - but the hardest thing to do.

Someone actually threw this mini lasagna tray BBQ still smoldering in a Dam garbage can last week....

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Old Age Every day could be my last...and you too btw.

Middle of the night while turning, it felt like a knife cutting thru my kidney (Im pretty sure I know about where my kidney's are)...it was like a lightning bolt every time I took a breath. I asked god to not let m ego just yet it hurt that much. Like an explosion inside, upper lower right back just below waste shooting thru from back to middle...because I couldnt breath very well I felt light headed and the pain never went away until about 7 am.

#JaneKartsch


Edward  D. Dowling IV Attorney at Law
Edward D. Dowling IV Attorney at Law | Edward D. Dowling IV
You should hire an attorney and disclose all the details. You could very well get in trouble for false report but an attorney may be able to keep you out of jail.
Answer Applies to: New York
Replied: 3/26/2012

Dear Jane Kartsch


  • When A False Police Report Is Filed

    • Penalties for filing a false police report vary by state and by the type of crime described in the report. In some cases, the filer is only in danger of being charged with a crime if the local police and prosecutor decide to pursue the case and it is later discovered that the report was false. Some states have stricter laws and stiffer penalties, and false filers can be charged with either a misdemeanor or a felony. New York, for example, has three different statutes for filing a false police report.

    What Happens To The Accused Person

    • Being the victim of a false police report could have serious and damaging consequences. Even if the filer confesses, the charges against the person may not be dropped immediately. If a false police report is filed against you, the best thing to do is to hire an attorney as soon as possible to represent you. Your attorney will be able to help you sort through the legal options and offer the expert advice you need.

    If You Have Filed A False Police Report

    • The best thing to do in this situation depends on the circumstances and on the advice of your attorney. It may be best to simply tell the prosecution you have no interest in pursuing a case against the person you have filed the report against. Before you file a false police report against someone out of anger, think twice: there could be serious consequences for you and for the person who will be falsely accused.


Read more: Penalty for Filing a False Police Report | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5422932_penalty-filing-false-police-report.html#ixzz1sjp6qGiu

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Beating of Anastasio Hernandez Rojas Recorded on Cell Phone Video

Even when they die this thug piece of shit mentality is allowed to prevail. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJGI1FR3MPA

This stupidity has nothing to do with racism. So what if my beating seems minor in comparison. The fact that no one does anything for me-is indication of worse to come. I have been BEGGING every single friend, every single family member, every goddam person I meet at this point it seems to come up....but Im looked at as if something is wrong with mend I will curse you all until the day one of you hypocrits admits this. Recently on facebook I can believe how often people who I would hope know me, reduce my rantings to some kind of substance abuse, addict behavior problem. What a jump huh? Im beaten. I almost never even drink-no interest, I never have sex because Ive become such an impoverished ostracized reject...and Im not interested in fkn strangers etc....but these lowly whorish women WANT to see my once shining star on a level with theirs now. THis is one of those aspects of human behavior that is SO heartbreakingly common it makes me sloppy because it's so easily rememdied of poele would just use the brains god gave them. Incapable of recogniziizg the politics behind my plight...I realize this is probably what most people assume....I live in a society where people's frickin children are used to pay rent with bjs....but Im the problem? Really? Obviously NOT the case...Im suddenly fckn so glad I never subjected my kids to such bullshit world of crap....and it will be only if I win the lottery and get to take control...even then Im sure the thin blue line is waiting to do to me one day what they did to this poor man Hernandez.

Donna Mulhall

The photo of me above was taken by Charles Fairfax III from Sydney who also took photos of me doing bikram yoga on the beach es of Cancun in august 1993...previous to that I used to do it on my rooftops in NYC in summertime...you'll note my HB studio classmate Cindy Crawford did her "exercise" video on a rooftop after the fact....I alwasy mention shit like that because I cant believe all the things Ive done in my life, all the places Ive been, all the poeple Ive met...and Im so impoverished and despised for it...if I were rich they might hate me but they would pretend to love me....I guess thats my choice to prefer to know the truth...

Since thats' not her married name-only the people who know will know...check back tomorrow so I can explain to you why I DESPISE Donna B Mulhall because she represents from where we fell apart as stewards of this fantastic sleepy hollow that soon will be no more...welcome new asia....and a much more fine tuned cut throat animal approach to life. Where we laugh at our childhood friend's from our position of marrying rich....I tried to hold out fo rlove lol....and for that I get treated like a whore even tho I virtually never have sex...just because I ended up alone...its quite fascinating really...or at least it used to be when I was trying to figure it all out before it was too late. Sadly its too late. SO fuck you all :)

Did I mention how today I had the police called on me for trying to tell a woman not to let her dog p on the flowers (especially in front of the woman who complains standing right behind her?) Seriously? You WISH i was leaving something out.  She snapped at me to mind my own business and "Go take your meds" which did have me curse her out...but that last thing I PLEADED to her was "Why? What did I ever do to you?" I once cleaned off this woman's car years ago because supposedly someone had grafitied on her car....she and her lobotomoto boyfriend just stood there watching me figure out how to get it off...thats when I realized HE had done it....she's another munchhausen by proxy type....

Funny thing is this woman looks like Jane Kartsch's uglier than ugly twin sister (not kidding) and I think subconsciously I see them as one lol...Jane is capable of murder because of what she did to me, the most sophisticated form of slow financial ruination at a certain point in any aging person's already screwed up life, so easily ends up in the classic gun 2 MY head scenario...or so she wishes...it just amazes me how impossible it would be for her to simply apologize, more than how or why she was allowed to get away with fabricating a police report...I never bother talking about how even though I'd had ZERO contact with her in any way shape or form for 18mos-2 years, pretty much 5 years really but 8 mos after the first police report when she read it for first time, and accused me of "altering it" in an email to Bikram HQ, she filed another police report that was written by a friend of hers obviously...nothing came of it...but again more exagerated lies...oh! I do not mean a second incident, I mean she had the first re - written! And included the description of me using curse words I got in trouble for using at my training....it's too sick...that's why it's beyond courts...it needs Walter Cronkite. TWO!!!! Police reports and I'd had zero contact with her...the ONE email sent on dec 6th that (even) Jane's lawyer acknowledges in letter (posted on my fb) was cc'd to Shelly Kompel at Bikram HQ and others had a slim fine looking me in yoga outfit from the neck down saying "look what I did!!!! I lost 54 pounds!! (how can you do this to me!!!" in an email...yet her LAWYER says because she could only see my FARMY sportsbra and not my face she feared for her life and so just HAD to file a police report in an attempt to take it to the level of restraining order...JUST to piss on my already pissed on name....the yoga had healed me so miraculously an dyet the yoga "teachers" act carelessly, hatefully, with the sensitivity of southwest border patrol on Hernendez Rojas.

Thank you Leon Panetta for today (4/22/12) acknowledging how often people try to have people classified as "crazy" simply to bully them out of their justice....I will have my justice Jane, along with your apology, which I will never accept. God can forgive you if he wants. I just need to forget about you. I look at the cellulite, I feel my hardening of the arteries...it ALL reminds me of you...polar bears dying, 900 dolphins dead, directly or indirectly ALL stem from lying coward pieces of shit like you on the planet. Is your yoga class still as long winded, dialogue-less, horrible timing, zero rhythm, zero empthay, zero ability as it was in '06?

omg! I was cralwing around in the dumpster outside of Mrs Green's a few weeks ago-right near Jane's Bikram Yorktown studio...holy crap...Mrs Green's throws away so much great food...and yet if Jane saw me grabbing food from the dumpster she would cal police and make up some reason to get me in trouble...can you picture it? I'd have been questioned, and if I showed the slightest sign of frustration, or eye rolling etc, and I had a cop having a bad day....wow....that's the society I live in and we pretend their are no jobs...backstabbing, sabotage, rapes at west point....who knew? those girls were classified as all crazy too Jane...It's funny really-I rarely talk about actually having been raped by a man I was working for who slipped pills in my champagne in early 90s....because that doesnt even come close to the rape Jane Kartsch committed on me.

I asked the DA's office to please not let her get away with it. I tried to explain how she'd screwed up a $12,000 yoga training by using the fake report as an example for the Bikram people to see how "dangerous" I was...I have that conversation on tape too. My god I have so many hours of video I need the backing of a major film studio to pay a team of editors to go thru it all and decide which unbelievable shitting on the US Constitution is more entertaining than another...

Practice Makes Imperfect

My body is so inflamed my feet are swollen in pain. I had heart attack feeling thru chest neck and arm, shocking stabbing pain thru gut that's gotten worse since stupid colonoscopy (crime against humanity bs-nothing is meant to go 20 feet inside you lik ethat without risking rupture and air getting into places to CREATE cancer so these idots ca have enough business..doctors are ;like cops actually. No incentive to fight actual crime and in turn themselves out of work, doctors too need a certain numer or victimes too and how lucky for them there are plenty...the question is are they in fact really always sick? We know the answer is no more often than we'd like to acknowledge and yet reality scares poeple so much they prefer the charade.

My practice is just starting to feel like it counts as much as Ive trained myself to remember to believe in these days of mass obesity. I hit 200 pounds again Jane...at my age its almost impossible to care anymore...yet the concrete that sets in from sitting too long hurts-so i plug away...no great expectations. but a tiny glimmer of hope once in a while my sickly body will heal....My eyesight is shot, I was told my urine  showed dehydration last year but they never explained what they meant mo ethan that....because I do drink a shoitload of water everyday... fees liek I have a new headache everyday...my back started to relax for first time around injury this week as I found myself trying to relax somewhat syccessfully...but then the fear of no being able to walk again keeps them tense in a way where my entiure abdomen has dropped into a frckn gut :( Ive never known b4 whie at the same time it feelslike IM having a stroke with this shooting sharp pain thru brain....Im dead within th eyear...so IM living everyday as if its my last...can ya tell?

Friday, April 20, 2012

MARCEL BOBE STILL NEEDS TO EXPLAIN ALONG WITH THE COWARDLY CREW AROUND HER WHO PRETENDED NOT TO HEAR HER VIOLENT OUTBURST

It's on video tape and everyone heard it! Last 9/6/11 at a Peekskill City Schools meeting Marcela Bobe said "I dont care if teachers in Rye get shot! This is Peekskill!" [quote] No one DARED speak up. Why? Ball-less hypocrits were at the time discussing why students get mixed messages! No joke! I called and spoke with the School superintendent's sec day after I heard this and she said "I know!" She was flummoxed by it too! Everyone is afraid of everyone coming after their job! Being fired for pissing off the wrong idiot. THAT is our ONLY real issue. If we want answers? Practicing HONESTY, at least trying, is the only true answer, only thing that will bring true balance. Messy yes! But if we dont take the chance the fallout from all the lies is 1000 times worse. Too many people all at once, too rapidly, no matter color of skin, no matter what country they come from is BAD. So why do we have to keep pretending quality of life is plummeting?There are racist idiots who dont know any better, but between the lines we will find it's almost always about threats to financial security...and this is valid to comp[lain about! But opportunists like Bobe, who envision a better world with artificial life support for dime a dozen people who have no more a "dream" than to one day save up money for the most wasteful shallow life..,pretending every single person has SO much to contribute, loving innocent angels that don't procreate like goats, gimme a break...everyone craps! and there is TOO MUCH CRAP IN OUR ALREADY STRAINED SEWAGE SYSTEM! I've watched MY BIRTHPLACE slowly get turned into a giant sprawl of parking lots for people to toss their used pampers onto. Sometimes with the babies in them...and you want e to keep my mouth shut?

Sunday on some TV show the GP Latina Rep was complaining about "all the poverty in the Hispanic communities" and how irresponsible we all are for letting this happen etc etc....

ENOUGH!!!!

Stupidty, Hypocrits and Liars Rule. Why?

I just wasted my time writing this "comment" in reaction to a "Patch" article about "Westchester Youth Turning April 20th on it's Head" and it was too long...so I will go out on the limb and post my borderline xenophobic rant here (it's not xenophobic as it is concerned about too rapid population growth an the hypocrisy of counterfeit money, Reagan's amnesty of millions of mercenary soldiers from the Iran Contra tragedy etc...It's no accident that the power to grow our own food has been taken away gradually over the years, and as much as Bill Gates would LOVE ya'll to believe his "foundation" slogan "That every SINGLE human on the planet matters" it's ALL a numbers game! Bill Gates bought into Monsanto because his vision is one of billions of minions over which he gets to rule...Educate your lazy ass selves on what Monsanto has done to the American Farmer! Connect the dots (even tho its probably already too late).

Thank God Im not the only one with a sarcastic comment. My heart sunk when I read this ridiculous article and then was restored when I saw my fellow Westchesterians chiming in on the hypocrisy of our politicians ALWAYS catering to the most retarded, the most mediocre, the most full of crap people in our communities.... STOP! Just Say Nothing! Is better than Just Say Safety in Numbers=Power.

 The entire "Partnership for a Drug Free America" campaign from the late 80's early 1990s was sponsored fro the most part by the pharma companies....The same film production companies that made music videos were PAID to make "This is your brain on drugs" etc ads. BUt look at the abuse of those drugs? Not a chance, and why? BECAUSE OF THE POWER OF WHOEVER HAS THE BIG MONEY. I once "temped" for pharma and I was shocked by the amount of time and money they could afford to waste on the most pointless, unnecessary work. They hire the most delusionally mediocre people, who "feel" important because they are so overpaid. In fact pharma has become the epitome of what most people would envision as the classic "drug dealer" only instead of some seedy pimpy character, they hide behind a conservative front. Recently some kids from Mahopac were saying their town was becoming Night of the Living Dead because of prescription drugs in circulation.

I truly believe with all my heart that the propaganda put upon marijuana for all these decades goes hand in hand with individuals ability to farm their own food. In effect fall off the military-oil-industrial complex  band wagon that has the majority of the population believing all that matters is that one has a job-not your place to question the politics of the company you sign your soul over to because you have too many kids etc....my point is basically that although legalization of marijuana IS an answer to ALL our nations financial crisis MORE IMPORTANTLY the idiots who create this bs campaigns using tax payer money no less are the real problem. In other word the LIES are ironically so easily fixed by putting just a little ballsy intelligence out there. The science for example! How many people will put a new born baby in a house with newly polyurethaned floors? Consider the infinite amount of toxins in the air we breath, the chemicals we throw around for the sake of convenience...thing sthat actually require learning new words, terminology, educating one's self...the politicians dont like to "bore" anyone...and they get so much mileage on the "Dare" CRAP to this day....an entire generation brainwashed into a soul-less corporate America...Sounds paranoid to say this maybe, but Monsanto business wouldnt want anyone to get rich from selling "herb" as easily as we sell alchol to each other because then the farmers could stand up against the SPRAWL! OVERPOPULATION is our NUMBER ONE PROBLEM...perhaps too late to do much about it, but when I see 20 hispanic kids get off at ONE bus at a bus stop yesterday, not 1/4 mile from the elementary school in the same town where it used to be safe for me to walk I see a problem for what it is NOT because I am in anyway xenophobic! Like a peaceful gradual invasion on our natural resources is taking place because we're too busy with these cookie cutter bs issues politicians safely discuss as the problems grow...no one can afford to live hear anymore because of the COST of taking responsibility for the rest of the world...if marijuana we're legally traded people from impoverished countries all over could stay home instead of sending billions away etc....last 9/6/11 at a Peekskill City Schools meeting Marcela Bobe said "I dont care if teachers in Rye get shot! This is Peekskill!" QUOTE!!!!!!! No one DARED speak up. Why? Ball-less hypocrits we're discussing why students get mixed messages! THAT is our ONLY real issue. HONESTY bring true balance. 2 many people ALL at once no matter color of skin is BAD. Pretending "pot" is a big deal is the real crime. Gov Cuomo has to appease these idiots for the status quo-2 bad. WAR ON STUPIDITY and BS instead of "drugs". Just Say Know.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Make Time to Waste Time

Watching a fascinating speed poet named jonah lehrer author  of  books I MAG INE and How We Decide in an interview with Chas Rose about how human creativity....and the words rang so true it felt like a total body massage that allowed me to relax somewhat...To accept that sad fact I didnt do any exercise today....noga

The way he used precise medical terminology to talk about the brain and how each location (he only mentioned 2) related to its behavior and name simultaneously made me feel an ability to connect with a feeling of brain chemistry that could change my mood or focus to be more beneficial to my health for example....hard to explain as I don't even remember the name of the part of the brain area in the back of the right hemisphere he mentioned that was so fascinating, where our processing of jokes, comprehension of metaphors etc takes place...but really it was like he was describing prayer, or meditation.

He talked about how there's really no such thing as a new idea, and how old ideas that are the same as new ideas further apart in our evolution. It was so poetic and comforting. To take that time to be quiet observer, searching perhaps and yet we can feel it when we're connected to something greater than just ourselves and know we made the right choice if we're surrendered to another dimension for lack of a better word.

People who are in a relaxed state of mind are much more likely to have creative insight. When we're not relaxed we're consumed by the noise the world, just cant get past it to turn to the quiet voice coming from the back of our head giving us the answer-but most of the time people don't take it as seriously as the counterfeit money that has been designated sacred tool more than food....it's not an overstatement to say people never take the time to listen

Einstein said "Creativity is the residue of wasting time..." or something like that. But our society has turned into one in which we celebrate and empower the most vile people all based on the numbers from bank accts, as if anyone can't connect the obvious dots as we're so mentally and emotionally pasteurized thru our educational system.  But there is a simple fix to be found, and the crazy vast  insurmountable problems we now have in our world far excede the capabilities of what one person can take on alone, he said so then we have to learn to survive together or die alone...

I lno longer have any idea, oh now I remember I was going to talk about how the HHHS art teacher once told me that it was criminal that I emulated Richard Merkin's dog painting....what a society of nazi fascist instinct to hurt one another....brb

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Let's Sell Soap. JK Rowling and the Reality of Magic



How many times have people asked JK Rowling to write their life's story for them? !0,000? 10? A million? Once? Maybe I'm the first?

I only have to imagine the author explaining to all the evil doers in my life, simultaneously that the gig is up....and I'm fine. Everything's gonna be aright...as mu h as it can be now that the final years were asted squanderd...By "the evil ones"? Im talking yoga teachers who kill....but to be able to sit them all the down, all at once, to look at me and explain why, to convince me they realize how pointlessly and cruelly they destroyed my life...this i smy fantasy to regain in a flash some of what I lost...as quickly as possible as I am now at the end of it...5 years ago I didnt realize how much strength I would loose from the physical abuse imposed upon my body by people, at least half a dozen of them severely, oh ya Jackie I didnt forgey about you...just because you're a lawyer Ive avoided like the plague the nonsense you would try to come up with...omg and patricia...(I have Karen on tape patricia describing exactly what she did and the foot massage at yogaspa...anyway fuck you all...

The goal has been to be able to firesecape away and let you all devour each other...not me anymore...but how will that happen? Who knows. How will I remain alive in the face of such dispicable, hypocritical, cowardly lying pice of shit "yoga community:...How many times did I imagine being the westchester monthly, o rthe westchesterpost.com yoga police? Or maybe I am? Watch me sell soap? Tell me if this works-be honest? Oh thats right no one can...so Ill just go on talking to myself...

No shit. I found this soap at Mrs Green. Cant remember the name. They sell it in cheese sized wheels of the most delicious ingredients it feels like a hug. ALl organic, natural, essential oils and herbs and the fragrances bring me to my knees...but most importantly...why Im going on so...my skin condition is all but healed up after about 4-6 weeks...only bought 2 small pieces (its cher)...but it lasts...love it...Will type name in in a bit...along with editing this thing up if IM not stabbed continually in the back by my yoga :teachers: today...over and over...IM late...for my non paying job at the farm..simply because my back is fused together with the scared to ddeath muscles, look IM stuttering....when I do this IM its  a moistake my fingers lingers....gotta go...cant believe what you have done to me...an dthe police have allowed themselves and otherspeople to treat me criminally my entire adult life....why? The war only needs to be on stupidity...this is my little space...me talking to my god...and who are you? Jesus meets elvis's lawyer? a piece of shit what? what do you want? you abuse me an dthen come back looking for what? another slap in the face that makes you want to kill and torture me harder? poeple are ao fckn full of shit. so goddam stupid....so Im gonna go work on that magic trick...

sos

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Lotteree Lotterah

The day i shot this still of my actual local news station (Albany) lottery results was the day i realized how fixed it was. All I can think about today is Paul Karas's response to my proposal that he return for the original price the property his father took from my family in 1984. He rented this property out for the past 30 years. $1000? $3000 per month x 360 equals roughly a million dollars...I suppose taxes for that long probably left him without a huge profit...but thats the thing. Its not about the money, it's about restoring what should not have happened. Picture Jimmy Stewart auctioning off a family's home in 1984 for less money than was paid for it in 1971. I approached Mr Karas in 1994 to ask him what he might consider selling it back to my family (when I was broke yet still optimistic about my hopeful future...what could go wrong? He told me that he had offered my mom the opportunity to rent to own it back. I dont know why I believed him, but I was so angry at my mom for years after I heard that, I finally called her on it and she furiously denied it, insisting Mr Karas had offered no such thing. "Quite the opposite in fact!" she declared.

But this isnt about fighting over anything. The internet makes fighting a thing of the past, and to some degree anyway, the facts are free to speak for themselves. Fact: A family was displaced. Lives were destroyed for what? Because some people play the game of monopoly as if much more obvious hunger games. I like to imagine that Paul has more than he and his family need, and by making one important thing right again in my life, I would instantly have the opportunity to heal my family. So easily Paul and I could work it out. Because the effects of so much counterfeit money in circulation in or society has created a cancer that will probably destroy everyone at this point anyway...If the family that has lived there for years wants to stay let them stay on as long as they need, so for it to be less traumatic...Paul and I would be interviewed on every news station across the country...oh but wait! That's right...too many people would intervene and make sure I would never get such a lucky break. Then it really makes me laugh how these same people will come here looking, wondering how they can keep hurting me further, looking for ammunition they can twist into a story that creates a feeling of security based on me simply not ever fitting in...