Youllied

Ever heard anyone say the words "You'll never work again in this town". Even before Transit Police Officer Deborah Moore stole my life, replacing a bright future with ptsd, Melissa Gilbert instructed a room full of people not to allow me into a screening of a ridiculous pice eof shit movie WE MADE TOGETHER. Aren't words amazing? SO powerful.. Does anyone want to understand Jeremey Johnson to prevent such things from happening?? Then acknowledge false police reprorts and the damage they can do in stopping people from being able to survive in life...The guy was being evicyted, what was he like 68 yrs old they said? Really is it soi hard to find compassion? I want to go to hos funeral actually and pay my respects but the news people toss his story out lige garbade...same old crazy crazy? No! Prevent crime? Why? They WANT more senastion...no desire to fix anything. The man who walked up to a co worker on the street and "blew his brains out". Millions of kids everyday are handed a videogame by their parents that shows soldier and others blowing human brains out for points in whorey cities are stone cold badements..some kind of mind training has been going on. I thought Barry Levinon's movie Toys with Joan Cusak in late 80s(?) was slightly exaggerated .... whatever has been going on...even if Obama is a gift from some totalitarian regime thats been secretly been governing the US for the past 20 yrs (gradually infiltrating-if only mentally)...someone had a video image of some guy with a foreign sounding (Israeli like) name and long curly neard stood before a judge somewhere yesterday, was it the 2nd ave subway? or the yonkers water main break that left 50-70 thousand without water...nice practice run? Stupidity is what gets us killed and I have spent my life trying to not take, follow orders from stupid people in a world where MOST everyone swallows because they have kids maybe I dont know...I only know its going to stop if this is the last day I live on this planet... Ive gone on about Jane Kartsch for the past 5 yrs, so much people are dying to say "If only you puty the energy you use to write about her into finding a job..." Omg...check out the work Ive created for myself, apparently by myself, being fought tooth and nail trying to do ANYTHING since I graduated from college and pretty much immediately started pissing people off...the degree to whoch everuyone has come after me is totally diffenerst...seperate in a way.. But I focus on Jane Kartsch instead of Melissa Gilbert say, because even if Gilbert wields the kind of power, is able to exert a kind of influence that could set me, not up, but down, for life....what Jane did to me, after almost escaping my life of hell...It takes a crazy person? Or it takes a brave person? To admit that I fantasized about doing to Jane Kartsch what that guy did to the other guy in front of Empire State building. Im EXCERCISSING my consitutional right to use words to discuss difficult subjects in a society of COWARDS and LIARS right? Do you see it yet? Im using a 12 year old computer to connect with the internet...with all Im able to do compared to the average asshole, with all the millionaire 11 year olds who use their MacBooks for videogames when theyr enot in a closet gathering dust, I cant even afford to buy an iPad? Its called imbalance..I havent been deliberately trying to embarrass or expose anyone...only the truth that is being strangled out of my life...ya...just like with a sword I want to force it to release the constriction... Obviously I have to be very clear I know better than t die myself for Jane Kartsch's name...so Im aware of the boundries...I dont enjoy thinking about blowing Jane's life away by my own hand, violently...its more of a feeling of release...I only know I didnt create this hell Im passing mu last few uears in...even if I won the lottery, the draining, emotional bottom Ive hit at this late stage in life has taken a toll that has aged me 20 yrs prematurely...a fall I took may have been more to blame than Jane, however I would not have been forced to leave my studio in florida if it weren't for Jane's medling...indirect schmindirect...Jane ended the little bit of opportunity I had left to salvage chance to have my own family period...priceless loss...I mean I also blame 30 people from Bikram to Gilbert, but I have no fantasy about killing them or even wishing them dead by god's hands...Jane I orgasm at the thought of dying any which way...I wasnt born this way. She did it to me...Deborha Moore I never became that fargone because I was still young, confused about what had even happened anyway...sure hated her and could imagine slapping her around or dead from farway accident...think about her dead but no need to actually see her dead...she like the rest just a bunch of idiots...I feel like Dexter Morgan with Jane Kartsch....even if I imagine the face of her kids witnessing her on a soundstage scebe with knives and plastic wrap...I feel nothing...like killing a mosquito really I guess... But before I start sounding "dangerous" like they want me to so one day I will find myself in a heap pile of false police reports no one knows are false, set up to god knows what...Im goin to reach for the light! Actively try to imagine forgiving Jane Karstch to spare my soul anymore darkness...that might only take 100 lifetimes. Please lord my god let Jane Kartsch's soul burn in hell. If Kids "Bully" Adults "Yoully" ? Maybe that doesnt work...but the sentence "You'll never work again in this town" has been spoken a billion times against great people who may have once on a while deserved it...but IM tallying up the loss of all the one's who didnt. WHo were the one's the human race needed to keep the planet from blowing up...all because poeple like Jane Karstch take pleasure in what she did to me...I would do ANYTHING for anyone who can tell me otherwise-that BEFORE all my messy ranting there was an actual event, anything at all that occurred that would drive Jane Kartsch to file a false police report she would then show to Bikram Training AND take the time to call every Bikram studio in Tri State area that Im a dangerous person who should be banned from teaching AND!!!! even from practicing after Id just lost 53 pounds no less... This is how slander works. I did btw get to sit in on the screening of MINE AND MELISSA's movie...but most would assume I didnt, imagine me being hauled away in cuffs...but no...my NY people were just as powerful as her LA mannequins right Ms Jeanne Anzalone (hikids at Bekk Middle SChool in President Clinyon's town?) See what I mean? THAST how slander works...surrouded by greatness, able to do more with computers than most...but I cant afford to do my laundry most days...let alone buy even an iPad when all I have at my fingertips today is the ORIGINAL iBook I maxed a credit cartd out on...couldnt afford to buy stock back then instead (2001) BY DESIGN my life has been saboatged little by little...Ill be back with the fattest, vastiest, pock filled skin wrinkles and droopi nasty ycuk looking self in a photo I will call "BIKRAM YOGA AFTER" The before pic will be looking like Demi Moore in the sun thrwoing my arms up in the air after my training in HI (at the age of 46) and Im supposed to believe and except anyone believing that my "demise" has been by my own "emotional problems" nothin to do with constantly being suttounded by backstabbers taking my financial stability.. fucking looser neighbor says the other daus when I needed a ride "whats it in for me?" Thats what Ive been reduced to...crying shame.

Stealing, Stealing Debt and Now Stealing Debt Clock. Typical 20th Century Republicans

The idea for the clock came during Reagan Bush Era, from New York real estate developer Seymour Durst, The idea for the clock came from New York real estate developer Seymour Durst, who wanted to highlight the rising national debt. In 1989, he sponsored the installation of the first clock, which was erected on 42nd Street close to Times Square. At the time, the national debt remained under $3 trillion but was rising.

Wait!

Eater main breaks affecting 50,000 ppl in Yonkers,2ave subway explosions...infrastructure sabotage...like when I ask some Israeli/portugesi accented doosh who took MY fountain from the top of Dam, tells me to mind my own business, that he's too busy to talk to me (one simple question I asked him! "are u working for the county?" was all I asked) I told him he was an asshole as I drove off and then stopped about 50 yards to talk to a hiker about what she knew about all this mile long trench digging, landmark defacing,ugly giant generator placing...the guy comes running after my car with a pen and paper jotting down my license plate saying he's calling the police. The story doesn't end there but the point is, no matter how apologetic this dooshwads supervisor was, the words "Im calling the police ringing through my ears once again....it's just surreal. It happened when I was young andcattractive and now fat and againg...does this happen to only me? Innocently looking out for a larger picture and int'l mindset wants to imprison me...the irony that ppl come here from more oppressive societies and then you realize that they're bringing the oppression they have in their psyches with them...slowly but surely creating our own little Singapore. People who have lived under some regime say, once they settle in...they still have that mindset in them...backwards definition of good and "bad" ... Why do we pretend most immigrants come here for intellectual pursuit? All about perpetuating the worst most damaging to the planet kinds of work, procreating like cockroaches with souls si have to suck executive dick...omg! Rob! I wrote a sing 205 yrs ago called "Executive Dick" must dig it out...Rob is one of my openly "gay" neighbors who has now gone back to picking the creakiest ppl off Internet to come live w him (for free) the latest is a US soldier (from Nigeria) with a baby being born in CA (one that I heard about) as I write...I over hear this gorilla say "When I saw her putting the plants in the car I Judy knew. I could never live that way" ...so indonr know exactly what he meant but it was some negative judgement about me...from some gigantic Nigerian dude impregnating more welfare drainage because he lives to plant his sperm all over country? They're living 2 weeks now in a tiny 1 bedroom, just met, and the fag who has known me for 11 yrs (u can hear EVERYTHING in each others LI e thru walls and patios here)he tells this guy (who when I met him wanted to fight with mr because I didn't want to kiss him-in front of my neighbors...I'm writing on my phone now so this is too hard to get into....
Bit originally I meant to point out that the news people don't tell tv audience what exactly happened to make 50,900 ppl loose drinkingvwater, instead they use the air time talking to some ignorant housewife feeding her family potatoes from a box, on her best toothless behavior to say ABSOLUTELY NOTHING... Why do they do this? Instead of uncovering the truth about say how Ercolino probably making Jeremy Johnson loose his job with false or exxagerated police reports they talk to uncles who haven't spoken to him since he was 15 in from of funeral homes for effect!!! Opportunities to inform, set records straight as best as possible all wasted for thecsensation...that's the real crime...the dumbing down, the stupifying....

Steve Ercolino. Nice Guy Really?

When someone is murdered no one is allowed to explore hat kind of backstabbing shit, possibly even a liar the victim MAY be. No disrespect to anyone's mourning family, but honestly?
I want to See the Police Report He Pbably Lied In, Destroyed a Man's Reputation, and For Once Really Analyze the Situation. Think about Geetha Angara the lab tech who was pushed into a million gallon tank in Totowa NJ in 2005. Imagine her horror, the slow drowning in an hysterical panic, in the cold darkness , suction of giant pipers....a million times worse than being shot by a gun one could easily argue. But throw a redheaded Batman fanatic surpise summertime show into the mix...people cry but secretly love it...no one "remembers" any victims names unless they're friends or family...it's as if news stories are also designed to target group focus on dumb points. That lead to zero understanding as to what REALLY happened. I wish someon would post their police reports called in against each other. It's not hard to compare details dates and times in order to catch who was lying...a 58 yr old men eating at mcdonalds and being evicted...probably his UI ran out and he was on verge of a lonely homelessness because he was hurt by that police report? But News12 Westchester for example will talk about Ercolino's memorial Facebook page where strangers emote for all the wrong rasons. I could becwrong. Doubt it.
No one knows Geetha's name but everyone knows Octomom. It's not haphazard oraccidental. Take respnsibty is all...and say nothing...it's the liesand bs coverups that make the wro g ppl ruch deciding everyones future based of false I'll motivated claims bedtime-2tiredbrb

Authorities found her body -- along with her clipboard and hand-held radio -- at the bottom of a tank filled with more than a million gallons of water. They say Angara was pushed into the bitter-cold tank by one of 85 colleagues. They say they have narrowed the list of probable perpetrators to eight co-workers, all male.

Torre Labrador Don't Spit on the Floor

I watched some kid beating up on his yellow Lab. I wanted to slap the scrawny little piece of shit acorss the face. I felt like Dexter giving him a chance to assure me this was just an awkwward, isolated incident...something...I took the time, blocking traffic,  with a bad transmission no less...It looked like he was trying to get the dog to either stop fighting, or fight with some tiny little dog behind a fence. The dog turned to look at me. He (balls in tact) looked like a classic goofy sweet lab
teenager...maybe a year old, no more than 18 months...the kid picked him up by the harness and seemed to be jerking him around as if to get him going? Or the kid was having an exocism...his skinny bratt gf was standing their quietly...maybe I embarrassed him and thats why he told me to fuck off when I simply asked hiom "Come on? Tell me how much you really love your dog and you didnt actually juts do what I saw you do?" I had to call someone, who luckily sounded like he was gonna go beat the shit out of the kid....I hope he did and the dog gets saved from some asshole who looks like  he might fuck dogs heads up for a living? Bait Dogs Inc...I bet a million dollars Daniel James is friends with thsi kid....

What are the Chances I Loose My Car and My Computer Within a Coupla Weeks?

Computer blows...and who spends their life rewriting uber practical programs to keep people from writing from phone (I had to figure it out 3 yrs ago, and now it's suddenly grayed out? Only able to type here with large bold font-bets on when that capability is removed? Steve Jobs would not have wanted to sell at Walmart nor would he have needed to ever see news reports declaring "biggest company in world". So big the product craps out and 1000s more hired just to shovel money into toilets. It's called the Chinese model. More energy into killing off layers of freedom in order to keep up with the mess of stupid ugly people procreating, always by accident, or entrapment, like roaches. Sorry folks no more bumble bees but here have these 15 black babies instead. Who needs pairs when you can have slaves to feed with nothing to do. I have to watch what I say not because I'm even remotely racist , but because stupid people listen for anything they can purposely misunderstand in order to have a fight....and now more than ever assasinations by pancreatic cancer et al. Dan Rather I miss you

Computer blows...and who spends their life rewriting uber practical programs to keep people from writing from phone (I had to figure it out 3 yrs ago, and now it's suddenly grayed out? Only able to type here with large bold font-bets on when that capability is removed? Steve Jobs would not have wanted to sell at Walmart nor would he have needed to ever see news reports declaring "biggest company in world". So big the product craps out and 1000s more hired just to sho el money into toilets. It's called the Chinese model. More energy into killing off layers of freedom in order to keep up with the mess of stupid uglr people procreating by accident like roaches. Sorry folks no more bumble bees but here have these 15 black babies instead. Who needs pairs when you can have slaves to feed with nothing to do. I have to watch what I say not because I'm even remotely racist , but because stupid people listen for anything they can purposely misunderstand in order to have a fight....and now more than ever assasinations by pancreatic cancer et al. Dan Rather I miss you

By My Side

What are the chances I would have this specific angle? They really look alike. Amazing (grace?) I dont give a crap about this girl being in buff...Im amazed that if it's who I think it is, this fell into my hands the way it did..just looking for apologies and vindication thru recognition of god's infinite power :)

There's no year on it, but....someone may know who the young girl in painting is? Maybe Peggy is the name of a student of Harari's.

Fuck Prince Harry (All Due Respect) Harari's Painting of Peggy

The titillation in heads of press folk is disturbing...oh! A naked man? Wtf? Its embarrassing...Its not impossible that people could just turn away and be modestly respectful and pretend not to see! But instead you have grown women and men oogling over some young man's body! Poeple are on the streets ready to start blowing each other away over the slightest things, NOT because of job, but because of mispparopriation of monies from republican party (cheney/bush especially-but theyre all actors for whoever has the most money...wonderful german people did it just as Indians and Asians...by taking real american money, hold it in safety deposit boxes take loans out on it then replace it with counterfeit (or leave empty?) and use the load money...Guccione wrote about this in the late 80s in SPIN no? The result is these souless people who speak a different language mating with the soul-less already here...Even if the roof were to cave in on Republian convention in Tampa people would remain daft to the pleas of God, nature and the universe warnings. Even media, anyone who would entertain this sham of a candidate, who is obviously a puppet representative for more war, for more oil business stomping out alternatives....this is a cause worth going to war over...but we have to give up the relativelt good life for such a war...but seriously? Are people who put Romney bumper stickers on their car being paid? I saw my first last week...tried to see the face but they drove too fast...

I thought I wrote about this already...oh ya thats right Daniel James happened...but check this out while also checking out how related everything is...I noticed last week that this painting I rescued from Harari's esate sale (dumpster) in 2005 has the name "Peggy" written on the back. 

 Could it be? I mean it could....right? How amazing would that be? That I have a naked painting of a peggy who possibly could be schleeeeeeper? No way. Too much coincidence to ask for...But when I see my painting of my grown up Peggy (calling the police on me because I told her she could speak freely in from of Mike the Electrician no fucking shit dear FBI take a gd comb thru what these lying pices of shit have been doing to me for the past 5-6 years)...

Omg I just realized it even looks like Sonny Rae (her mom had a poet inside or its an alias) Cover. But it says "Peggy" on the back. Don't misunderstand Im not trying to expose or embarrass anyone for posing for a painting like this...its beautiful art...Im just exploring the real power of art when god speaks thru it it would seem....what are the chances? Leah Quinn is my witness as to where I got this painting and anyone who knows me would know I would have connected this to "my" peggy if I had thought it...but I just now connected a dot (a week ago anyway...) Probably not my Peggy...who for calling the police on me for the sole purpose of REINFORCING JANE KARTSCH's attempts at doing the same (at the most vulnerable time in my life) in 2007 ...her ass is mine to say whatever I need to about the subject. That is the only rememdy...for now.  The day people stop making all important life decisions based on finances....um...have to admit cant see that changing...throughtout history people have tried to kill it, that shallow schmeigel soul....always grows back....consciousness is the best solution....but a fantasy of horrible things happening to these women is still a minor feeling of god's vengeance....lol "church going people" would say its evil to be honest about expressing such feelings even with the hope behind it of really fixing a probelm civilly...theuyre more comfortable with psycho killer news because it better masks their own perverse capability of doing much the same...like one of my neighbors...this will get its own argument as to why gay marraige is such a joke...for years Ive hated his chronic duplicity...I hate when I think I have a friend, start to confide and then you relzie theyre the type to say whatever to whomever on any given moment etc-whatever best suits them by the second...he goes around spending money (former exxon male prositite I think) anyway...he won my trust back a few moneths ago...I went to a couple parties with him (out of sheer boredom really)  and so I was shocked last night over hearing hi talking to this gigantic nigerian soldier who he met thru craiglist (or some un-named site they both mumbled lol) anyway...this guy who told me he's loud and incapable of whispering was whispering to this blockhead last night about me! Loneliness is better than the friendship of a fool.

My Peggy (bullying me and trying to grab my camera out of my hands because I exorcised her.):

 My Peggy Painting:

Just finished watching The Cove.

If only James Holmes instead targeted the egomaniacle Japanese dolphin fisherman (heartless slaughters not unlike Daniel James of Peekskill Coffee House (who has EXACTLY the SAME disrespect for my human life).

For those who haven't seen the doc-the red water is from the slaughter of families of 1000s of Dolphins they kill every September.  These fisherman were offered as much money to leave their boats on the dock but because of their false pride and bullshit "traditions" (so they claim) they prefer to kill...what kind of person enjoys stabbing male female, preganant female dolphins to death? People like Jane Kartsch and Daniel James are 2 examples...putting their energy into stopping someone who would be putting her energy into making a difference...if her life hadnt been financially and so socially destroyed....like Rick O'Barry Says at the end "If we cant fix THIS one small occurrence every year" (involving a handful of lying assholes who would feed mercury tainted fish to their entire countries schools) "...then there really is no hope".

So when you likely hear the news of this years latest slaughter Daniel James-make the connection between human beings at their PETTIEST, lying, pointless, troublemaking ways and all the people who have been the victim of slander...dispalced, misplaced energies in other words....omg I fucking I hate your ass...ps so YOIR ploice report says "used to work of Peekskill Coffee House"? Does that mean they fired your ass? And so I dare you to call the Yorktown police one drunk or opiated night and tell them where exaclt it was I saw you the last time I "keep" harrassing you? Go on try and make something up and see how quickly Ill pull out a receipt or  witness to disprove your lying bullshit....I havent figured out how yet...but you WILL pay Daniel James...

Daniel James' Contradictions Speak VOLUMES

 It's taken a huge bite out of my life financially. Here is the police report I just picked up today of the latest "show" directed by Daniel James of the Peekskill Coffee House at my expense. Along with it a recording of the original 911 call he made where he hysterically cries out for the "need of a retsraining order", about how stalked and harassed he's been by me deliberately creating impression I run into him everyday... "Every time I see her she harasses me.." he cried like a little girl (Ive seen him once in over a year).

Can anyone figure out what they're calling him (so few letters) in the redacted parts?

What I Have to Live WIth?

In last post I was trying to make the point that people used to call the police when someone was in real trouble and there was no other recourse. I can't really be the only one this happens to? People like Daniel James and the other assholes he works with actually calling police for the sole reason of harassing me AND getting away with it...whether old women like Jane Kartsch or young fucktards like Daniel James . That must be his first and middle name?

In 1993 I was naive enough to believe that people would be alarmed that a police woman named Deborah Moore did this to me for riding subway without a $1.25 token. I thought people would get a glimpse of what was to come if they devalued my life this way...ignoring a system obviously run amok if she was allowed to get away with it....Daniel James may not have even been born at the time(?)  I wonder if his parents are also scumbags....evidently they didnt use them enough anyway.

The Delta Shamans

Dear The Delta Shamans-Could we collaborate on a hit song where I sing a letter to a fan of your named Daniel James of the Peekskill Coffee House, who has called police on me as a prank for the last time. He's done it in the past 15 months or so 3 times all together so far, as a joke (I have had ptsd over a sever beating from 23 yrs ago-so because I talk about it online Daniel James and a local group of fascist idiots play this mind game on me for a laugh at my expense way too often...

anyway...all Im really doing is exploring avenues of communication...I know nothing about your music, frankly I am not in the least bit interested in anything this soul-less piece of shit is...no matter how good it may be....as I grapple with how to turn this around...into something good....who can tell me more about this guy? Are his parents rich? Spoiled him? How old is he? A child? A young looking 27 yr old? Is he really part Puerto Rican and "Black" Irish as he told me in Januray of 2011 when I ordered my first Peekskill Coffee House coffee in 7-8 yrs?

Comparing NYC and Westchester in People's Crime Reportin'

Dom bought me coffee at Starbucks today...was kind enough to TRY to understand at least why I'm so obsessed with this latest incident with Daniel James (how indirectly this is connected to Jane Kartsch and Deborah Moore...even harder is when family and friends occasionally accuse me of enjoying playing victim etc...this is where the relief from thoughts of suicide shuts their stupid hateful mouths...but the realization in my old age, that killing myself would turn into an excuse for a celebration w hese ppl makes me rather figure out a way to turn tables...pull a miracle out of my pocket etc

anyway Dom made some comment about rape...and so trying to convince him of my legitimacy I guess, I used shock to shut him up by explaing I had been raped by a man I worked for in 1990...was even hospitalized within about a week (St vincents)...point was/is I blamed myself for taking the pill he gave me...didn't slip it in my drink...couldn't imagine all the questions about my own responsibility...It didn't even occur to me to call police. I didn't even tell anyone for weeks...Lilyan Severnich was the person I told, and she used word rape...thought I was stupid to keep it to myself...but that was the reality. Only time I ever called police in NYC was when a chore wheel happy roommate named Martin threatened to throw my stuff out of the loft because I hadn't been doing my chores. No shit. Nothing about money! Rent was paid. Over chores. So the insanity of his threats and timing (as I was on my way out to a big film screening night etc) had me grab phone and call police-they came (425 Brooke street soho)within matter of a few minutes. Upstairs friends Nancy and Mark would laugh later about the way the cops joked themselves the whole time-they warned asshole Martin he could not do that...and whatever the point was cops were called when relatively SERIOUS situations were occurring...that was then? Now juvenile scumbag mind game players call the police when characters from their videogames beat their scores-seriously? I'm really starting to see how luck I am to not have to swallow any shit as the parent of the next generation of sophisticated liars. As I write computers freeze while at EXACT same moment my basic cable box ($11 per month best deal in town!) shuts off for non payment (even tho it WAS paid)...My computer on the blink AND my car's tranny burning out at same time? Really? WHile Im not working? While my back and hip are even more fucked up from the depression of laying around too long? I dont get out of the house anymore not because of agoraphobia but because there is no gas money...so I SPLURGE on a coffee, driving my car on its last legs...and I need to have Daniel James FURTHER character assasinate me by decree of his boss....really.

Starbux To the Rescue

Maybe not. But I called Starbux to tell them about he Peekskill Coffee House manager making an hysterical scene to purposely embarrass a sad old woman who wanted to ask one simple question of a rude BOY. I tried to get the message through that I would be much obliged for their help, they seemed very responsive. Probably nothing will come of it. But wouldnt it be great? A powerful corportaion standing behind broken me and revealing this slime bag hater for what he is. I feel like a nazi hunter. (Isn't it interesting in that sentence that you can't tell if that means a hunter who is a nazi, or someone who hunts for revenege etc? life is so cheap you start to understand where the killer's mind starts to form...and so when you have people throwing fuel on fires THEY started, to purposely try to drive someone mad "Hopefully this time they'll take you away to funny farm in straight jacket..." I mean imagine wishing not only arrest on someone, but to be mentally tortured by others based on someone not liking you....I will spend the rest of my life explaining why it's worth so much focus.....In a matter of a minute 45 seconds this kid lit up a fake crime scene...where "restraining orders" were asked for, where lies were told to maintain a feeling of urgency and panic that did not exist)

I'm sure this boy is so very sweet and kind and nice to many people....or maybe not? Maybe he's like a 21 jump street narc (it was so weird how comfortably he lit up a cigarette while talking to the cops that he had called in a panic....

Yelling theatre in a fire? Just like calling in a false fire alarm? Or not? Maybe the police enjoy getting to know people this way, gathering their intelligence, to better make judgements about people when everyone in the world is such a goddam self serving liar? Who knows. Choose your pick.

Daniel James rang in a false alarm. If this can be proven in 10 easy questions, at least a fine should be imposed. But police don't want fines imposed because there might be fewer calls, people might buy a turkey on thanksgiving instead of call into their ever increasing (progress) budget. There doesn't have to be bad guys and right guys. No wait. Yes there does have to be right guys. That's the whole point. There are right guys..who need to shine instead of the jealous self absorbed darkness of some delusional soul-less musician...it would be interesting if I ever heard him play music and liked it. Highly doubt it-almost 100% certain he can only be derivative. He really digs these musicians in Westport CT. I was thinking of contacting them to help me record a musical letter to Daniel James (wtf is his real name?) ...

Even this guy-who I at first thought wonderful, starts to sound derivative...because it's all been done when your my age...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXkXRhEnuzQ

Oh ya thats right. Another interesting thing he did. He said like a whiny baby "No! She's like really old! She's an old lady!" Like this was the reason he called because uglly old ladies are SWATted like flies? Like a Monty Python Joke while playing video games with D'Onofrio? Please god let their be a recording of his call in to the Yorktown Police Dept. Almost screaming he raised his voice so, trying to create the impression he was under attack. "Harrassing me"Stalking me", sounding as if he'd just seen me he day before...on a daily regular basis...in a panic...I stood there with my mouth open like "No way. Hes not really doing this to me? God please no dont let this be happening...again..." At a certain point it just becomes obviou sthat this is a running joke with people. I guess in reaction to my posting the first police report from Jane Karstch (see how the stories dont end? Everyone tells me to move on...but for trying to make a statement about how serious it is to slander someone with false police reports, people like Daniel James now entertain themselves...you know what ? I give a shit if he laughs! I can laugh...I CAN move past it...but taht sthe thing-it's never moved past by OTHERS. They constantly bring it down on me...part conspiracy part coincedence....all would say I brought it on myself because they only want to offer so much time to understand the mess made of my life-I dont begrudge anyone for that...its when someoen takes a swing with a smile....my fury

The False Police Report Bill With Daniel James as Poster Child Cuz He's Just So Darn Stylish

Millions of police reports are filed every day in the United States. But what happens when a false police report is filed, both to the filer and to the person accused in the false report, varies according to state and local laws. Before you file a false police report against someone out of anger, think twice: there could be serious consequences for you and for the person who will be falsely accused. Being the victim of a false police report could have serious and damaging consequences. Even if the filer confesses. Penalties for filing a false police report vary by state and by the type of crime described in the report. In some cases, the filer is only in danger of being charged with a crime if the local police and prosecutor decide to pursue the case and it is later discovered that the report was false. Some states have stricter laws and stiffer penalties, and false filers can be charged with either a misdemeanor or a felony. New York, for example, has three different statutes for filing a false police report. Like when someone you know for 25 years gives police impression your'e a stranger...why? See the example of Peggy Grant of Croton on Hudson below. Calling just because they didnt get their way fast enough, without any real fear or danger..calling 911 because you maliciously need to exaggerate a situation to purposely discredit...its rampant...perhaps too gray an area right now to be interesting for the mainstream brain...but in a nutshell...this is the invention Richard Brandson will pay a billion dollars for...tapping into and recycling WASTED human life..

When someone you know for 25 years gives police impression youre a stranger...why?

See? This is the thing...all these people Im writing about here, Peggy, Daniel, Sunny, they ALL know each other and purposely perpetuate this humiliation against me...stopped me to some degree from even being able to teach yoga at some dive joint in Pskill forget about Birkam Yorktown...theyre all connected...THAT is why I have no future here. Perhaps no future at all anymore....and why I will have the last word as to why.

The Science of Measuring Sociopathetic Behavior

I just had a satisfying thought, imagining Louis Freeh's hand on my shoulder with 15 agents behind me, sitting at a table face to face with Daniel James. No one would have to say a word. Daniel James (wtf is his real name?) would sign a statement admitting that he used the yorktown police yesterday afternoon, with as much fear as he had when he played with plastic soldiers on his mom's carpet. For fun. So that he could go laugh about it with a small CONSPIRACY of folks (at this point nationally scattered and probably starting to convene) who have purposely, intentionally made me suffer the consequences of the running joke amongst them. That being where I have police called on me at the drop of a hat as if tongue in cheek...for no other reason but for vengeance, retaliation, or yes just for the enjoyment of a shared joke. Nothing like a good crucification to bring people together.
It's worth getting a subpoena to replay Daniel James' phone conversations from yesterday after the incident approx around 4pm. Worth it to observe the degree of fun and laughter he with his friend share...this local group of 20 somethings who work for one (alias?) Sunny Rae Cover (if its not an alias it would make great literary character name for a children's book). You used to see her image all over, campily posing, vogueing I daresay...but now only this one newspaper article shot exists...She is the force, couple with the likes of Croton's Coffee Housewife Peggy Grant ( http://www.testfiring.com )...Im not trying to look good in these videos. My od. IM trying to capture their abuse so someone will help me...I have to say at least the police do seem to be aware of what they're doing me...and for the first time in my life I feel able to say thank you for that...at least they leave me alone, hopefully sympathetically and not under order (solely?) I dont know anymore...

"Im not the boss. Im just relaying a message!"

But the recording I do have of this phenomenon Ive stumbled into are worthy of everyone's consideration. Wasting my life, simply because I had balls enough to stand up to being under any asshole's thumb for most of my life...how could that get me into trouble? No one could ever, unless they fabricate-and Im sure thats just around the corner-just as Daniel James seemed to be taking it to a next level...like a children's game....recntly in th enews there was some talk about a trend with kids lately, doing this sort of thing...I mean when I tried to get "Walter" at starbucks' help in teaching a CHILD a lesson, the last thing I expected was to come within a breath of being arrested...this kid was SCREAMING about "restraining orders" as if he's playing like a Timberlake or Beirber lol? Omg ? That could be it! THAT is what the world is coming to...and why I will stick my neck out and challenege this shit child's parents on admitting their kid is the one on the verge of insanity....but he'll get away with it because cops usially only care about numbers and stats, as in more calls equal bigger budgets....so we all will make our beds...Ive been making one since this started almost 20 years ago...I will choose god everytime. Fuck the friendship of fools.

Sunny looks really cute and pretty in that shot of her. Unlike the aging methy flesh she's wearing these days...maybe she paid someone to erase all images of her from internet for vanity? Or maybe she's not really from Lincoln Nebraska? I wrote a song called Nebraska in 1994 just before Saugerties Woodstick. Im  going to try to make a video of it now I think and upload it.

Dear Parents of Daniel James-Your hateful, rockstar wannabee child committed a crime yesterday. You all can pretend that my simply WRITING ABOUT IT PUBLICLY is antagonistic, but you know better is your hearts...oh wait! Thats the problem even with the morphed heartlessness humans still thrive, physically...
His facebook page seems to emphasize an image of serious musician his profile pic of himself with closed eyes and a guitar (good knows there just arent enough of them (musicisnas) on the planet. One more self important the the next). Musicians are funny...held in such esteem when famous they can hide the bottom feeder whore of a life mentality more easily...if anyone starts fucking around with my servers again D'onofrio I swear to god Im 51 and ready to go out with this...you will NEVER be the birthday girl.

What is a False Police Report?

Filing a false police report is a crime according to both federal and state laws.  The crime involves a person who knowingly makes a false report to a police officer with the intent to disrupt a criminal investigation.  The person must make the statement to a law enforcement officer or a peace officer in order to be found guilty, and the statement must be material to a criminal investigation.
Any person can file a police report, either at the police station or with an on-duty police officer.  When a police report is filed, an officer will contact the person who filed the report in order to obtain further details.  False police reports can be damaging both for police efforts as well as any person who might be the victim of the false report.
Being charged with filing a false police report is a very serious crime and could lead to other charges such as obstruction of justice.  However, filing a false police report is a different crime from perjury or making a false confession, as these two usually occur only in formal court proceedings or when under investigation for a suspected crime.  

What are the elements for proving the crime of Filing a False Police Report?

In order to be found guilty of the crime of filing a false police report, a state prosecutor must prove the following elements beyond a reasonable doubt:

• The false report or statement was made by the defendant
• The false report was offered in response to legitimate inquiries by a police officer
• The statement addressed a material fact about an offense, incident, or crime within the police officer’s concerns
• The defendant made the statement knowing that it was false
• The defendant made the false report with an intent to deceive, obstruct, or hinder the officer from preventing the crime or apprehending a person in connection with the crime

Of these elements, the most important ones involve the terms “intent” and “knowing”.  That is, the defendant must have knowledge that the report or statements are false.  Also, they must have made the false report with the intention that it lead to an obstruction of police activity.  Thus, a person will not be found guilty if they offer a false statement which they reasonably believed was true.

What are the Consequences of Filing a False Police Report?

Depending on the laws of each individual state, the crime of filing a false police report can result in misdemeanor or felony charges.  Misdemeanors result in jail time of less than one year and may involve some small fines.  A felony charge can result in imprisonment for longer than one year, and may involve heavier monetary fines.
In particular, the crime of filing a false report of terrorism is probably the most serious type of false report, since it deals with national security.  Filing a false report of terrorism can result in a minimum prison sentence of 7 years, up to 20 years maximum even for first-time offenders.  Also, a false report of terrorism may be prosecuted as a violent felony, even if the offender did not actually commit any violent acts.
In addition to criminal penalties, filing a false police report can expose the offender to additional civil lawsuits.  For example, the false report may have caused damage or losses to persons who were named in the report.  In that case, they may seek damages by filing a civil complaint against the offender.

Are there any Defenses to False Police Report charges?

Defenses against false police report charges usually involve the elements mentioned above, especially those regarding “intent” and “knowledge”.  That is, it may be a defense if the defendant lacked the required intent to disrupt criminal investigations, or if they lacked knowledge that the report was false.
Also, any conditions that negate the intention requirement, such as intoxication or insanity may also serve as a defense.  A criminal lawyer may also be able to investigate other possible defenses based on the facts of the case.

Do I Need a Lawyer for charges of Filing a False Police Report?

If you are facing criminal charges for filing a false police report, you may wish to contact a lawyer immediately.  Criminal attorneys often interact regularly with police authorities and are familiar with the laws regulating police reports.  Your criminal lawyer can instruct you on how to proceed with defending against such charges.
Consult a Lawyer - Present Your Case Now!
Last Modified: 03-08-2011 04:29 PM PST

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Daniel James of Peekskill Coffee House

About 15 months ago this asshole gave me a hard time for refusing to pay 50 cents for ice in a drink. When he threatened to "ban" me from the coffee house I started to tell him how ironic it was that I JUST started to come back in after like 10 years (because I'd had some similarly petty bullshit incident with some other trblmaking egomaniacal "barista" then) Before I could get a word out he said "Leave now or I'll call the police." If I was intending to cause "trouble" I would have had my camera out right? I was gonna make a quick point and go, but this dick made a HUGE scene involving TWO POLICE CARS. and I want him charged with the crime of reporting a false incident.

 Anyone who knows me...knows I see red on hearing that sentence-particulalry because it's nothing more than bullying, and in fact borderline criminal too - that is to file a false police report etc. But anyway...so I just left and never intended to go back. That is until Darby a boss/yoga bizz partner invited me into the coffee house to hear her friend Joe play one sunday afternoon...I told her "Well you know what happened with Daniel a couple months back, so I guess I could try. Worse thing is they might tell me to leave-so Ill leave....I was there for about 30 mins and it all seemed to be ok...until I got up to go talk to Jeremy Tracy's little brother on other side of room. Randy Sharpe of PCH walked right up interrupting my conversation with someone Id not seen in like 20+ yrs and...well thats why I uploaded it...to http://www.bullyofthemonth.com ...click on pictures to see the "call the police" game they play with me....Randy about 18 months before that had come up to me at a table to tell me my crack was showing in my pants (witness Madeline DeVivo) ALWAYS trying to get a rise out of me. I always tried to ignore them...

Keep in mind this asshole Daniel gave me a hard time because I didn't have an extra 50 cents for ice over a year ago...like 15 months ago to be exact. He threatened me with police then....

So as I was driving away from Starbucks Yorktown yesterday I was surprised to see him. Ive gone in there for years and years and have never seen him there before-as a matter of fact I didn't recognize him at first. I thought twice about saying anything which was why I was driving away anyhow.  So when I looked at him on driving out I couldn't ignore his snotty gesture, I had to ask him why. Why!? So I got out of car and walked to talk to him at his little patio table on other side of iron fence.  I left my car running with my dog there...not intending to be more than 2 minutes.....Improvising,  I said "Have you met my brother the chief of police?" Attempting to be somewhat lighthearted about making my little point, I expected the nice old santa claus looking man to back me up and play along so as to teach this doosh a lesson...when this kid (mid twenties?) stands up, grabs his phone and within a minute is demanding to police on other end he get a restraining order against me-making up stories about how Im stalking him etc etc...ok have to upload now before I loose this hopefully will be able to continue and edit after-this is going to be my focus for a while. I want this kid to be the first person actually CHARGED with trying to file a false report with the police.

Emergency Dog Food Recipes

Yesterday Pavlov got garbonzo beans and a carrot. This morning I gave him half a cup of greek yogurt with oatmeal AND a carrot....I'll buy some bananas later thanks to a friend lendingme some money :)...and my dog will outlive your dog anyday...the sodium granted is a bit high maybe (120mg per cup) and the sugar is pretty high(never bothered to look for myself-so good to know) but its all good for now...spaghetti also works...thanks to Mrs Mahoney for taking my mind out of the square boz of dog fooding from the age of 14..

Inflammationkill

ABout 19 years ago, I started to notice that I  had a strong sense about the feeling of inflammation occurring even if I only ate a small amount of certain foods....I remember thinking my friend Tracy was the perfect person to help me articulate this personal discovery...I don't remember anyone mainstream talking about medical knowledge other than dieting, and so certainly don't remember anyone talking about connection between heart disease andn inflammation....so I was all caught up in trying to isolate, or observe, really in fact, allergy also I guess...I don't know..thats the thing...I didnt even have the word "inflammation" in mind-but THE perfect description of what I felt when my body seemed to start gradually blowing up....it had nothing to do with hunger...always about just feeling desperately alone, disconnected and food was the sweetest boyfriend....but as usual brutal in the end...via pending diabetes or morbid obesity....Instead of killing myself I take solace in trying to figure out what I did to be so disconnected from what my life should have been. The anger comes from knowing how petty, deceitful, pointless the destruction, the sabotage, the general hate didnt have to be...didnt have to be that way...

Anyway this is about communication in general...not just my whiny insecurity....this was a "friend" from the age of 10. Our mothers didnt like each other, but mine only once pointed out a complaint or two...I learned later Tracy was pretty much trained to hate, resent, it was like her mom probably talked so much about what a snob she thought my mother was Tracy gradually, subconsciously started seeing me as a prissy type I think, she would often make fun...but we all made fun of each other and laughed just as hard, harder...or so I thought..I dont know at what point she stopped taking me seriously exactly, but I foolishly wasted my breath opening up to a girl who was just laughing about me behind my back....I dont know for how many years...so all of my "scientific discovery conversations" werent connecting with that other tree in the forest....a lot like a guy who just uses a woman for pieces at a time I guess...

I have lost everything...and now my desire to endure, put on a front, while th ebody physically startes to crap out you realize...its coming...the day....and when I die, when Im gone. There'll be one child born in this world to carry on to carry on....(disclaimer. This is not a suicide note. Its dangerous to talk about death too muvh as it upsets people and makes them want to kill you, and lie to get away with it...surrounded by money, surrounded by killers in a world thats lost its way....
But more than just the effects of inflammation on the physical body...I was also obsessed with understanding how that affected, effected both my emotional stae, my energy/mood level interconnected....My "friend" was too busy hating me and she would argue probably that I was too self obsessed to notice...actually she would just agree in order to stick me with her witcy smile...a smile I used to see as just a laugh...but now it all makes sense...this same woman I BEGGED to be a partner in a yoga pilates type studio after the first time I saw such a place open up in Woodstock. I'd seen it start to happen in manhattan, and by "it" I mean phenominal effect on friends I saw daily's physical body...anyway....Im almost forcing myself to bother typing rihgt now...all so pointless when met with so much chronic hatred....fuk you Tracy...and all mother's who freak out while feeding their babies slop, to pigheaded to see the simplifying bigger picture....because that would mean letting go of the years of hate as a habit, towards me....now I sound like an asshole only because...its all I have...cant help it....

Desmond Tutu, peace activists call for NBC to ax 'Stars Earn Stripes'

Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the other Nobel laureates protested Monday in an open letter that the show glorifies war and armed violence.  A letter was sent to NBC boss Robert Greenblatt and others connected with the show Stars Earn Stripes. It declares “preparing for war is neither amusing nor entertaining.” It calls for NBC to stop airing the series. NBC is defending its new series “Stars Earn Stripes” after nine Nobel Peace Prize winners complained the show treats military maneuvers like athletic events. NBC says the show isn’t “a glorification of war, but a glorification of service.”   The series premiered Monday night. It pairs celebrity participants with U.S. military personnel for simulated military challenges.

People Giving up Pets Claiming They Can't Afford Pet food?

Bullshit! So you wash of the salt from a can of garbanzo beans the best you can, balance it out with fresh produce like carrot...my dog will even eat a raw sweet potatoe...because he's well taken care of, loved is the word, more than probably most vets in the county....its common sense a little research so you dont give them anything toxic to their systems (not so sure I believe half the crap I read anyway)...My pup is over 10 years old now...and so there is no excuse...Anyone who would give their older pet, in fact blindly euthanizing them probably is so full of shit-it needs to be said. Saw some news story about "hard times" affecting the shelters more and more with abandoned dogs owners can no longer afford to feed...thats a load of crap. There is always something...$2.14 for 1lb of gGreek yogurt in shop n stop would feed them for 3 days...spaghetti? Why not! Its better than breaking their hearts and pretending they have more than a 50/50 chance of someone else adopting them at that point in their lives. Probably better than most of the commercial dogfood we prtend isn't slowly killing them and making vets rich.......people are so stupid sometimes...too lazy...dont really love their animals...dont even love the,selves...

Lunch with Mom

I need to write a love letter to the Chef at Table 9. My mom took me out to a late sunday lunch and I had the most delicious salad I cant stop thinking about. If only I could afford to eat this way everyday.......although the arugula was left out and it was only a bed of spinach, I got the "Arugula, Spinach, Beets, Goats Cheese Vinaigrette..and I asked for walnuts on top....It was so delicious (a week ago now) I havent stopped thinking about it. It was ENORMOUS and yet it only cost $7.99. I thought I needed some protein so got a cheesburger with fries...not bad at all, a great display with the cute little french fries in a mini fyer basket....Wish I took a pic of the salad...It was piled up like 10 inches high and had this sculpture of julianed beets stacked up on top...it was a work of art...If I could afford to eat that for lunch and dinner 2-3 times a day for 2 weeks I would loose so much weight easily....probably feel so much better....but money determines these things more than anyone likes ot admit...its not about will power when death is knocking...

If Everyone Lives The Western Model Lifestyle the Planet Will Be Doomed

Republicans refuse to admit that Solyndra was so much more than a less than perfect business investment. That it's vitally important solutions to coming energy crisis be found. This was why they tried to stop people from seeing the movie Batman by scaring them with a shooting, because it was using Romney's name as the evil that didnt care about the patience needed...while we pretend it's ok horny Nigerians and Central Americans pretend to give a shit about their abundant offspirng (sorry but Im temporarily living next door to Idi Amin Jr who (to my surprise) is an employee of the US miloitary...what a disgusting piece of shit human being...so sorry he happens to be black...not my problem. Not my fault. Correction it has been MADE my problem by carelessly gun slinging military pieces of shit of all colors.

Most Americans don't have any idea that we still burn coal, they think it went out with top hats and corsettes. Because they don't see it. They don't think about what really goes on behind the light switch. I just learned from a great Frontline episode called HEAT, that it tales a pound of coal to power a TV for 4.5 hours, another pound to power a bedside light for 2 evenings. The average American household uses 9.5 tons of coal every year. 52% of all electricity consumed by Americans comes from coal. Its referred to as base load power, always available, unlike solar or wind.

Green Planet Statement

Im guessing it was a design meant to psychologically transcend matching any one country's uniform...I first thought it was just an extra psychological touch by Lauren...but it's Nike I guess right? Looks like the fastest runners, whatever country, choosing a MtDew, astronaut piss color sneaker that even the gymnasts and swimmers wear...because? They're that great? That light? That supportive? Cant wait to try a pair on. After I find money for other thing sI found myself needing today. Like the ability to buy myself an onion, dish soap, do my laundry...Imagine? This is my joke...am I allowe to copyright (2012) some other photog's photo with my extra touch? Copyright 2012

Killing to ReDirect Cashflow

When you contemplate how many people act like theyre capable of murder, for the lowliest reasons...you realize why people are so defensive, so easily exorcised...so many that when they create these hunger games like news stories, canned life of criminal entertainment...CO AZ CO....seems like code...like a riddle? People are so full of shit they dont even realize not only is it ok to admit what anger is brewing inside, it's necessary....because when millions start doing it simultaneously, a who entire other world will be taking place....transitioning? natural? maybe. Now I want FUCK YOU engraved on my tombstone. I think.

Or forget about murder. The millions of little things people go to great lengths to make disappear...What would you do if you heard through a small town village grapevine that your middle school aged kids all had a (popular) substitute teacher who was an old high school flames of your husband?  I guarantee if not directly coming up with some way to sabotage, or destroy the reminder's career with your tax money, at least one derogatory word through the channels to be a part of a holy reem....this actually happened to me...but there were kids from so many diffenrent parents who hated me, it could have been anyone who eventually had me sacked.... "CYOA" warned Mrs What's her name...I guess she meant well...but what kind of people partakes in such a system in the name of children no less...where ppl have to build on a foundation of lies.....?

Poverty is a direct result of careless, senseless stupidity...poeple who think they want wealth but dont know what theuyre doing and spend their fortunes on fortresses to protect that lie....its a requitement...and theyre damn good at it...so good only they would ever know if they decided to surrender...as god expects it to be....natural? All natural?

Joe and the Japanese

I think I may have happened on a way to explain why making a fool of myself has been "worth it". Since people so love to connect their good deed to "helping" children...omg the cliche I detest most...

This kid Joe. Such a strange situation. His mom was nice as could be to me. Desperate to find someone to babysit for her monster. I want to believe this woman is as sweet and kind, as she may occasionally seem troubled...no judgements...this  I think is the story worth telling, and how my life matters more than everyone's sabotage has been so far....and how "the children suffer". Im only going to ingratiate because it's worth it as much as this child .... if I had to describe him in one sentence, if you could imagine a 10 year old kid the size of small man, drugged out of his mind because this was what "the system" was telling her to do...they threaten to withhold monies if direct orders are not followed etc...thereby empowering and enriching the one's who made poeple poor in the first place....they've successfully redefined the word "cheater" to mean a desperate, sexy blonde mother who's look bother them because they are so rejected emotionally, still as an adult they will play crucifixtion with innocent women with children...what was thay movie...Ray Fines...constant gardner...exactly the same principal...

Anyway so the original point of writing about Joe was to bear witnes to a social scientific observation of...this kid was OBSESSED with Japanese cartoons...although on drugs....he was still honest...maybe he imagined it I dont know...but he tried to explain a few times what was happening in his brain...and once described it as a kind of siren (I cant remember hos exact words) but I took it to mean , by the expression on his face, that he was saying "please make it stop". The subtext of this kids life...actually this single woman, living alone, breathing in the fumes of a copy shop.....if people are going to call it welfare they should simply realize a blind faith system would at leats be less evil than the created super power of bullshit education...black hearts lookig for a salary and a position they can tolerate....to be fair indivudals dont mean to end up the way the system turns its people into threatened robots...its so bad it polices itself...neighbors wasting each other's time with the pettiest of shit...THAT is what people like my neighbors and Jane Kartsch have redefined american...unconscious.

ANyway the kid was picking up on the power being generated thru the technology .... ie since i got this laptop, my period has just stopped....almost every time I talk to apple they remond me "it is not a laptop. DO NOT leave it on your lap!" But the stiff back wins out everytime...someone it ...for example right now it is on my knees 5 inches away from my crotch and breasts....these things kill...they've eatened away my eyesight prematurely...but I gave that up desperately trying to send a message in a bottle from remote catskill moutains! STill left up there to die and be abused by a bunch of bored..anyway...Joe.

I felt so bad to leave them...but when I think about Joe wrestling with the bus monitors and ripping the 2 way radio out of it's cord....I dont think Ive ever seen an adult fight like that...someone he was restrained by 3-4 people, while I talked him down....and he came inside the house with me...as if everything was ok....it was when he started to become cruel towards me, I found myself stooping to his level I realized it was time to get out...I'd burned out. His mom enjoyed a glass of wine I think once in a while, but was always with him ajust a couple hours after school....totally normal...I think I once had to have him stay at my apt overnight and I never took an eye off my cats. I swear he would have killed them in .... actually .....how unfair is that of me right? He didnt. and I think it was actually like a short fun camping trip feeling of everything was alright....so good for Joe....always wished him...omg I even let my camera run in a cartrip with him once when we were singing along with some Weird AL Yankovich song...laughing hysterically...I swear a truly unforgettable joyoud moment...this kid was so special...so smart and troubled at the same time, the drugs were ruining his little forming brain....I am ashamed to say I made sure to gibe him the pills at prescribed times as I was being paid to do....would I dare confess that once forgotten I felt like I had saved a few brain cells? Imagine how quickly someone might investigate a mistatement as some kind of crime against a child...."the system" is made up of black hearted people, so bored and misreable in their own lives....few even realize it's happening...

I dont remember cops being involved, but when I think back to the bus in front of his house incident...I cant believe the bus monitor he was punching out didnt call cops....fuzzy on memories there..but to mae my point I have to say Im sure the cops knew about Joe...ok I have to tie this point up-something to do with the way this guy I was seeing at the time, who knew about Joe, we had a funny psycho name for him (sorry Joe but it was intense for me-comic relief I guess-dont take it wrong way). We would laugh it off, ponder remedy...anyway when the guy dumped me in the most brutally cruel way, and I resorted to burning up his phone...he decided to call the local police and say I was harrassing him....but he claimed he didnt know my telephone number and only that I lived in that town (I gew up in Croton with this dick)...anyway....so the cops not only found me seemingly without even lifting a finger, through Joey, they left a message on his mom's answering machine! Luckily Joey's mom didnt even question me about it I thought...nothing much anyway other than some guy telling me "David Demarest has called us to say you are harrassing him by calling too many times" so please stop, but now I realize the degree to which we're watched when we live with very little cashflow....poverty has become a business and a passtime...Demarest, with his fucking TWO homes in Croton and Hamptons....BULLYING with as little effort as he takes to wipe the tip of his penis while he sits down to pee...he has the money, he's connected enough that he points the laser of the system on women and children withoiut money...this was 2000-2001 just before...and I will continue to point out to my dying day, that I sent him an email, still have it digitally...where I likened that kind of abuse as something that would soon end up with shutting down access to the upper dam and how anyone could wear those orange vests and set up shop to sabotage and destroy...because well educated gentle people have been reduced to wrestling over bacci scores....brb

I want to hear one day that Joe has a full life and many happy memories. "Nice being poor with ya for a while Joey! Now I understand the rage inside you, struggling with a natural calling to slaughter....". Poeple want to pretend slapping a label b4 sweeping under rug, everytime some idiot actually goes out and hurts innocent people...but the disservice the media gives....clueless about how to engage in discussion , real discussion with a need to understand....there are plenty of ways to do that without treating it like an empowering circus for the killer...Im excercing that VITAL NEED in a society that's so afraid, of its own shadow.....its all dying around us....see how youve killed me off Nancy? Neither of us realized entire south american countries would flood thru...or did you? When did you start counting your millions? As heads? Just like David yoru brother became a billionaire "head hunter"? Americans have fucked themselves. Time to start self deprecating a lot more....if it's not too late anyway...just see it for what it is....that in itself can generate miraculous resultat.

ps afterthought... I have to take a second here, to amaze myself ...I even have a copy of that police message on Rae's phone....and myself calling them back...every day...something crazy would happen to me...totally alice in wonderland....but when I look back...it seems methodical the way this increasingly, more and more a police state world we're creating creates its own problems....my new friend wendy...I dont know the whole story perhaps....but to watch a well paid lawyer and a siting local judge force her to have to keep taking $117 trains every 2 weeks as punishment, to stand before them and explain why she cant pay a $253 fine.....its insanity.....we control each other through our bank accounts....I want to at least expose the misplaced cruelty...the injustice....I heard about some documentary some kid made where he travels across country without anymoney...naive to the relziation that ist diffenrent when your young, and your ebeing prodcused by Craiglist and The Hangover producers....even if he doesnt have the cash in pocket, he isnt where hes trying to claim hes coming from....thats not how it works...just like Barbara Erenrich(sp?) Nickel and Dimed bullshit....its like AL Roker trying out figure skating for the first time for the TV audence to laugh....exactly that and little more....so misleading....thats why documenting 100s-1000s of hours of my life while going thru all of this crap dumped on me...is worthy of funding, support...instead I just get my own brother yelling in the streets "Ill call the cops!" Seriously? Poeple are not just afraid of the truth they are mortified by it....Im demonized, people think they know me when we've never met because word gets artificially sent around by the ones with the most to be ashamed of depserately trying to to discredit me.....brb

Death Looming

When I think about all the people in my life who have wished me dead my head spins. The reality is it will come, and at this point all my energy should probably just be focused on preventing it happening in a way that would haunt me with regret..regrets. Maybe Ive become too fascinated with the game I've played, the results of which too much to accept for one person...what did I do wrong? I've welcomed everyone's hatred, actually that is what Ive been fascinated by. That people who Ive shared good times with, or shared a word, or shared food, shared a momentary experience and maybe a smile or a curse word...I know I have never intentionally done anything to hurt anyone ever.  That knowledge is what makes me smug...a kind of righteousness with god. To walk a line, perhaps with the challenging mouth of a truck driver or Bronx prostitute...always just words...always chosen carefully, hoping the person might get it....but no one ever did....

A lovely life as we knew it has basically been sold out from under us. While many kept sbusy blaming Reagan and Nixon, Rockefeller, for the international invasion....the rapid destruction of a delicate eco system all for what? Ss Nancy Kennedy could send multiple children to college? 

I called Nancy Kennedy, on the verge of homelessness, sick with an ulcer from Jeanne Anzalone's house in 1990ish...they nursed me on fennel seeds to try to calm my stomach (hospitalized with violent vommitting and debilitating stomach pain that stopped me from breathing soon after....anyway, I telephoned Nancy after (accidentally) reading this horrible New York Times article about the future of our little village....because the article was about real estate and our future sprawl, the destruction of our bird santcuary to McMansions could be built....I'll never forget the way Nancy certainly knew what I was talking about, but she changed the subject to low income family housing (this is how "democrats" are exactly what we accuse republicans of being..." In retrospect I remember another speech by (lady she bought the agency from) about low income housing at the bottom of Mt Airy in 1993...it just shows how they were planning their own enron meets whitewater-meets whatever you wanna call greed....I just went googling "Nancy Kennedy P (first initial of lady's last name) and I happened upon this page about the Longueview castle...for sale...so obviously Nancy left some kind of footprint? Anyway it was certainly strange that the stroies we'd heard as children about Gloria Swanson's parties on Nordica Dr somehow seemed to be turned into a castle she was trying to sell in 2005? Asking 2-3 million....written without a name attached...dropping hollywood names and stories about speakeasies...I'd never heard this part....makes you wonder how many real estate agents have written and rewritten the important historical landmarks....why we're all so of course...no one has the nerve.  It sounds ridiculous to even wonder for a second if someone had poisoned me in 1990...the lies people tell so much deeper than the oceans.....good people get called "crazy" so that the evil ones can pretend to rule. "progress" as in entire countries now feeding on our delicately balanced/now out of balance natural resources...we need to build a new Tappan Zee because Nancy Kennedy, and 100s, millions just like her, lined their pockets with the profit from the greedy sprawl...the OVERPOPULATION problem doesnt need to be discussed as terroristic, unless youre censoring. No one dared point out that at least on some level, it is natural for a race to try to protect it's own kind...just because the arguments they try to make preposterous or worse, this doesnt negate the fact that the same behavior comes from ALL walks...is it not natural for a people to sense that their economy is being invaded? (at this point consider that accomplished). It is cheaper to send a "moneygram" internationally than domestic at Walmsrt by $2...it only costs $9 to send how much?  ANyone stupid enough to say I sound xenophobic while a $5 toll suddenly turns into $14 with some bullshit about communter discounts-as if the more tortured a commuter you are they will encourage more from tou  for ...its insanity!!! These peopel call me crazy because I can tell teh stories. I can expose their greediness...republican and democrat alike....there is no more party! The party is over...kaput...and no one knows what to replace it with...as if the founding fathers longviewed for a towel of babel. fuck you all. No I tale that back youre already fucked. How dare you. Thats what I want to say I guess...those can be my last words...I always sort of felt like we lived in the village of the fairies in Lord of the Rings....Imagine a little Jean Benet Ramsy in a chanel suit handing out paperwork to buyers...thats Nancy Kennedy....Thats why my life has been sucked dry financially because I would rather be dead than be Nancy Kennedy...I guess Ill get my wish

Its a good thing we didnt grow up to be more farmlike? Good thing Nancy your children will be ob=ver seeing Tracey's children building iPhones, for dollars a 12 hour day....because all that matters is money they would have you believe.

On behalf of a friend who is being put through the mill tomorrow I called a town court clerk to ask what could be done to help this woman who is such a victim of circumstance....I guess I'd always wished someone would have done that for me...naively....but thats what motivated me I suppose....Im going to write about that later....how this brilliant woman, with only one functioning arm no less, who works her ass off, who lives in this hellhole apt:

Got pulled over because when you drive the distances she has to to try to make a living one gets tired...I wasnt there but she swerved a bit and it was discovered her insurance hadnt been paid because of a PetCo pay card glitch she told me....long and short of it: she has had to spend money on expensive train ride 3-4 times from Buffalo area back to westchester...anyway...I dont know the details, I only know the system is so unfairly stacked against the vulnerable....the clerk tried to be kind, at least explained that when the fine came thru it could be paid in installments...anyway at the end of our conversation she comfortably said "It's important to remember that money isn't everything" and I replied "Only people who have money say that."

Transmission Impossible

Eventually the internet will be so totally policed, so totally ruined, more and more run by deceptionists with software to sell at any cost, it will be a drag just like all the other work and slavery pass times we've come to behold as normal daily life...the Benjamin Franklin quote "Those who would give up freedom for a little security deserve neither" applies well....online used to feel like wild west...but more and more it feels like it has its own version of CDC, testing disease and virus on the public , so Bill Gates can go play Mother Teresa in Africa and sell Microsoft as if he's some great mind turned philanthropist...the deception is so chronic....people barely notice it...and in fact everyone becomes a little more themselves guilty...impossible to take a stand against it...everytime I find a free new way, someone else wants to put gates up, sell tickets, or shut it down....no fun anymore.

Aressted for Slander? Don't Laugh. Lots of Morons Fight to Make that the Reality

I thought of him as a peace loving crazy funny hippy in high school...but others thought of him as Most Likely to be turned into James Holmes....I was sort of a prom queen....and now the roles are reversed...thats is to say what Curt Cobain says may be true...but I try not to worry about it...But seriously, he's perhaps less that than I am the Holmes reference....and if James Holmes for whatever crazy reason might be found to be innocent I apologize....but assuming he did what the TV says he did...watch how it is done? See my perpetual SOS? Now? Then? Every fckn day? Look at how people treat me? This is a simple result of not having money and people should be ashamed of themselves....ALl I do is flow with thing sthe best I can powerlessly! Without ANY money most of the time! I cant afford to do my own laundry! I have to go to my mothers or to a friends! I have to decide between toilet paper or gas...to drive where? The last time I talked to social service for help, I called her a cunt, and after she hung up on me called back to hear her answer the phone "Hello Miss Cunt Speaking" everyone in the background laughing...actually it was pretty funny...I hav ethat on tape Sam...you dont see it all put together as an award winning documentary? Hanging with Branjolina? No? Oh thats right its easiet for you to see me NOT being able to stack wood for yoru delusional ass? I need help? Ya I do. And Ive been abused for asking fro my entire adult life. Even the snap shots are being held back from me (almost 20 minutes now stopped from being able to recieve my email) so IM blabbering on taher than just letting the pics speak for themslves...

Its like just because people can't admit when theyre wrong...EVen if I make them look good, even if I give them an alibi...they want to be the ones to...to...I dont know what it is...what I heard recently Einstein wrote, about an eternal waste of time it might be to try to change anyone's mind...cant remember exactly...but Im just amazed...that I could stand  in front of a dear childhood memory an dit would rather see me dead then admit the pettiest joke was an innocent mistake...but tehse poeple are not innocent...theyre killers as life maybe dictates itself to be...It was so clear to me that there is no hatred, zero, coming from me....and they want to kill me for shedding light...by simply thinking about it all a little longer...under a little brighter light...

Im so bored with this. Tired out. Roasted. To have to listen to people I barely know threaten me for....I cant even find the words! So Thank you Sam for giving me a few snapshots to describe it for me...I mean...how much more begging for mercy can I ve? Begging everyone I know to simply acknowledge that the only reason I have no money is because of the mass toilet theyve formed to flush against me...together...a bunch of poeple who simply need to be right at the expense of my life...I asked this guy, a childhood friend to hire me for $25 a day to do work that would likely cripple me...but its that fckn bad! There is no cash in my life and the family support is like another form of death...I simply need the recognition that I am worthy of being listened to...thats all...but when someone knows that extra $20 they might give me for even a great deal...the latest today $600 worth of rose bushes found in the grabage...people would rather see me dead than leave it alone...as it demonstrated by sam below...In his world he believes Im supposed to endure not only be disrespected but that I should be arrested if I DARE say one word back...even if those words are "got any work?"

When I looked at these snapshots of our texts thsi morning I realized, felt confirmed innocent...so thanks Sam...for the xample of what  bunch of piece of shits the "community" of westchester county is...