Joe and the Japanese

I think I may have happened on a way to explain why making a fool of myself has been "worth it". Since people so love to connect their good deed to "helping" children...omg the cliche I detest most...

This kid Joe. Such a strange situation. His mom was nice as could be to me. Desperate to find someone to babysit for her monster. I want to believe this woman is as sweet and kind, as she may occasionally seem troubled...no judgements...this  I think is the story worth telling, and how my life matters more than everyone's sabotage has been so far....and how "the children suffer". Im only going to ingratiate because it's worth it as much as this child .... if I had to describe him in one sentence, if you could imagine a 10 year old kid the size of small man, drugged out of his mind because this was what "the system" was telling her to do...they threaten to withhold monies if direct orders are not followed etc...thereby empowering and enriching the one's who made poeple poor in the first place....they've successfully redefined the word "cheater" to mean a desperate, sexy blonde mother who's look bother them because they are so rejected emotionally, still as an adult they will play crucifixtion with innocent women with children...what was thay movie...Ray Fines...constant gardner...exactly the same principal...

Anyway so the original point of writing about Joe was to bear witnes to a social scientific observation of...this kid was OBSESSED with Japanese cartoons...although on drugs....he was still honest...maybe he imagined it I dont know...but he tried to explain a few times what was happening in his brain...and once described it as a kind of siren (I cant remember hos exact words) but I took it to mean , by the expression on his face, that he was saying "please make it stop". The subtext of this kids life...actually this single woman, living alone, breathing in the fumes of a copy shop.....if people are going to call it welfare they should simply realize a blind faith system would at leats be less evil than the created super power of bullshit education...black hearts lookig for a salary and a position they can tolerate....to be fair indivudals dont mean to end up the way the system turns its people into threatened robots...its so bad it polices itself...neighbors wasting each other's time with the pettiest of shit...THAT is what people like my neighbors and Jane Kartsch have redefined american...unconscious.

ANyway the kid was picking up on the power being generated thru the technology .... ie since i got this laptop, my period has just stopped....almost every time I talk to apple they remond me "it is not a laptop. DO NOT leave it on your lap!" But the stiff back wins out everytime...someone it ...for example right now it is on my knees 5 inches away from my crotch and breasts....these things kill...they've eatened away my eyesight prematurely...but I gave that up desperately trying to send a message in a bottle from remote catskill moutains! STill left up there to die and be abused by a bunch of bored..anyway...Joe.

I felt so bad to leave them...but when I think about Joe wrestling with the bus monitors and ripping the 2 way radio out of it's cord....I dont think Ive ever seen an adult fight like that...someone he was restrained by 3-4 people, while I talked him down....and he came inside the house with me...as if everything was ok....it was when he started to become cruel towards me, I found myself stooping to his level I realized it was time to get out...I'd burned out. His mom enjoyed a glass of wine I think once in a while, but was always with him ajust a couple hours after school....totally normal...I think I once had to have him stay at my apt overnight and I never took an eye off my cats. I swear he would have killed them in .... actually .....how unfair is that of me right? He didnt. and I think it was actually like a short fun camping trip feeling of everything was alright....so good for Joe....always wished him...omg I even let my camera run in a cartrip with him once when we were singing along with some Weird AL Yankovich song...laughing hysterically...I swear a truly unforgettable joyoud moment...this kid was so special...so smart and troubled at the same time, the drugs were ruining his little forming brain....I am ashamed to say I made sure to gibe him the pills at prescribed times as I was being paid to do....would I dare confess that once forgotten I felt like I had saved a few brain cells? Imagine how quickly someone might investigate a mistatement as some kind of crime against a child...."the system" is made up of black hearted people, so bored and misreable in their own lives....few even realize it's happening...

I dont remember cops being involved, but when I think back to the bus in front of his house incident...I cant believe the bus monitor he was punching out didnt call cops....fuzzy on memories there..but to mae my point I have to say Im sure the cops knew about Joe...ok I have to tie this point up-something to do with the way this guy I was seeing at the time, who knew about Joe, we had a funny psycho name for him (sorry Joe but it was intense for me-comic relief I guess-dont take it wrong way). We would laugh it off, ponder remedy...anyway when the guy dumped me in the most brutally cruel way, and I resorted to burning up his phone...he decided to call the local police and say I was harrassing him....but he claimed he didnt know my telephone number and only that I lived in that town (I gew up in Croton with this dick)...anyway....so the cops not only found me seemingly without even lifting a finger, through Joey, they left a message on his mom's answering machine! Luckily Joey's mom didnt even question me about it I thought...nothing much anyway other than some guy telling me "David Demarest has called us to say you are harrassing him by calling too many times" so please stop, but now I realize the degree to which we're watched when we live with very little cashflow....poverty has become a business and a passtime...Demarest, with his fucking TWO homes in Croton and Hamptons....BULLYING with as little effort as he takes to wipe the tip of his penis while he sits down to pee...he has the money, he's connected enough that he points the laser of the system on women and children withoiut money...this was 2000-2001 just before...and I will continue to point out to my dying day, that I sent him an email, still have it digitally...where I likened that kind of abuse as something that would soon end up with shutting down access to the upper dam and how anyone could wear those orange vests and set up shop to sabotage and destroy...because well educated gentle people have been reduced to wrestling over bacci scores....brb

I want to hear one day that Joe has a full life and many happy memories. "Nice being poor with ya for a while Joey! Now I understand the rage inside you, struggling with a natural calling to slaughter....". Poeple want to pretend slapping a label b4 sweeping under rug, everytime some idiot actually goes out and hurts innocent people...but the disservice the media gives....clueless about how to engage in discussion , real discussion with a need to understand....there are plenty of ways to do that without treating it like an empowering circus for the killer...Im excercing that VITAL NEED in a society that's so afraid, of its own shadow.....its all dying around us....see how youve killed me off Nancy? Neither of us realized entire south american countries would flood thru...or did you? When did you start counting your millions? As heads? Just like David yoru brother became a billionaire "head hunter"? Americans have fucked themselves. Time to start self deprecating a lot more....if it's not too late anyway...just see it for what it is....that in itself can generate miraculous resultat.

ps afterthought... I have to take a second here, to amaze myself ...I even have a copy of that police message on Rae's phone....and myself calling them back...every day...something crazy would happen to me...totally alice in wonderland....but when I look back...it seems methodical the way this increasingly, more and more a police state world we're creating creates its own problems....my new friend wendy...I dont know the whole story perhaps....but to watch a well paid lawyer and a siting local judge force her to have to keep taking $117 trains every 2 weeks as punishment, to stand before them and explain why she cant pay a $253 fine.....its insanity.....we control each other through our bank accounts....I want to at least expose the misplaced cruelty...the injustice....I heard about some documentary some kid made where he travels across country without anymoney...naive to the relziation that ist diffenrent when your young, and your ebeing prodcused by Craiglist and The Hangover producers....even if he doesnt have the cash in pocket, he isnt where hes trying to claim hes coming from....thats not how it works...just like Barbara Erenrich(sp?) Nickel and Dimed bullshit....its like AL Roker trying out figure skating for the first time for the TV audence to laugh....exactly that and little more....so misleading....thats why documenting 100s-1000s of hours of my life while going thru all of this crap dumped on me...is worthy of funding, support...instead I just get my own brother yelling in the streets "Ill call the cops!" Seriously? Poeple are not just afraid of the truth they are mortified by it....Im demonized, people think they know me when we've never met because word gets artificially sent around by the ones with the most to be ashamed of depserately trying to to discredit me.....brb