Communication with Karzai

General Allen sounds like Pastor Jason Knickerbpcker (hot air) memorizing words to sound as if there is any meaning, acting as if there is understanding is in the air...but there is not.

President Karzai resonates with reason and the only hop ethat sleft...but no one is listening? If Obama wins the US is sending the world as message that they hope to fix their stupidity and rock on...if Romney is allowed to incite this subtle coup d'etat, just as the Bush army did, the message of an insatiable bloodthirsty war mongering, inventor of firearms, battle loving business Eisenhower warned about, Marx warned about...an alienation with whats left of the human soul.

On 60 Minutes Karzai just made the most poignant point about the growing violence that is 10 years into he future stroing, angry, not going anywhere. As if trying to challenge th eAmerican psyche into waking up for all our sakes...but they dont I feel like the power is handed over to a bunch of soul less actors who have their nieces and nephews write their copy so they can maintain propane bills...its that bad...so if it is too little too late finally...at least admit it....this is why they hang people on bridges...poeple children, good people, die needlessly...over petty lies...and its human nature to try to spend one's life wholly grateful and conscious, by recognizing the good and the bad...and why its not holding a grudge are pointlessly blaming for game...its important to show the next generation how and why mistakes ar emade...they key is to find the humour...but this love of republicna oil and war way of doing things has turned once intelligent pioneering americans into obese donut and sex addict blobs of embarrassment...que sera etc...its like we're not allowed to be self depricating without fear of ostracization. brb

Dear Jane Letters

Maybe that will be the title of the book.  Where I figure out a way to get Jane Lartsch to know/get that I see myself as a sort of Carl Sandburg wannabe kind of person while she is determined to turn me into some kind of media psycho killer character...isnt it amazing.

I see myself winning a presidential medal of freedom...but Jane see's me in handcuffs.....seriously what would Carl Sandburg say about what Jane did to me? He wouldnt bother with it...it's simply too tedious. This is my dilemma. How do I explain why it matters?

I just watched the Showtimes series Homeland for the first time yesterday. I had an out of body experience, a sens eof relief, felt less alone...I dont know how to explain it either...but there was a certain scene in particular  that tore all the pain away for almost an entire weekend...when Carrie was trying to get Brody's daughter to call him...I felt like I was watching myself and understood better how I might come on strong enough to scare or alarm...and yet look at the secrets...look at what was at stake...although apples and oranges obviously...it was so exactly like my life in a nutshell. People would arrest, handcuff, kill, ruin someone who they felt could expose them suddenly...unexpectedly...I used to use the word "bullying" to simplify something that is much more complicated...and yet....is it?

Right. Im crazy. According to which lying asshole? THIS is the essence of terrorism. That all human beings are capable of choosing total destruction for all, making that ridiculously selfish decision to keep their secret at all costs.. just so their family never finds out they were cohabitating, or had an abortion as a teen, or smoke fucking pot. The US experiement, in bravely speaking as truthfully as they can handle, emotionally physically...moving through those silly seeds of the chronic corruption to come...Here just let Carl say it:

The Liars

A liar goes in rags.
A liar is a liar, clothes or no clothes.
A liar is a liar and lives on the lies he tells and dies in a life of lies.
And the stonecutters earn a living—with lies—on the tombs of liars.
  
Aliar looks ’em in the eye
And lies to a woman,
Lies to a man, a pal, a child, a fool.
And he is an old liar; we know him many years back.
  
  A liar lies to nations.
  A liar lies to the people.
A liar takes the blood of the people
And drinks this blood with a laugh and a lie,
  A laugh in his neck,
  A lie in his mouth.
And this liar is an old one; we know him many years.
  He is straight as a dog’s hind leg.
  He is straight as a corkscrew.
He is white as a black cat’s foot at midnight.
  
The tongue of a man is tied on this,
On the liar who lies to nations,
The liar who lies to the people.
The tongue of a man is tied on this
And ends: To hell with ’em all.
  To hell with ’em all.
  
It’s a song hard as a riveter’s hammer,
  Hard as the sleep of a crummy hobo,
  Hard as the sleep of a lousy doughboy,
Twisted as a shell-shock idiot’s gibber.
  
The liars met where the doors were locked.
They said to each other: Now for war.
The liars fixed it and told ’em: Go.
  
Across their tables they fixed it up,
Behind their doors away from the mob.
And the guns did a job that nicked off millions.
The guns blew seven million off the map,
The guns sent seven million west.
Seven million shoving up the daisies.
Across their tables they fixed it up,
  The liars who lie to nations.
  
  And now
  Out of the butcher’s job
  And the boneyard junk the maggots have cleaned,
  Where the jaws of skulls tell the jokes of war ghosts,
Out of this they are calling now: Let’s go back where we were.
    Let us run the world again, us, us.
  
Where the doors are locked the liars say: Wait and we’ll cash in again.
  
So I hear The People talk.
I hear them tell each other:
  Let the strong men be ready.
  Let the strong men watch.
  Let your wrists be cool and your head clear.
  Let the liars get their finish,
  The liars and their waiting game, waiting a day again
  To open the doors and tell us: War! get out to your war again.
  
So I hear The People tell each other:
  Look at to-day and to-morrow.
  Fix this clock that nicks off millions
  When The Liars say it’s time.
  Take things in your own hands.
    To hell with ’em all,
  The liars who lie to nations,
  The liars who lie to The People.

$5 Billion is the same thing as $50 Million a Year for next 100 years (for repairs and more)

Dear Governor Cuomo-

$5 Billion is the same thing as $50 Million a Year for next 100 years (for repairs and more)

Why are Americans (specifically since Eisenhower's famous warning) forever allowing ourselves to be tricked deeper and deeper into a massive international debt hole that can never really be paid off? Then on top of that a 4 billion a month Bush war. The only thing holding the country together is this fake belief that suckers for propaganda are heroes?

I just saw some ridiculous TV spot calling for A Better New York. As if anyone really has a clue as to what that means. More sprawl for one, more traffic for another. No more fake people. Even if it means risking afight has to be only solutions. The difference between people who go looking for fights and risking fights like night and day.

How Bikram Choudhury Ruined My Life

Thnking about going to the exclusive Bikram Yoga Teacher Training Program in Hawaii and live in a 5 star hotel by the ocean for 9 weeks? With a scholarship? Who would say no to that. Of course go. Guaranteed to be the greatest time of your life. No matter if anyone tries to ruin your time there-it will still be great. So go. Yes of course go. Would I go again?

While speaking to a group of 300 of us, deliberately trying to sound threatening, Bikram told us stories about how we risk life and limb if ever speak badly of him. Gleefully told stories like one about one of the Ilikai studio's contractor's wife developing cancer after he gave him a hard time about mirrors or something...and so on... other's too...at the time I saw this as just trying to scare petty people away from boring him with their bullshit. I also thought "Why would anyone do that?" and here I am....surprised? Disappointed. Personally, the worst thing about standing up for yourself is when people accuse me of having nothing better to do then talk about this, as if I enjoy stirring up things pointlessly....No question how my life was ruined by this egomaniacle (stupid? steroidal?) childish man...my reason for continually exploring this questions is why. My real question is why. For almost 6 years now they have yet to explain the reasons why this really all began in forst place...continue to try to bury me in my own over-the-years tears, and have never once explained the original injustice. Why did Bikram allow Jane Kartsch to get away with telephoning every single studio in the tri state area to tell them I was a dangerous person....and the proof that I can legally say all of this? Is in the fact that they CONTINUED to use those same exact words while not only stealing away $5700 from me, the tried to have me aressted while using the words "dangerous person" again, years later, as I try to escape as far away as possible from these assholes in NY and CT, fled for FL.

Im going to publicly examine what these fuckers did to me until they fix it. No matter how priceless the tag on that impossible feat-to at least try. Again there's more proof that they enjoy seeing me destroyed...as if Im unreasonable ...they wish. But again who would wish that? What motivates these killers.

Moral of this story is go to this incredible yoga training....but try to make it better... Bikram isnt stupid. He'll figure it out? I used to think so...thats why now Im not so sure of he isnt just stupified by roid rage or something....who knows....I registered www.illegalbikram.com in 2006 thinking it was a funny way of making clear to public that I wasn't certified, but still tried to do the yoga as it was supposed ot be done etc. But instead I opted to go to the $10,000 training to become certified. Why would people be so determined to get in the way of me becoming happy and healthy? Stupid people. Wy cant they just admit it?  They can. Why won't they? Because theyre stupid fcking huypocrites. Under stalin they told the police to arrest people who dare to put thei rthoughts into words honstely. Imagine? Because it scared people? Or because that kind of power is like prono for some more like it. Like the Miligran (?) experiment at Yale..

BRB

My Silverware

In 1986-87ish my father's girlfriend gave me this set of picnic silverware, when I was moving into my Carmine Street apt. It's what I still use to this day. Kind of disgusting actually when I think about all the coffee and sauces and oil water as they soak in water filled glasses in the sink waiting to washed again....

but that's all I have. Constantly having to decide whether to put $10 into gas tank (when I had a working car) or do 3 loads of laundry (That accumulates as I budget the pennies). Ive never owned a washer and dryer, I was over the moon a few days ago when my mother bought for me disg scrubbies-as mine has been around way to long....My entire adult life has been spent scraping by like this....so the idea that my plans were derailed based on some petty woman's jealousy or paranoia...actually its the idea that I have absolutely no idea, still to this day why I was so brutally destroyed... If she had simply kept her nose out of my business, I would have soared...I would have donated thousnds of dollars to some anti-fracking demonstration today, I might have adolpted 2-3 children by now, with some super guy I met blah blah blah....all the nice thinsg that happen when money is flowing....But Jane, and quite a few others, would prefer to believe that even with a dime or two to my name I would be "lost" and or "dangerous" and or useless...whatever their bullshit percerption.....

Im sure Jane has been through a few silverware sets in her day....all thos basic things, like a dishwasher, or reular oil changes...the things people in westchester dont even count as costing....stuff thats never for want...because poeple do very well for themselves in Westchester....but Im supposed to beleiev Im flat broke an dunemployed without a car, and no one will hire me because I wasn't capable of the crap people do for their money? Or maybe I just tried to hold higher standards-naive to believe people would have my back....Ok I dont know what Im talking about anymore....Just cant believe how old I am...and how robbed Ive been.

$5Billion is Also $50Million a Year for Repairs for 100 Years! So Why Not Share that Wealth?

$5Billion for a New TapZee Bridge is Also $50Million a Year for Next 100 Years. SO why do only a few decide they need that kind of money to keep growing their frankenstein world? Imagine how many small business owners and farmers could thrive with that kind of money shared around? Heavy machinery tar adn road guys are tough killer types thats why. They're the one's willing to kill for it, lie for it, cheat for it, and be able to look at themselves in mirror after it because they're too often soul less and shallow...that's why everyone falls in line like sheep...fingers crossed that China Caterpillar will have hudson valley's best interests at heart...give me a break.

I read in an old NY Times article about turning old Tappan Zee into a pedestrian walkway and gardens, that the state currently spends about $50 million a year to maintain the bridge for vehicle traffic. According to my Google calculator $50million X 20 Years = 1 Billion. Therefore  $50million times 100 = 5billion right? I am so bad at math. Large numbers scare th ehell out of me because of an exposure to too many (2 2 many) arrogant math teachers through school. I think maybe the state government reps had a similar experience perhaps...I don't know what privately vested interests are behind trying to sting the treasury into giving them 100 years of bridge repair money all at once...but when the numbers are this perverse it smells of bully interest. Caterpillar Inc for example. Another Bush era company (1986) in October, 2002, Caterpillar – the only diesel engine company to fail to meet the new emissions standards deadline – was forced to pay $128 million in per-engine non-conformance penalties. So how does a company fined so much still thrive? They bully their way either out of paying or bully their way into work.  It's got to stop.

It would be a beautiful thing if the old bridge structure had to support only pedestrians and bicyclists and gardens and maybe shops...it could generate revenue in other ways...but because that does nothing for these KILLER companies that rely on certain amounts of infrastructure bs ever year...they have a way of seducing governemnet officials also bad at math...obviously..... 

How amazing it would be to turn the bridge into something like the  High Line on the West Side of Manhattan if it came down to them getting away with this bank robbery...but the state should instead spend a few billion on ways of enticing the greedy shallow humans of the world, whose only aspiration in this life is to own a lamborghini or a rolex or what nonsense as far away as possible.

"Growth" needs to be redefined and redirected. There are too many people coming to New York for the stupidest, bullshit, cliche, crap reasons. Fuck them fuck their copy cat business models...fuck their "natural ice cream" ideas, or their "dog dooie calls" and storage businesses....so little of what most people do is of any real value anymore...just a lot of sewage shoveling clean up and paperwork no one even reads....so what's really needed? Whats really missing?

Kool as Kaley

I want to also point out that although Kaley's report is hard to follow and confusing...thats just another example of how silly and convoluted her stories were to him (responding officer). Imagine if the cop was a friend of or related to Jane what she could have done to me? So I thank officer Kaley for just being a real person, and an honesty of expression that reveals all of thsi for what it was. His impression was right on...a load of bullshit from some self important pretentious woman wasting his time trying to make a yoga teacher sound "dangerous". I heard he was fired! I hope it wasn't because of this...but if it was where is the justice?

THE DOCUMENTED DECEPTION IN DETAIL

Dear Offcier K-
September 11th, 2007 was just barely about 2 months after my return home from Hawaii. As soon as I could I went looking for old emails sent to Jane, to understand what she was talking about when she told the administrators that I had sent her a photo of a decapitated woman. At first I didnt even suspect she would lie-I thought what in the world did I say or do...and it was until her attorney about 2 years later actually confirmed my disbelief that yes, this photo of myself doing yoga, taken from neck down was to what she was referring...never showed them a photos...just relied on her power to fabiricate something out of nothing-for her own warp vengeful reasons.

So it had only been a few weeks at this point here (see attached jpeg) when Jane was writing to a Franchise Representative for Bikram Yoga LA named Hope Wurdach (see photo with this email side by side with the police report to which she is referring).  I also have raw source copies of 100s of emails with their message IDs with ISPs that can easily be verified. IN her first repsonse to my attorney's first letter to her, she immediately started speaking in forked tongue and contradicting herself. She is an evil liar. She has already killed...I dont know how to fix the mess as you can see...I only pray someone would please listen...make her compensate my family at least partially for all that was lost,  and all that could have been.

Notice how she tries to infer that the Yorktown Police are telling her that I "may have tampered with the report." She then adds "I will find out in a few days" again implying that some kind of investigation is underway. I implore you to recognize this deception that yes happened a long time ago...but was KEY in allowing me to have my very own yoga studio (1200 miles away from Jane) illegally ripped away from me based on Jane's words uttered years earlier "Dangerous Person". I have emails from half a dozen other Bikram studio owners and teachers repeating the same words. There is an obvious link between this and the police report a Bikram teacher in Titusville FL who used the EXACT same words "dangerous person"...only this time they embellished with "not believed to have weapons on her at this time".  This has gone on for so long, my intentions for writing about it are an attempt at seeking out justice. But people ended up laughing at me...making me take thing s a little more off the edge...there are people involved in this that Ive known from childhood...it really turned into an ugly witch hunt, with old flames, and lent money, and jealousies etc....There are actually indirect ties between Jane and a recent incident with a boy named Daniel James just a few weeks ago. Ask a man named "Walter" if it didnt strike him as a little over the top the way James launched into asking for "restraining orders" and what not...like a kid pulling a fire alarm.....Although they may not actually know each other personally, a group of these "artists" at local coffee houses who either do yoga or know each other know my story..and its become like a game for them to threaten me with police...they think it's funny....I have a couple of video clips where this is made very clear , that people embarrass me and humiliate me publicly for their own amusement...i have videotape of them laughing while theyre doing exactly this at the Peekskill coffee house last year (Dan James was there too). I dont know at what point I turned into a total laughing stock exactly...I only know that Jane went out of her way, not to just raise a flag or inquire, but to deliberately ASK I not be allowed to graduate after that $10,000 teacher training program. I can prove ANYTHING Im telling you with irrefutable evidence. This latest call to you from Jane is because of the Lynn Whitlow visit.


If I were 30, 40, even 45 yrs old maybe I could have snapped back somehow. Jane Kartsch knew how impoverished I'd become. That was why she gave me work study in which I built her forst (20 page) website, shot video, photos, created all the html and graphics for ZERO money! All of this in exchange for being allowed to do my yoga daily.  Ask Maritza Johnson if ever there were any incidents, outburts, arguments at all with me in the short few months I was around. Jane hadnt even opned the place yet-so technically I was her forst student. I have very friendly emails with her where she even suggested a man I date, and that I could always just "mess around" with him if nothing else...she had me over for dinner, told me stories about she and Jack's escapades...I simply looked down my nose at this woman when I saw her true colors come out and ran back to the studio in White Plains go GAVE ME PAID WORK STUDY...so how bad could I have been? 100s (literally) of woman walking by me at the front desk everyday, cheering me on...this was the "illegal" uncertified Bikram studio so Jane also called the owner down there to try to stir up trouble for me. At first they knew better down there, but once again when it suited them, they pulled that question mark out on me when I made the mistake of becoming a little too enthusiastic about going to yoga training to become a teacher...its CUT THROAT I think becaise they all make SO much money...so u can maybe understand why, being good at it myself, I saw it as an opportunity to get my life back on track pretty quickly and easily not to mention joyfully. I LOVED this shit...anyone of the zillions of students who passed thru will tell you this. I got along with everyone...

Engelmayer, Geller, WilmerHale, Robert Spencer, Freedom Defense Initiative, Weyrich, Free Congress Research and Education Foundation

When I say Robert Spencer, who pictures a lassicly middle eastern looking character who is a practicing Melkite Greek Catholic. A Melkite Greek Catholic you say? This partner in crime with Pamela Geller and her stupid signs....I see these circles of people who are capable of convincing status quo in US that the church has been around since 451ad (note the degree of farenheit btw I just noticed?) anyway...the depth of sophistication may slowly reveal itself for what it is..HUman beings have vested interests and lay low for decades waiting to make their moves...Expose the poeple who CREATE war once and for all...i fthere are so many men who have an insatiable need to kill? Then fight your wars against the scum of the earth who's soldiers are nothing more than whores for war....psychotic...there are so many peole like this along with the rest of the idiots whose heads it always goes over...Free Congress Research and Education Foundation? Really? Take a closer look at the assholes youre tax money is making rich American people?

 

Ta

Dear Troy

ps Thanks to whoever fixed my time and date font color to stay legible. Good for both of us. Pull up a chair.

Pamela Geller Can Shuv Her Love of War Up Her Jewess Ass

So I have to worry about the line I walk writing about Jane's deliberately, maliciously methodically ruination of my pathetic life....Yet a Federal Judge Paul Engelmayer says it's ok to provoke potential anger and violence in the NYC subway system with stupid ads some millionairESS can afford to burn money on? How is it I cant afford to do my laundry today, but some knt name Pamela Geller has cash to waste on some fanatical cause obviously designed to stir up train bombings? Really? If I say "Jewess"? Do I piss off a thousand people who would seek out somehow to at least blackball me? Compare that to slapping face of an under educated fanatical savage? What is the point other than to incite violence before the presidential election? It so obvious.

On one hand they're patting down grandma's at the airports, they wont allow anyone without a drivers license (so if your wallet was stolen you're screwed) to ride Amtrak etc...all in the name of security and terrorism prevention etc...But at a time when Muslim countries are protesting (and murdering ambassadors) over a film (strategically released b4 election) mocking the Prophet Mohammad, this ad calling out Islamic jihad as pure thoughtless savagery is due to appear next week in New York City subway stations despite transit officials' efforts to block it. Brilliant? Or all part of a design to replace our morning alarm clocks with guns to our heads in some planned mas invasion Im wondering coming soon?

 Pamela Geller, who heads some bullshit front called "the American Freedom Defense Initiative" is allowed to inspire train and subway bombings with pointlessly provocative ads now given a go ahead to be placed all over the NYC subway system. Freedom? Defense? She's deliberately inciting anger, probably hoping it will lead to violence, so that one of her relatives companies who manufactures some kind of fear "prevention" in the form of guns and terrorism as the new growth industry...I am so sick of it...fuck their causes, fuck all their wars..every single war nowadays has either a corporation's vested interests or some radically warped witch like Geller hiding tax money behind it...

The judge who ruled in her favor doesnt see the safety issue? An ad thats obviously insulting an already raging to the death population? I want to know the numbers behind all of this. Who does Geller sleep with to have enough money for her penthouses AND Mass transit ad costs? Millions? Who throws money away on this shit....

Suite Charities Sometimes Derivative Games from Utah in Disguise

Why do I care? Because I know someone who was just tricked out of $10,000 last January...so I find it interesting that This is the CFO of a charity Jane's studio donated money to...to a facility for poeple with Chronic Lyme's that doesn't even yet exist according to its own website-which conveniently doesnt mention where they're even located. Here's the CFO of said charity from her FB page..Im no prude...but I feeling money and plastic surgery more than anything health related...on all website associated with this person...I watched 3 videos ythat say NOTHING and look like a place to launder money...thats what the derivative folks Elliot Spitzer was trying to go after do right? Can I get arrested for wondering? Im making the connection between all the deception that goes on in the name of "health" and my chronic poverty...and figuring it out just maybe.

Finally an organization to help people with chronic Lyme's disease? Wow. This is why the economy is in the crapper? A frien dof mine named Jimmy Moffit used to work for Smith Barney...I wonder if he knows Zoe? Check this out: http://www.inannahouse.org and then look a little closer:

This is the facebook page of the "CFO" of the organization (that Bikram Yoga Bronx is taking donations for...everyone please give of course..sometimes I think I am dying from Lyme's which is why I went to check it out...(First time btw Ive EVER looked at Bikram Yoga Bronx Website in years fyi)

But if thats not a stock photo of "Zoe" I will donate half of my imaginary wealth..Correction! Here's Zoe Sexton's facebook album ... no wtaht's a CFO huh boys?

"Inannahouse.org is apparently, at present just an imaginary facility with a facebook page apologizing that they wont have anything together enough for even a "party" until after spring 2013 when they "promise to have two!"....something just seems weird..theyre hosted out of utah...always the chance its a derivative scheme...but that's ok. Jane doesnt care what really happens to the money...she's just concerned about looking generous enough to hide whats really underneath.

"May and June donations went to Inanna House-an in house treatment facility for people with chronic Lyme disease.

Karma refers to one's actions or deeds.

BIkram Yoga feels it's important to give back to the local community and the community at large.
Proceeds from our Sunday 2PM class have gone to both local and national/international charities. Over the past 5 years (Yorktown opened in 2006) we have contributed over $7000

Thanks to all of you for making this happen."

Important Point

I'd like to point out that after blogging like a fiend for most of the year, I'd put it away for like a week-writing in my head, couldnt be bothered dealing with broken computers and the same old Jane crap....was figuring out how to play song on guitar...and suddenly Jane sends cops to my door..so here we go all over again....Im scared to death some idiot cop will CHOOSE to misunderstand something, make worse something....god knows what...so I write desperately trying to document as much as possible before they kill me off, disconnect me completely etc..But seriously? Imagine worry about being arrested for writing about what you feel? What is backed up with concrete evidence if I dare type an actual name etc...

Seems like a huge leap to accuse a neighbor of murder? Ya well when youre a broke vulnerable single woman and the neighbor goes berzerk on me when simply I asked him if he would mind moving his car so I can change my tire? Then scratches my car-police do nothing about my cr being scratched but multiple police forces used to wipe away Jane's widdle crocodile tear...A neighbor who has been TAUGHT that he can get away with disrespecting me because of all this endless crap I write about...not to mention the woman who came here without a stitch of anything is suddenly gone after the only time I ever heard them fight...Im pretty sure every once in a while all my neighbors read this...so what..I dont want to be fake..Ill be the one who wont die of the heart attack I say! It feels good to speak one's mind on a relatively safe as it is civil way. But I dont need anyone I write about to read this...Its only to try to to make them think twice...I prefer brave to crazy.

If IM wrong Ill be first to gladly admit it...like a relief...if the lost neighbor's gf shows up after a trip to paris...wo! my bad...but the out o fthe blue way he attacked me over changing my tire-still stands as the mystery that trumps being wrong about anything...THATS how bad he was...

I love how the cop yesterday forces me to say my telephone number out loud, in front of neighbors windows I dont particularly lik eetc...because the "community" I live in mays well be called a prison...just like jane's...empty hurtful hate.

Open to Suggestions

Anyone who's ever had the living shit beaten out of them by a black raging nyc transit cop woman over the price of a subway token, and then that info used by a crazed self important westchester yoga teacher who plays her local town cops like they're her own personal s for self indulgent secret service via fake police reports that follow you where ever u go...starbucks, florida...

anyone who can think of a better way to undo the damage done by this succession of libelous haters (every gd one of them) created by a small circle of idiots, from jealous wife owned coffeehouses and yoga studios...(who the fk gets banned from a coffee houase!) Feel free to offer an alternative idea to set the record straight. Until then...

About 6 months ago Jane Katsch followed me into Barnes and Noble, and stood nearby listening to me talking to an electrician about installing a heater...did I call the police? No but I tweeted about it. With video.

Her husband Jack Kartsch will tell you that our HQ in LA "has a 100 page dossier on you (me)". I ask you Officer K? How and why would the husband of a yoga teacher be so emotionally invested? because for 5 years Ive been driving his wife to CONFESS...and theyre scrambling, COUNTING on me never getting out o fme predicaments so the threat of the truth coming out stops worrying them..

Picture this? spring 2007 my roommate and I are summoned to directors office about changing rooms...the FIST thing a man named Craig (head of training) says to me is "Is it true you threatened her children?" Both me and my roommates jaws dropped...neither of us having no idea what he was talking about (I have her Claire Maarschalk saying exactly this over the phone months later as proof). I was layed back and messy, she was an uptight banker with stick up ass so we put in for a room transfer...for anyone else this is simply normal..it happens....but listen to tape I have of  recorded conversation with Jack Karstch last year where he says "You had to change your roommate five times!!!" Ask yourself please? Why would he have to exaggerate? Uh? Is it because he has NOTHING ELSE to even embellish upon? Plus how would the either of them even know about my personal relationship with people who get $10,000 to "certify" me as a yoga teacher? Its called gossip, its called malice....and my only recourse has been to try to figure out a way to turn her damage around...in the process...in the meantime...the stupid conversations over not having an extra .50 for ice at a coffee house, or neurotic neighbors who conspire to snatch my dog away to check he has all his proper tags (I even have THAT convesration on tape!!!) The day after my dog was hurt badly in a car accident I had recieved a letter from the board where I live that I will be fined $50 if my dog is blamed for random poops....when uyou dont have money to fix your cavities...but neighbors choose to target you over others committing same dog "crimes"...it all comes down to money...I have no doubt about that..

If I simply showed up as a paying customer when Jane and I first met none of thsi would have happened. But because this old lady needs to arrange for "work study" and immediately be at the whim of said neurotic yoga teacher's mood swings....

When will it all end? Either I need to win the lottery (unlikely) or I simply have one goddam person acknowledge what Ive been subjected to....in a very large way...and that Wayward Woodward book will be OUR reality...because YOU Jane chose it for yourself, and you chose it for me at a critical time, therby destroying any hope of a future...omg...the strain this has put on my family? Its ALL tied together! ALl of the aunts an duncles who get suck or have died (3 of them) because I cant afford to drive or fly to be with my family (theyre a little bit more asshole than I wish about money too but what can you do?) thats the only family I have....instead of making them proud an dgetting to spend a couple more decades with whoever's left...Jane wants to see me arrested? For being miserable in what she caused? Imagine that?

Definitions of Love

Dear Officer V-

Do you remember why it sounded so strange to your ears yesterday, when I asked you to come down the stairs and quietly ask if we could speak outside my building? Because I was faraid of my neighbors? I told you that I have hostility with my neighbors and try to keep them out of my business. You started to argue the point but you indulged me in the end? Your exact words "You(me) don't want your neighbors to hear but you want to talk outside?" Because you think only you can make sense right? Should I have whispered "I think my back top neighbor may have hurt or killed his former live in girlfriend"? Point is to point out the obnoxious judgement....certainly I have no reason whatsoever to wonder about him...the important thing is that you are made to feel like you know everything?

I guess you meant it seemed strange because EVERYONE who drives by or lives in all the other bldgs will see us talking and you would think that makes less sense?? Really in fact, your right...it does suck for me to have my neighbors inside AND out see me talking with the police. But I have to balance out the fear of the guy in back, with the girlfriend of the other who was selling guns downstairs, the fat white couple upstairs to the back who concoct lies and fines for my car and dog, and call you if they find a piece of paper on the ground....Is it really so hard to see? All their made up crap?

Because Im more afraid of the neighbor behind me (who seems to have disappeared himself for past couple of days) got rid of his car, quit his job...Im not saying on the lamb..I dont know, but what if he did kill his girlfriend?....is there enough time in the day to talk about all the crazy things I overhear? All neighbor's sounding like their pimping out their children. Why should I care about somechick who looked like an x prostitute, who's name I didnt even know...it amazes me how anyone would think I WANT to think about any of this shit...I tweet about it to relieve my conscience...have been forgetting about it...until suddenly cops are questioning me in front of th epotential killers door...and the cop's face looks liek he thinks Im batty because I politely try to gain distance from being in that neighbor's earshot? Im trying to explain how this kind of irony really takes a toll on a lot more than just me.

Because my conversation with Officer V really needs to be about the damage done from the pettiest of police matters...but this isnt interesting to him because at my age-I mays well be hauled off to looney bin right? Because he has a coffee break waiting for him or an appoinmtent with dr and his own buay day problems.

This blog will have to wind down sadly and Ill start something else somehwere else...or maybe I wont...all I know is Im officially dialoguing with the police...who called me yesterday to tell me Im walking a fine line between freedom of speech and aggravated harassment....because Jane's life matters to them more than mine...because I have an obnoxious way of talking about this? Or an innovative way maybe? No one will give me any credit, any apology...fine...but what amazes me is I cant even be left alone?

Police at my door yesterday, because I wrote to one of my ($12,000) teachers, Lynn Whitlow, who was doing a workshop with Jane last week. I angrily tried to bring to her attention the irony that 5 years after I met her my life purposely destroyed by this organization based on Jane Kartsch's prompting (no matter added to that my own pathetic reactions after the fact). Jane told Officer Katallo that it was because she'd read something about me saying I was going to kill her like the Empire State gunman recently...purposely twisting words in order feel out what she can get away with with me right now...she obviously sees me writing about how poor I am ... so she thinks this will work in her favor...that I have no one really protecting me...so after all these years of reasing callthepolice.com and the rest of it, she decides to throw a blow out there at me now? Why? Because she's reading my inner most thoughts...instead of feeling sad for me...she wants ti come at me even harder...imagine? WIth all the disaster Im dealing with right now on top of that I need to be dragged into court by jane fro what sounds like a relatively serious crime? Aggreavted harrassment? Is that like a jail time kind of crme obviously? Seriously? If anyone were to read a certain number of stories Ive blogged about my sadness, my troubles, who I am, how I react...what kind of person needs to see me in Jail? The one who caused it all? After she reads a twet that suggests Bob Woodward should right this story abot me and Jane?

Last week in fact I did contact Lynn Whitlow on her Facebook page where she had talked about teaching a seminar at Bikram Yoga Yorktown....I still have the message on my acct (even tho she unfriended me)...these poeple are hypocrites and hurt me very badly period. Not because I failed on my own... they maliciously went after me...still coming after me apparently because I will write till my dying day.  My health is so bad my body is rotting. no monet for anything, no work, transmission dead...but poor Janey is scared? Bullshit! She wants to twist the knife because I am revealing her for exsactly what she is....

Police documentation of Jane's words "dangerous person" have resonated across the country, world....in Jane's mind Jane must win at all costs. I will never be a Bikram Yoga teacher EVER-hooray for you Jane. How many points do you guve yourself for that? I will die from broken heart and all over body cancer from chronic depression...because Jane just needs to win this one....I want to speak publicly about what happened to these psycho killers and in turn expose the real fuel behind their horrific actions. For that I have to be warned that I could face arrest. For exploring my own rage over having my life completely destroyed by someone to have to worry about being arrested...wow...It's like for writing "Officer V" who could turn around and charge me himself with harassment simply because he's decided Im not worth the time (as he made clear on leaving yesterday) and he resents feeling like he needs to read this....Its themselves people are afraid of not me.

I can't even just pour my heart out here now...because the police ARE WATCHING! I can ignore it to a point and then its like omg...there it is looming....like Im being hunted, watched...for the most part the cop was very nice and seemed to try to be listening and understanding....but I could tell just like Officer V (who I momentarily forgot about in the middle of this all here sorry) I could tell that the officer on the phone was a little more tan tired of listening to me at times....But seriously? Imagine? I have to worry about rubbing someone the wrong way by answering a question created by Jane Kartsch?

Shit! Seriously! Now I feel conscious of my cursing. Like ya of course someone wont get arrested for 4 letter wording? Bullshit! Cops are human too and thats exactly the problem. Cops ahove zero business INTERPRETING anything. For their own sake...thats not an insult. Its just teh basis of what everything in this country is dependent upon. I am writing about how the system failed me in order to try to recycle what was RUINED into something worthy....so come on...go ahead step ito my sand trap?

This is my place. This is my journey. Why are you here? You want to watch? You want to learn something. Fine You want to continually interfere in my life.....Gallery idea (note to self) I want to gather every single police report at this point accumulated in my life and blow them up 3x4 with gallery edging....that would give me comfort...and the hope that one day one goddam person will finally figure it out and say "Holy shit! They did this to you? That's so sad. How did they get away with it?" and "How will you get restitution?" "A book by Bob Woodward omg" probably also prompted Jane to try ever so pathetically to keep getting away with avoiding my due apology...

If I were Jane I would say to me, "Just stop already! I apologize. I don't know why I lost my ability to see how I wronged you so badly...." Anyone who really knows me knows thats all it would have taken if it were sincere etc...then I could have tried to get back on right footing with health and career...but tahts why Im so bitter now...the realziation that its really never going to be reversible...Im hot flashing and feel the hormonal drop s severely its beyond my physical life anymore...so I know officially the eggs are fried...there is no amount of money...nothing that will give me the last 6 years of my life back.  I couldnt even move away to florida without Jane's damage following me and being used against me at a vulnerable time in which I lost everything again...move on people say? Give me a break.

What a joke that anyone would Blame Obama for fact Im not working.  I declare I believe most unemployed are such for much more complicated reasons.... I have some peace of mind at least from knowing, without a doubt, 100% proof, that Jane Kartsch had no legitimate reason whatsoever to create a police report in Dec 2006 or attempt to do it again yesterday. She only did so originally because I told her that I had been beaten severely decades before and was afraid of the police. and like any good Bikram Yoga teacher would do, she called the police to report me for what? Did she mention to Officer Kaley it was really because I had emailed Bikram HQ to complain about Jane (cc'd a million people and still have a copy of it!? No of course not...and shes allowed to get away with it why? Because I too would be making half a mill every year with my own studio, in some farm I saved from being sprawled out...with my own studnts far awat from Jane? Jane couldnt allow that why? Ask her, and when she finally breaks down and confesses she did it because she's still living in some trauma from childhood like sybil...slap her for me. Oh! woops? Can I get arrested for saying slap? Or worse? Can I get arrested for being sarcastic? See thats  the thing. Im not angry at Jane because I failed. She took away and keeps coming BACK againa and again to take away...and if I write about it I have to worry? At this point I guess her demons will start eating at her...and so if SHE looses it, from the supression of her guilt say...I have to worry still? How is that? Why would it be that way?

But Im not being sarcastic. You never know when you strike the wrong chord with the wrong idiot, at the wrong time... another idiot looking to misplace their aggression. My heart races a little, My cortisol levels start bloating like a balloon....I couldn't be more miserable....and the best way to fix that? Is to try to keep beating me up? My future plans didnt include Jane-so how is it she's ended up in my life so brutally? This black eye was from not having a subway token in 1993...I made the mistake of talking about it-and people never look at you the same way again...oh really? Mayeb yoga can help fix this? Only if the teacher isnt a spiteful childish game playing liar?

In Jane's world Im not allowed to write to a visiting teacher in her area (I was born here she's the transplant in my Sleepy Hollow) Is it really over all of their heads that Im bitching about things in that (fb post actually) message in the hopes that someone could intervene and say "Let's fix this! (Five yrs ago)"

Read How Jane Explains Her BS Police Report to My Future Employers

Notice how she tells the woman in email that I "may have altered" or "tampered" with the police report so she was compelled to file ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!! Keep in mind I had not seen her at this point for almost 18 mod, no phone, no email...nothing

But once again I have police at my door, with hostile neighbors eating it all up? So that when they try to fine me $20 for parking my car in the shade I have top explain why I have so much interaction with police? Does anyone fucking get it?

If you're only going to tell me she can't be charged with faking a police report for her own devious purposes...then at least force her to explain why she filed the report in the first place....and clue me in...so then maybe I can get some closure...but once again...Jane Kartsch doesn't want me to have closure...Jane Kartsch will angle anyway she can to put police in my life to somehow drive me one day to snap so she can feel she won something....thats the kind of idiot she is...Im stuck on this because I have nothing left! I NEED answers and no one has the right to stop me from telling my own story and the shitty people who put me in this position.

For the Record

Btw..I had just been figuring out the guitar chord progression for the song "Landslide" before the police showed up on my steps this afternoon.....just like any other "dangerous person" does in their ghetto hell.

Every Single Time

I was RAPED in NYC in Jan 1990...I didn't call the police basically because I had voluntarily taken the drug he gave me...Imagine I too might be in trouble for that...can u imagine!? SO many horrible things have happened to me in my life and calling the police wasn't always such a knee jerk response...yet somehow my time is CONSUMED by people who are trying to turn me into a dangerous person...cop in FL illegally allows a woman who is stealing my money to change locks on my storefront writes about me in her report "Known to be a dangerous person-is not believed to have weapons on her at this time"...THAT was the first police report written about me since the Jane Kartsch reports with you! Can anyone at least admit the exaggeration? Or no its better for you that way? So I can again have the shit beaten out of me and easier time getting away with it? Why does everyone pretend Im not the one being bullied here lol?

Do you not see the game of telephone being played? Officer Katallo? Do you get that's how they get away with their own illegal games? At my expense...what do they say to themselves to sleep at night? Im ruined already and they need to feed their kids?

If I overhear what sounds like a mother pimping out her 8-10 yr old daughter...I can do nothing...If I have reason to wonder if a crazed neighbor hurt his live in girlfriend? It doesn't matter. There is no one I can call. No one wants me to call. Because I have been removed from ever being taken seriously by pretty much anyone at this point...Thats why neighbors who sell guns to undercover agents are never even questioned when they break into my electrical closet etc...

Police don't seem to understand, that when neighbors walk by and see me in yet another situation today! where I am FORCED to converse with a police officer-they don't know what its about they don't care! Its just filler but it takes a toll...that people use this against me when it serves them...impressions are created etc and people run with them when it suits them, when it serves them....at this point its irreparable... As I was using peekskill cops phone to talk to YPD, I thought maybe he was hearing my story somewhat and might be sympathetic...but no...he made it clear he too was revolted by me...and why? Because I wasted his time? Its my fault? Seriously?

"You can't call the police!!" Laughed the gun selling neighbor last winter, when I caught him blowing up the electricity in my closet....

Because of my financial situation....too broke to matter to anyone...not a heavy hitter tax paying citizen like Jne who I heard pays $4000 a month in rent alone, has opened her second studio (the joys of having a hard working husband to pay for things)....Its only fair that Jane has so much and I am not even allowed to bitch about what she did to me right? 

Cant afford to do laundry, can't drive anywhere, can't work...so I explore ways of recycling these injustices put upon me - I blog - and I have to talk to police...who told me basically I guess they're reading my blog now...talk about a damper on things? Imagine? I have to wonder if I could be charged with a crime? for writing? Because Bikram is a rich asshole who can't keep his pants on, and is only interested in working with either hot or rich bodies....brb

No Money No Honey

I couldn't pay my bills on arriving home because Jane stopped me from working...its easy for people to stand back and say "But you have had 5 years"...and I again am forced to TRY to tell the long tedious disjointed series of events that I told you about earlier? Do you see?

Jane's heart is as ugly as her face.

Dear Officer Katallo

I can't easily explain the ENDLESS complications caused by Jane Kartsch's actions....all I have left is bitching about it....she got what she wanted. Im flat broke, Im ruined, my health is so shot and critical time lost...its over for me...so who would deprive me of MY RIGHT to talk about it? Jane! See this excerpt? From Jane's lawyer himself...let me ask you something? Do you REALLY believe Jane was alarmed by this photo of me in yoga outfit (from neck down? (Complete letter can be found on bullyoftheyear.com) 

(click to enlarge)

In that email (cc'd to a dozen others no less) I pointed out to Shelly at Bikram HQ the petty nonsense Jane was putting n the way of me simply practicing Yoga at her studio. Id never raised my voice, never made a scene NOTHING! Shelly gave me a $3000 and free room and board in Hawaii at my teacher training FACT! SO just how bad could that email her lawyer refers to have been?  Over the years relationships have deteriorated and its beyond repair...all because why? Because I didn't kiss Jane's ass on Memorial Day 2006? Because it was a holiday and I didn't work?

PLEASE CHARGE JANE KARTSCH WITH FILING FALSE POLICE REPROTS AND I PROMISE TO TONE THINGS DOWN.

ps You should have seen the look on the face of the cop when he left here, polite but very clearly pissed off for having his time wasted, jotting down my license plate as he drives away-as if now Ive made yet another enemy with the police....and I have to be blamed for this? Can you imagine for one second how I have to carry his resentment now because Jane wanted to stir up trouble for me?

Jane Kartsch Should be Charged with Filing False Police Reports

Dear Yorktown PD-

Can you imagine loosing so much weight, and feeling good about life, embarking on a new career as a Bikram Yoga teacher only to be stopped by Jane Kartsch...stopped not only from working (after a $12,000 investment pooled together by friends and family) but even more cruelly stopped from maintaining this massive weight loss. Can you imagine?...Ask her why and she will only offer after the fact excuses... ask her what I did. I did NOTHING but not return her phone calls on Memorial day 2006 about a website update quick enough THAT IS IT!

Notice her lawyer claims (in letter on www.bullyoftheyear.com) that this photo alarmed her and so she contacted the YPD:

I think what people have a hard time understanding is that even though this attached police report basically says nothing, the simple fact that she brought it to my future employers attention, should clue you in to what her agenda is no?  Do you understand usually no one really bothers to read it? 

Ask Maritza Johnson from Birkam  Ridgefield (CT)-and she will tell you what many people know about Jane. She's twisted. Jane used this to destroy any chance I had of salvaging the little I had left in my life...The idea that Jane would still be entertaining charging me with "aggravated harassment" is simply cruel and unfair...why would this lying, hateful troublemaker continue to hold any power or authority over what I am allowed to write about?  Over the past 5 years a small circle of people who know each other indirectly have been ganging up on me in this way...Its all too tedious to talk about and THAT is exactly how they get away with it.....

Period. Jane knows I have every single email between us and can easily disprove anything she (Jane) may try to make up....so ask her what exactly started all of this. Notice she had no reason over than to take another bite out of my credibility....for no other reason than her own entertainment. Sound far fetched?  "Why would she waste her time?" you might wonder? Well I have wondered too for the past 5 years. So before she's AGAIN allowed to try to strip me of my first amendment rights? Ask her... Don't let her tell you about things Ive WRITTEN over the years....I ran into her ONCE in all these years and back then I suggested what a shame all of this was...but she is playing a game she needs to win at my expense. The ONLY way I can get justice is if just ONE person confronts her on the fact that she called to file a police report against me for no other reason than to hurt my credibility.

In the spring of 2006 I was working on her website, she couldn't figure out how to log into it let alone design anything....and for that she "fired" me...I didn't care! Notice there are no police reports from that time spring-summer 2006. We went our separate ways.   SO ask her what exactly constituted filing of a police report? She won't be alb to answer because the truth would reveal her to be the witch that she is.

Maharaji'sUs

Dear Maharaji,
I think I fell into the honey of my anger, head to toes, head first, without brakes. Thanks for showing up and administering the relief :)

I am being killed off everyday by yet another "irked" deranged, desperate, killer. Classic killers, mother killers, child killers...everyone's a killer. The last major assault on my peace came from a neighbor who I overheard gossiping a couple months ago and simply (and briefly) called him on it. We didn't speak until I had to ask him if he would mind parking elsewhere so I could change the tire (that he punctured?) and he made a huge screaming scene for all the neighbors to come out and watch. My married Bulemic friends suggest I move. There's no where to go. But inside. 

Massage in a Bottle

For years, most of my adult like in fact, I would tell anyone who would listen about how offtrack things are in my life, naively bellowing that anyone of course would want to help me. That everyone was smart enough to understand that even the tiniest of gestures were capable of catapulting me back to the place I was supposed to be...that was the feeling really underneath it all. The smallest token only had to be sincere, and at the right time could act as major damage reversal...

In 1998-1999, when I started vomiting my inner misery and fury over the injustice onto an internet page, I had never heard of anyone doing that.  Maybe TRONnerds with fake names and role playing games, but I was willing to take my chances by screaming out dates and places, and names when an innocent person was being hurt...in fact one of the first was about a middle school special ed class I substituted for in the Hudson City Schools. Because a woman named Mrs Mecht was bullying, and emotionally lobotomizing the kids that went thru her room. I was subbing for the main teacher, while Mrs Mecht was an "aid", so I think she felt awkward taking a lead, but was quick to try her hand when she felt threatened or jealous...I mean honestly?I was early 30s, still attractive, at times perhaps drop dead gorgeous judging by the number of heads that didn't turn when I walked by...thats the one good thing about being a nasty old aging grandma, Im allowed to reminisce..with the pic to prove it...People LOVE to write me off over any tiny little misunderstanding...no one ever wants to take the time to work out misunderstanding with me because its only win loose with them...at all costs..as if they would rather die themselves and ALWAYS see me dead, or suffer, or be taught sone kind of lesson....brb I have to upload the last pic I saw of myself around that time....such a great person....have never down anything illegal except maybe a little herb. Rarely, if ever drink, I have no money most of the time to do anything...so every little move I make to better my life is a huge gamble. Like giving me Bikram Titusvile-no one can ever explain honestly how once again people were allowed to take advantage of me, but also break the law while doing so, and continually get away with it. It's only because my saint of a mother, who tries her best to understand and support me that I have not blown my brains out.  Every single person I know's opinion of me has been colored. Yes in part by my own dramatic reaction to the abuse AFTER THE FACT. But I truly believe that part of a staff employed by Bikram Choudhury, initiated by false rumors and CREATED police matters by Jane Kartsch of Bikram Yorktown meant to drive me to a place emotionally where offing myself was an option.

 The difference between blogging and writing I am allowed to define. Because I may not have been "the first" (although I well might have too) to seek justice in the public forum way, via my own domain, friend's server and the most incredible introduction to the internet..that I parlayed into a small business making websites fro small businesses for a while...omg the ridiculous conversation I endured for a lousy $150...my favorite was at a Chinese Restaurant in Croton where the owner's son said "Let's be honest? WHo's going to buy Chinese food from the Internet?" zero vision like most....I was the one telling people to buy Apple stock in 2000, while I myself couldn't afford to buy dish soap...I was the one who begged and pleaded people wake up to that sham of an election, how obvious it was that war was coming. Then that war even came! A war that would bankrupt the country, blogging about al of it on fARMY because I'd not gotten over the stupidity of the first Gulf War..Im not only laughed out of the room, Im blackballed for it...what people don't understand about blackballing is that isn't perpetuated consciously - like some children's popularity contest - it's financially based. Years after you initially pissed off someone politically, your resulting snub-poverty in itself is more than enough ammo for the next dancing partner. For instance Jane Kartsch of Bikram Yoga Yorktown. She would be the kind of fellow 911 conspiracy theorist herself normally, to support someone like myself's arguments, predictions etc...either a comrade or just harmless enough acquaintance. I had never in anyway, shape or form been any sort of threat to Jane Kartsch whatsoever...but armed with the knowledge that I was already broke, hurting, aging 45, on my last legs if I didn't pull a rabbit out of hat soon Jane made the conscious decision, she chose to not only ban me from her studio but went out of her way to call all other yoga studios in area to frighten them away from not only hiring me, but allowing me to continue working out. SOMEONE NEEDS TO PRESS HER ON WHY. NOT LET HER GET AWAY WITH SIMPLY CITING THE BITCHFEST THAT HAS UNFOLDED SINCE...It took all of 3 months to put that 50 pounds back on. Weight Id worked so hard to loose, and she saw me loose it even..But the blackballing comes from her knowing there wasn't much of a future left for me anyway, so she, Jane, made the conscious decision to actively, knowingly extinguish any opportunity she could sabotage in my life from that point on. The question is why? Imagine those crucial years lost 45-50...and there wasn't ever even anything to apologize for to avoid it-it was like a form of emotional murder.

Lynn Whitlow, a teacher who helped me enormously in my teacher training while simultaneously put me in touch with a mini photographic memory ability to quickly learn dialogue is teaching there this weekend. But if I were to show up for any reason, to do yoga, to bring cookies, anything whatsoever Jane Kartsch would RELISH in another opportunity to further write some kind of police matter up on my name...don't misunderstand. They can ALL go fuck themselves. I have no desire whatsoever to put myself thru any of that and of course have no intention of going....but how can I send a message? How can I ask, how can I DEMAND, someone hold Jane Kartsch accountable. Someone PLEASE just ask the question and NOTE, be witness to the fact she has no answer. That is why the false police report she had created, that she brought to the attention of the staff during my yoga training and all but ruined it, and subsequently my future plans, a $12,000 investment when all was said and done...financial disaster that took such a toll, on my aging family also dying off one by one.....jane Kartsch needs to admit she had absolutely no reason to interfere as use did in my life...and now she thrives in that Bikrma Community? Must be an air of evil in the worst way associated with Birkam Yoga?

I forgot what the hell I really started to write about.

Maharaji ICU

The only close by neighbor I get along with gave me the most incredible maharaji videos a couple of daze ago, it's been years since I've listened. I pull out Terra de l'Amour once in a while when I come across it. Love the music on that one. First time Ive thought about it in a year or two...but yet there it is playing inside of me, somewhat distant but the feeling 100%.

I so had the urge to write on about a million things, but in the short time it took to open a browser and get situated...I go blank....really just want to go to sleep...but did want to get a revelation off my chest...

In knowing who I am, as best as I've been able, throughout my life I've been so amazed by the amount of hatred Ive been shown...from the time some total stranger 4th grader at the french hill school in yorktown walked up to me and punched me as hard as he could, and knocked the wind out of me (scary shit for a 10 yr old) all the way to last friday when a neighbor started screaming at me out of the blue and keyed my car...pause.....out of the blue? Or do they read this? How inventive am I? To think of a way (12 years ago) to get off my chest a burning need for justice...beyond any love or concern for any other person...ALL human beings lie. The lying lying I can forgive, forget, laugh about...but my neighbor for example, and their inability to just say "Ya. Sorry bout that...let's move on..." Their need to create the drama I in turn get blamed for THAT is what makes me wish for a speedier death, more and more often everyday...but on my own terms...I can't stand the idea of being "taken out" by some anus faced sociopath like neighbor one, or the mr burns (simpsons) x-exxon employee who would sacrifice all the entire future, of any life on planet for a 10 second encounter with a nigerian penis...lol...don't ask don't tell who? Shouldn't I complain about the military that is supposedly  funded royally for the purpose of protecting forefather offspring....or was the int'l business of war that eisenhower warned about designed to turn into a welfare system where nigerians and ecuadorans could find a way to fund their dreams of impregnating as many ss children as possible..because thats all they know how to do other than make money like MONKEYS. Like APES. Void of any purpose almost 100% of the time....necessary paperwork perhaps and yet drowning in it, so sooner the collapse and all for  what? SO baboons can drive the most expensive cars, correction, own the most expensive cars and why? Thats all they know of purpose...and there are so many millions of them...urinating and shitting and flushing as I write...people who if you told their actions will one day lead to all the earth's water supply left will be urinated. Forget about chlorinated....there it is again. That deception. Where we all try to keep enough money at hand to buy a relatively peaceful atmosphere....

The best way to describe the hell Ive been subjected to for the past 12 years, would be with this latest incident with the tall skinny negro man named Daniel next door.  I dare anyone to show me a pic of his last live in gf still alive or without blackeyes....thats how sure I am of his instability. Because if he would pounce on me, a virtual stranger the way he did on friday, simply because I asked him if he would allow me some space from his car to change a flat tire...the asshole keyed my car I believe because he was HOPING to provoke me into doing the same to his big black limousine, which btw is not his...he probably thinks ins would cover, and he's too daft to realize that could effect..well actually lady downstairs told me he was talking about quitting a couple of weeks ago....If I wanted to get him in trouble I would start talking about something I know he does that could potentially be pretty heavy...but IM NOT looking for "call the police" revenge! I think this dick is fucking DANGEROUS and I don't want to have to waste another minute of my life in this ridiculous neighborhood stressing over this...no body? Ask him a fckn question...the guy keys my car....cops wouldn't do shit..could care a less....so way am I left with? Thoughts of suicide come when these scummy people flatter themselves so automatically...assuming even if I won a lottery and could afford to escape, they think I would spend 5 seconds thinking of them AT ALL! They are in my gd face every fckn day! CREATING pain and heartache and then standing back and watching me spin out...do I allow it? Maybe...but Ive had a mirror on it the whole time...my revenge will be this movie...about ugliness even if mine is ugliest of all...the origins will in fact show me to be the bravest and more conscientious than virtually any one Ive ever met...but people LOVE to see me fail, hurt...lol! No shit! One day after I found some old garage with a junk yard behind it to let me hold some flowers and shrubs I was trying to hold in order to sell for a little bit of money to barely get by, an inspector from Corttandt shows up warnings, citations, "everything out by friday....so not only did I loose my little start of a garage flower shop, I jinxed the business who'd had old cars there for years!!! People resent me for this!! An dI have to explain? My god! how much am I expected to take? I don't say I would rather be dead lightly! Im just amazed that for expressing my feelings, in the HOPE of shaking sense into the most senseless and their abuse (in fact) a simple apology would be overlooked in favor of stubborn self important egomaniacal continuation of STUPID gd arguments!!!  People LIKE to argue, people LIKE to have war...because people are lazy kilers, and perverted rapists....omg when I think about how many guys Ive made not like me because Id rather be alone for eternity than as much as touch them let alone have sex with them....black and hispanic men especially resent my dog...and actually say these words "You sleep with your dog..." Would I rather spend my life listening to that? Or be consumed by the promise of the afterlife, which as I get older, makes more and more sense....you better believe I will exercise my ugliest ugly in th efface of the SHIT people who have driven my life into oblivion (on the outside) but on the inside....no where else, and no one else would I rather be.....omg my rip van winkling in the catskills throughout my 30s....as if I was exiled....and yet...driving in my convertible 280zx (that I got for $500) down the mountain from windham to cairo, listening to nick drake (10 years BEFORE VW ads)....sumer breeze at a perfect cruising speed...no one around for miles....it was so incredible up there, but people did everything in their power to keep me from being able to enjoy it...Ill never forget riding my bike for a few miles to buy milk one day when my car wasn't running....and these tween boys hurling rocks at me in the middle of town, yelling "crack whore!" I didn't smoke crack, I almost never had sex and certainly was not a whore but what was most confusing was why they were doing that to me...Id never seen them before....yrs later I realize this is how their mothers probably talked about the almost new substitute teacher who witnessed the child abuse they allowed at the hand of the long time school principal. THAT is how people operate. Crucifiction on a daily basis is a million times more popular than football....I freaked the kids out by being nice to them! I stopped an confronted them honestly! "WHy are you saying that? It hurts my feelings" etc....what was so funny about it was they were still young enough they almost showed regret (as opposed to older teens esp today, who feel that need to identify with their own psychotic made up bullshit...) anyway...fuck them...my point is I've done nothing but "move on" from the shit, my entire adult life...and now I have to live with fat Bolls who file police reports with TEARS in their eyes to police about how afraid they are of me, and yet every motherfucking time we cross paths, or make eye contact...they start laughing together...again...the crucifixion...the fat pig of a woman feels more loved by her fart ass husband...now there is an example of death being so much more appealing....Or the fucktard homeowner president who would watch a paraolympic race between guys with no legs...and because they're so amazing fast on their blades...he would insist there is nothing wrong with them....as if because the idea of loosing a limb is too much to handle-he prefers to pretend his judgement and denial is biblically childlike....when it is so not.

I hate this miserable place, I love the moments Ive been able to escape and hold for my own....even some of the hell I can turn around, seeing it for what it is...but the rest? Danyel (sp?) scratched my car hoping to get me to do same to his...THAT is how ghetto shit scum people behave and so what is the point of pretending all life has value? I would lay down my life if it meant contributing to welfare of some endangered species or natural disaster avoidance....I truly am that grateful....even tho Ive been so totally robbed of the most fantastic outside life ever....I am grateful for my beautiful life. I enjoy looking at old pictures of myself and for the first time, these past few years have liked what Ive seen. "Wow Im actually kinda beautiful sometimes." How come no one else ever told me that? How come people who look and speak like baboon procreate and make more little hairy monsters to urinate the watersheds...but no one has ver really wanted to as much hold me or kiss me? Its because male baboons prefer women who are so desperate they feel more manly that way? I should be sleeping? Is that obvious? I dare one person I know to remind me why they aren't a total lying full of shit dick too. Everyone sucks....my cries have all been for just ONE sensible, practical thinking person to bother ti care....and no one ever did....I will ALWAYS remember that when everyone starts to try to somehow apologize when I become wealthy, and they charismatically find a way to convince me, very intellectually how it was my own fault or whatever....fuck. I never once in my life had a true friend. Except myself. Thanks for introducing me to me more clearly Prem. SO sorry about the tragic sadness...but that certainly NEVER started with me.

Begging

I was at the bottom just before I took dog for a walk...trying to snap out o fit...and then here we go again...As Im walking down the hill after about a 20 minute walk, I see the neighbor who I wondered about this morning sitting in his car, parked right up on top of the line super close to mine...and this guy who say the might buy mu car was supposedly going to come by to see it, and also change my flat tire. So since Danyelle (he spells it differently can't remember exactly but yell certainly works...)had just pulled in and was sitting in his car so I motioned to catch his eye to roll down indow and ask if he would mind parking in a visitor spot to give my tire changing a little extra space....he refused to look at me, roll down his window, I wasn't sure what was going on...finally he rolled down his window after like leaving me standing there with a simple question..."I have a flat, need a little extra room to change it would you mind..." but he says no?!?! He says because he didn't like my attitude about a month ago when I called him out for tattling about me blaming me to baby mama squatta downstairs...seemed obnoxious..wrote about this when it happened a while back (end of July maybe) anyway..he went off on me...I stupidly took the bate and started yelling back...just amazed that I can't even ask a neighbor to make room for a tire change without getting an earful... Please someone get me out of here alive. This guy was so up on top of me like he wanted to hit me, I wondering what he did with his last girlfriend...why he got another one so quickly that has a similar red little haircut...the blue cherokee is gone...did they break up and thats the settlement? Or did he kill her? Because the wanted to kill me to day...for asking him to give me extra space to chnag amy tire PLEASE...he refused...this is the shit that mass people want to toss it in...what a stubborn mule man.