Merry Making

So of course my family leaves me out of the christmas holiday gathering as usual.....without explanation. Just the culmination of years of financial tension, general family bitterness, pigheadedness and misinforation... I asked my mom to retrieve a painting a gave to them back in '05, that if theyre not using it I wanted it back to protect it from my brother's temper....she told me "its theirs to burn if they so choose." Ive spent my entire life being called crazy by truly crazy people. But make the best of it so they say right?

Below my crap shit apartment, through the think walls of which you can hear a person scratch their ass, I have my not so bad scottish latin tempered neighbor, who fo rthe past couple fo years has let me know my walking around drives him crazy...he's been polite as he can be, while still being honest...but there is no solution. Other than me absorbing so much tension from tiptoeing for the past 2 yrs...but anyway I was thinking how much like "domestic abuse" this is in essence...first let me say the 4 people who are down their now sleeping...have been perfectly polite, seem very nice, very friendly today...in passing anyway...but the thing is between the 4 of them they probably have between $1.5-3 million in real estate...the gf has a ranch somewhere in ct for example which is probably worth 2million alone...the point is while Im just tryin gto go about my business, at thi spoint cleaning, needing to vacuum then finding myself hesitating,...because even though its only 10pm it sounds/feels like theyre all in bed...so I start tip toeing mor ethan usual...start to loose my focus next thing I know Im rotting on the couch again...the stress Ive absorbed from feeling a sense of fear - from having yet another neighbor go over completely to the dark side (where they dont just disagree but actually fabricate problems to try to see me squirm-as in ya they get off on it...ya its hellish)..

   I even put quiet xmas music on....was afraid to sing along....in my experience....neighbors are too lazy to call themselves, or text...they'll just use police like their butlers relaying a message...just imagining that happening to me as it has too often....over pettiest or even fabricated bs scenes...couldt believe it when I saw Daniel James working at Starbucks. I will never go in there again. I told the Starbucks headquarters they should take over old Black Cow space...anway...move on you say? They dont want to be on a lovely horse farm in CT for xmas they want to send their stress thru my floor....and add to the slow death....IM too tired to expound on this right now...but we are a society that enjoys the torture of the vulnerable...and I mean to say something profound about it. brb (also con ed and bullyinging custoemr service over accustaions of overbilling...these poeple are killers plain and simple more on that later)