Embracism

I just watched a Goya TV spot with an African American family of four....The strangest feeling came over me. It bothered me that I was compelled to understand if they were black or brown selling spanish company food in such a traditional wonder bread way....then I was pissed off....now...I am about to try to understand why. Why the angry reaction? I remembered back to childhood, and how if I had seen this commercial as a kid I wouldn't have noticed race at all. I would have probably wished I was tan and had the woman's lovely curls...frankly I woudl have noticed nothing else really..."What chya cooking mom?" lil boy asks. "Goya yellow rice. I'll have this ready by the time you set the...! Table." answers mom....SHit food, fake people of another color...its like all that is/was bad about white man is what the formerly known as the minorities now covet most. Their violence....see now that my adult life is coming to a close and how my impression of black people has been SLAPPED around, physically BEATEN UP by a certain backwardsness....over time...forces me to try to get the job as translator for any and ALL the multitude of morons black and white who resort to violent resolve....

People turn their lies into showbusiness nowadays....As a Royal babysitter I was begging New Line Fucking Cinema to let me crawl out of (what turned out to be) the start of my life's mess as far back as 1995. I argued with the lead singer of Spin Drs (outside my front door) about the value of reality tv because we had just watched the rebraodcast of An American Family in 1988 or 89...maybe it was 90....ok so fine...I never get to see my project thru...but to end up like this? I know it seems to people that things could obviously be much worse. At least I have some semblance of family....and not to sound ungrateful......but the entire point of ....everything I do in my life has turned into trying to get across the point that it only makes sense, that if someone throws a punch for no good reason I will flip them, and hold onto their wrists until they put it right...and will do so effortlessly.  BECAUSE THAT IS THE ENERGY FREE POWER OF THE WORD (for christ's sake). But stupid illiterate poeple, computer illiterate for sure people who are too lazy to inspire people to be better, create laws that will end up being a giant noose for everyone....I mean no disrespect to the Chinese when Im actually admiring how in the world a government manages 5 billion or so human beings across the world and never seeks out any recognition. So noble? Or just nature taking its course...little boys who grow up wanting to manufacture tin foil... for the people....The Asian Daniel Boone was probably many many famines and wars prior...I want to trhank my parents for bringing me into the world to see it well before able to see how we were destroying it...such a magical childhood.

I think bullshit when I hear people say they had to forgive otherwise it would defeat them too etc....what a cop out. The details of our lives are just as food....like a jigsaw puzzle....but everyone falls for the bs that time for parlor games comes after death....so they can remain slaves...as thats all they know anyway....freedom is free people are just too cowardly to be so anymore.

I just want to know wno named the kennedy family's dog Porcia. Then leave the whole thing alone. Forget lol. Ya right.