Poor People From the City

When I was 16 years old it was my job to keep the bathrooms clean at Croton Point Park one summer. I basically learned a few guitar techniques from the ticket guy and read rip fucking van winkle under almost ancient trees, completely safe (or so I felt), with sun, without sun...whatever my wish...and the bathrooms were pristine..until the weekends. when 100s upon hundreds of people from the mostly the bronx I think...all descended upon the paradise and turned it into hell...but they seemed to love it...fresh air will do that to living creatures. Im talking diareah on the walls. Im talking fireman size hosing downs. I worked very hard on the weekends. Call me racist but I didnt mingle with the busloads of poor people from the bronx whose diareah I just washed off the walls...It was decades later that I started thinking about that story in terms of race. Mostly hard core african americans who played really fun music....Ring My Bell was a hit that year...it was  strange how openly sexual unattractive as they were horny people were....eever once as a child did I look at these people as "black" I literally categorized it as "poor people from the city". I had no animpsity whatsoever...nothing but a sense of humor...but the fact is...its the behavior that leaves used diapers sitting on tree stumpes for wild animals to unknowlingly eat it  with cotton and platisc diaper material...I mean there is no thought behind it...noy even laziness...maybe thepoeple forgto it...but I have the urge to drive back to where I saw this today (not croton point somehwre else) and remove it...I was too busy being andry to consider walking 1/4 mile deep into th ewoods to pick up memorial day spicnic garbade...why are their coyotes? because its required the woods be further raped to house people escaping their own backwards countries...bringing teh backwatrdsness here...my god I know Afroican poeple cant stand American Blacks for being more disgusting than whote poeple are disgusting in other ways...everyone is disgusting...IM trying to address the subject of over populkation by pointing out how sick of it I am when people romanticize disgusting human culture....and the stupidity that leaves us unable to discuss it honestly....Its ALL about poverty never skin color...but there were no white people, no asians, dont remember any latinos at the park on those weekedn every single one was African American (thats not an accurate enough term anymore its insulting to africans who have become american citizens...the american society has become so completely run on counterfeit materialism its beyond disgusting majority of the peope no matter what color...but in differnt ways. My experiecne with ameircan black as neighbors for the past 15+ years is that they are dirty, selfish, set horrible examples for their kids, violent for the stupidest reasons....and my right to try to describe my experience in life in written word is being outlawed..as everyone is dumbed down..to make way for the new chang dynasty....

Forcing the Middle Eastern Desert Countries in Becoming a Wealthy Solar World Power

It's always seemed to me that US has been bullying middle east over subject of oil but never really admits that willingly or openly. It's alwasy seemed wrong to me...and yet when I see nuclear power development...it feel slike why not...go ahead and slap the shit out of retarded idiots who will blow up the world in the name of whatever revenge they may well have any right to...but...enough...bringing feuds, wars, violence from other countries here is like being tricked into becoming a part of other people's obsession...Forcing the Middle Eastern Desert Countries in Becoming a Wealthy Solar World Power..has a more forgivable sounding karma to it...

Under the DESERTEC proposal, concentrating solar power systems, photovoltaic systems and wind parks would be spread over the desert regions in Northern Africa like the Sahara desert.^[9][10] Produced electricity would be transmitted to European and African countries by a super grid of high-voltage direct current cables.^[10][11] It would provide a considerable part of the electricity demand of the MENA countries and furthermore provide continental Europe with 15% of its electricity needs.^[9][12] By 2050, investments into solar plants and transmission lines would be total €400 billion.^[10] The exact plan, including technical and financial requirements, will be designed by 2012

Watching Those We Don't Much Lke Die Off Slowly

In a nutshell. I told a neighbro Ive known for almost 11 years about my serious pain in my breast today...she's been a nurse for  a few decades and is studying to be a Physicians Assistant...what she's good at is acting like she cares and was able to get rid of me pretty painlessly to not have the conversation about my symptoms...thats cool...people need to not mix up work and home it's commonly believed/understood/accepted anyway...but I also have a cousin in law who is the head of some breast cancer dept/program with some huge university hospital...when I sent him an email with a few simple questions...he didnt even as much as reply...not a word....and I am slowly accepting the reality that I will be allowed to fade out...Im not afraid as much as having to go out alone. This is why Im so beyond pissed at Birkam and Jane K when I think about old emails like 5 yrs ago when I begged Bikram to intervene and sopmehow help me undo the damage, because I could feel I was at a crucial place with my health...I knwo that if I had just been allowed to excel without her interference I would likely be rich for being so goddam healthy at my age-which is really proof, money in the bank, that I knwo what Im doing...because I was robbed of not only work, but ability to stay focused on practice at such a delicate time...it really was a life or death time...so the irony that I didnt fail, and yet Jane actually called all teh places I could work and insisted they not hire me, scared them with stories, lies, perhaps twisted trutsh etc...why does she get away with interfering?  Then it took on life of it's own...at 46 I still had some life left in me, I was strong before I went to training and strong thru it...until I was pushed too far at end and a tendon snapped, that took years to heal, 5 years later and for the first time I havent noticed it as much...and yet my body is so crashed, its all different. But it was more emotionally what the Birikram organization did to me after the training that ruined my health as fast as it fixed it...I held onto the belief fo rthe past 5 years that if they would jsut let me be and see how set up I was, I can still catch up and make everything alright...but my vulnerability is too tempting an opportunity for floriidian whores to not try to climb up on..The fall last year has officially made me old...my breast hurts so much right now...I will hold it and comfort myself, eat ice cream, watch TV, realize it could be worse, remember what an incredible time Ive had in life, and that Ive never met anyone I would trade places with...

I could go on and on, the list of doctors Ive wasted time with in my life...but the point is to explore the stupidity and irony...how much easier and convenient it is to simply call me crazy for being hurt, for being ignored, made to feel my life matters to no one and express that irony via this way...so hated for this that all these poeple I write about savor the day I will be gone, not one would lift a finger...what would be the point? Look how vulgar I am? In a nutshell my point here sums up the state of "Health Care" in our country....our disconnect from reality and any ability to be honest anymore without being overwhelmed by the insanity that would follow from people admitting theyve been lying to each other en masse....omg...

The tree  to human ratio is an indication of where cancer comes from, its like Morton Hears a Moo (Opposite of Horton) on a larger scale view...macro view....of the hell and the heat on it's way...hell is living with people from warn climate who cant help but turn the world into a giant parking lot without water and believe the constitution includes passages about donuts and rights to BBQ in times of drought....

5K Walk for Herpes Banners and Signs of Life

Yesterday I was driving south on 9 when I saw a banner hanging off an overpass bridge that said "5K Walk For Herpes" date time stuff etc. Totally looked like a real sign but I laughed so hard I wanted to get off the next exit turn around and get a photo. I started thinking about how surprisingly bold and progressive it seemed, imagined how weird it might be, and then proceeded to forget about it. That is until today when I was again driving south on 9 and this time had my camera ready. Unfortunately it was gone! It seemed so abruptly not there anymore, considering it's a holiday weekend I wondered who would be in such a hurry to take it down? Maybe an art collector with a sense of humor...actually I didn't think that until tonight. Because later on today, I saw little signs stuck in the road that said "5K Walk for Heroes" It took a few seconds to sink in...then I realied someone must have been having a little fun...But if it wasnt someone who took the sign as a souvenir, it breaks my heart to have to imagine something much worse...like a culture full of soldiers, half of which went to war for the money and or to avoid jail time, who not only lost their sense of humor, but would have cops tryign to get fingeprints o rcheck video surveillance or god knows wht, to spend time looking for a group of pranksters who brought a smile to a lot of peoples faces probably...I think of Hawkeye in M*A*S*H and a world thats been turned into a culture that by law now requires the US to be a bunch of Frank Burns without the comedy, with governor's repeating incredibly stupid bumper sticker phrases like "Freedpom isn't Free!!" That has to be the dumbest, most full of shit, non sensical goddam thing Ive ever heard.

What are we fighting for? The right to keep playing dumb that China owns your goddam cowardly asses. Hile.

I Always Thought Etan Was Alive

As tortuous as it must have been for Etan's parents to wonder if he were still alive somewhere in the world, I can't imagine that their hearts aren't more broken then ever. I certainly hope they have the strength to go on living with the weight of the latest info on their minds. I can barely sleep tonight...obsessed with the knowledge that I used to go into this store. Although there were 3 grocery stores around Prince St from Bway to West Bway I frequented...$1 watermelon everyday with a bitchy old chinese woman Jeanne and I used to laugh about...Walking every day in 1986-87 from work at 612 Bway to loft where I lived at 425 Broome. They're saying the address is 448 Prince St I think. "News" being vague and unspecific as ever...

 

I didnt give it that much thought until recently obviously...I was alwasys convinced Etan Patz was alive...Ironically every time I saw a pic of Dexter...even their eyebrows look identical....I don't make this comment smugly or lightly...I wanted to believe Etan just forgot who he was for some reason...but was ok...

Although this is not the same block with Rocks on Your Head Record Store on it, which I think is where theyre saying it happened...according to NYTimes this video (click pic below) is the actual bodega where it happened with detective speaking to one of the counter people. If this is the case, Im fascinated by how relieved he looks when cop leaves..could just be nerves from camera, and situation in general...but...guess the cops were too busy beating up pretty girls on the subway to know how to pay attention to the thing sthat matter...like pulling over one of the 911 attackers the day before for speeding...and the "news" for keeping us updated on Justin Beiber and his talentless girlfriend...people hate each other underneath it all..and it shows. Now theyre telling me to eat tuna fo healthy skin according to some nameless "report"...guess they didnt watch The Cove. When I think of it they should be sued for giving me bad medical advice no? Reputable sources claim all fish has mercury poisoning potential but god forbid they would do anything but stealth advertizing to line their pockets to afford their overpaid asses...

Although I write like a suicidal asshole at times...I really dont want troible and only wish I had answers for why my own life was destroyed. Can't help but make the connections between all the unnecessary stupidity that has taken its toll...What happened to Etan is haunting me....But Im skeptical because the police obviously got some kind of tip about a basement months ago from someoen who knew more than they're saying, the date, all of it is too easy...Im wondering also if they didnt find some other terminally ill Chester Molester and promised his wife and kid million dollar publishing deal opportunities to take care of them when he's dead...that's the world we live in...and why the real truth matters most of all...I could imagine Etan's parents committing suicide more than feeling closure...misinformation is dangerous...Although what she did to me doesn't come close of course...But from heaven's pov lies are the fabric of the shared hate pool that ends up strangling babies in basements...Jane Kartsch, Pedro Hernandez, Deborah Moore are all from the same gene pool. Jane Kartsch was probably Pedro's art teacher in the Bronx...we like to think there are 15 serial killers walking around on the entire planet and like the lottery chances slim to none we'll run into one of them...Sadly I had to run into Deboraj Moore and Jane Kartsch, who made me realize more than ever you really never know.

Dario Franchitti Drinks Ronny Brook Milk at Indy 500 Winner's Chug

Dario Franchitti Drinks Ronny Brook Milk at Indy 500 Winner's Chugg? It's certainly looks like a Ronny Brook Farms milk bottle anyway. More likely it's from a local farm closer to the Indy 500...but in any case isn't it fascinating how they will make sure NOT to show the label or a name on the bottle whichever the case? It's probably the same bottle they use every year as a prop but how pathetic that no one ever thinks to give that tiny little billboard to some organic farm?

 

Why would a major network give mention to a struggling, hard working farmer after all? They probably don't have old fashioned milk bottles from organic dairy farms in circulation in Indiana? But it had to come from somewhere...so I will go on thinking it came from my favorite local dairy farmers at Ronny Brook in Anacram (sp?) NY.

 

Pedro Hernandez 101

If this really is the guy people involved need to fill 100 scientific text books with irrefutable facts about Pedro Hernandez. I can't quickly despise him because I dont fully accept he did it...but if someone were paying me to hand a screenplay draft to Etan's father, based on what we/ve been told so far, it would go like this: Pedro promised Etan a grape soda, or a Mountain Dew maybe (I was ADDICTED to and dreamed about Mt Dew when I was as young as Etan) Just like my mom ould forbid me from having to much sugar, I would find a way....so on this day Pedro was going to give Etan a free soda by first coming down into the basement with him (Pedro) and perhaps in the same way I had  19 year old hypertestosteroned honduran male ask me to touch his penis when I was only about 8 years old, in the presence of my 2 slightly older cousins (who were actually partially responsible for taunting him)...my point is it is probably so incredibly common  for half the pop to have experienced something like this....it comes down to....let's see? I imagine Etan becoming gradually more frightened an dthen perhaps freaking out and screaming "Help!" which made Pedro strangle him to shut him up so as to protect his job, his freedom....maybe accidentally killing him? Or maybe a kind of repressed resentment towards a scrawny little white boy who had so much money when his poor family was suffering far away etc...before this guy dies this stuff needs to come out for human evolution if people really mean what they say about Etan's loss not being in vain...

I dont mention the family friend who technically "molested" me at such a young age, to embarrass him...I was not hurt in anyway...and I dont believe this person had a mean or violent bone in his body (no pun)....talking about stuff like this is partly why my family close to the hondoran family dont speak to me anymore...THAT hypocrisy is worse than any "molestation". What a joke that I would be expected to use this "molestation" as an excuse to explain this crazy thing or that crazy behavior the way poeple do...sometimes kids are not so lucky so Im not generalizing but Id venture to guess that more often than not "sex crime" is based on misunderstanding and accidental hormal releases blah blah blah..If that person ever read this? I would want him to accept MY apology for discussing something so potentially life ruining (for both of us)...god people are so cookie cutter stupdi...thats the problem isnt is? 

The American population as a whole is of the kind of mindset that would rather believe drowning the Patz family in standardized, commonly acceptable, Hallmark sympathy cards approach to grieving...the meaninglessness is only an indication of the real and actual indifference that has us not looking out for each other very well in the first place...people will all sign the cast "Get well soon!" 1000 times right next to the person who sign same thing next to theirs...because they care that much and no more...Etan deserves more than that.. a few of my male cousins (italian side) and other neighborhood boys growing up never whipped their penisi out at me although they sai dthe darndest things....however a white boy up the street raped a little girl who lived across teh street from me while growing up (she was maybe 10 yrs old?) SO I guess it's stupid to go race on the machismo theory...

I want someone to record Pedro Hernandez tell teh story 20,0000 times without him knowing he's being recorded all of the time...so teh picture will ring true or not...and poeple will see within their own souls their own ability to be a 19 yr old murderer...we're surrounded by murderers. I se zero difference between Pedro Hernandez and Jane Kartsch simply because of the sheer stupidity factor...stupud scum of the earth self important idiocy...if only pedro Hernandez had strangled Jane Kartsch? Nah...butterfly effect...who knwos what would ripple in the wrong direction...right direction? How does one know when were right with the universe? With god?

But I live with so many violent morons who want to fix problems with more violence that someone will probably kill the guy before we get a chance to hear some truth...

WWMKD

The toughest thing for me about back injury is Im damned if I move, damned if I don't...as it flairs up even watching TV becomes painful...body hurts from too much stillness, so depressing to walk like an old lady, body falls apart every other which way from too much resting....maddening...on top of that I have squatty tatooed old lady gangy neighbors calling me "evil" because her rapist ass son ended up in jail this week, other ones talking about my "ass gonna get a beating! Not now but it's coming!" Because she heard about MY LIFE on youtube...Jane Kartsch, and Jackie and patty and Donna etc (bikram yoga teachers) are the type to instigate the dumbest, most likely to throw punches onto their side...so much hell created in my life ever since I tried to make a living as a yoga teacher....so much talk about suicide only makes me more pathetic since I never actually do it (and hopefully will not ever be taken to that place where there is no other escape)

But anyway this morning when I woke up and tried to turn over, a new problem has made itself apparent. I thought the hot burning shooting pain in middle of my breast was from laying on gathered sheets or corner of a pillow. As I tried to adjust I realized the only thing there was me, my flash, my breast, with it's inverted nipple that I had to pull out carefully with my fingers..I immediately thought about a friend named Lynn who opened my eyes to the signs and symptoms of her breast cancer years ago the burning she felt...a year before she died...

But of course Im back into my denial, perfectly ok without having health insurance and little more than the ridiculous "minority" birthing house in town they call a medical clinic down the street...It will make Bikram Choudhury SO happy to hear that his powerful karma is successfully beating up on mine...that my psycho blogging will stop soon enough hopefully...and everyone can go back to raping each other physically or emotionally without fear...

Shit there shoot sthe pain again :( This is new. Have to admit. Im a little scared...but forever amazed that no one has ever given a shit about me anyway...my body is decaying so rapidly, maybe this is why...Barley a year and a half ago I was a totally different person, relatively healthy, at least compared to this...all the weight Ive gained..up and down so many times surely has a lot to do with it....I will probably do what Lynn did...let it take me...asking why to the end. Lynn was much more forgiving then me though. I will also be SCREAMING fuck you everyone to the end.

Bikram Choudhury give my mother back the $6000 she gave you and shuv the other $3000 scholarship up your trisexual ass.

Whore Moans

As much as I want to know why this guy Hernandez killed Etan Patz, I hate the ida of Mr Patz having to hear anything worse than the strangulation they're talking about. I think it was on this blog that I wrote about the recent investigation hardly being a waste of time when some idiot made a stupid comment. I specifically wrote about how stirring things up to get people to talk being just like sifting for golden information...I hope this isn't just more made up police stuff, because I do believe that's the way it shoudl work...people should be inspired to care and ask the hard questions of each other by the media as opposed to chronic hunger games shit...Its kind of crazy its exactly the 30th anniversary..I dunno...Mabe Mr Patz and the rest of us will have to endue deeper analysis for the sake of Etan's life not being for naught...? He too probably has a monkey mind and would choose real closure after thinking for so many years the wrong person did it...

If Hernandez however doesn't turn out to be just a great psycho actor going into some witness protection program,  he perhaps could do something truly historical and explain who the fuck does something so horrible, so pointless, so gd sad...

Cool Compass

How do I explain this? I was so inspired by Nancy(?) Kellerman at their last residents meeting for Tappan Zee Project I drove all the way down to their meeting tonight to offer another body's support and whistle....Expecting to see a whole lot of fired up home owners who are being asked to endure psycho-sonic hell for the next 5 years from construction etc...instead it was ultra controlled with write in questions and a sound system that twanged so often it was tortuous to listen to the robotic monotone drone for about 1.5 hrs(?) Anyway......I barely had $10, no gas...I almost asked David Carlucci's assistant if he could spare $2, and not just to be a wiseass...But I didn't..Point is when I left the High School I wanted a coffee so bad even though I couldn't afford it...found myself imagining knowing one of the  the starbuckers, or making them laugh hard enough into giving me an IOU coffee or something...So thats why...the following is so crazy...

I was driving through Nyack center around 9:30ish, headed south on 9W, I couldnt remember where the Starbucks was exactly...The street was quiet so I pulled over with my flashers on to ask an old lady with an umbrella which way to go. As I followed her direction to make the left at next light I almost hit a girl who was driving without her headlights on. I motioned to her and she put down her window and I told her "Lights!" She was very sweet and thanking me,  apologized etc...we laughed about almost crashing waiting for the light...Her name is Tawny (sp?) and when I asked her if she knew how far down Starbucks was she said "Omg! I work for Sarbucks!" She called in a comp coffee for me...This is the kind of shit that happens often enough to really make me wonder...I haven't been to Nyack in I dont know how many years...

The kismet was obviously much more than simply a 3 or 4 dollar gift for me...it's the only relationship Ive ever had in my life that I can count on...It sucks being alone, but my compass is cool...

Contractor Cos Obviously Not From Any CA Bridge Building Experience

Driving under the Tacponic Highway bridges that run over rt 202 in Yorktown you will see at least 12 major cracks running top to bottom and probably dozens more smaller...I almost pulled over-alwasy have to remind myself no one gives a shit about my opinion so why waste my time and end up getting a ticket etc...anyway...I know from expereicne that if I ask anyone they will say "Oh that's just superficial, not dangerous blah blah blah" ... I'll never forget, I guess this is almost 10 years ago? When I noticed the prefabricated facing they put on the bridges today to make them look like the old actual stoneworkers they used to depend on...all this replace with as much temporary our counterfeit money can buy to hustle forward the brilliant, impressive takeover that is occurring...Tappan Zee doesnt appear to even be listed on the list of longest Bridges in the World...there are 100s, ridiculously long...more than half in China....I htink the only reason China hasnt bombed the shit outr of the US at this point is because they see how easily the lowest common denominator can be bought out (since Nixon?) and have patiently waited decades to re educate the masses...Go AMC!  For example with all this world domination going on and ruinination of the delicate eco systems etc...the most popular thing US citizens want to talk about is how we can offer new perspectives on anal sex to be introduced to the lives of 10 year olds (who see it all, take it all in somehow)...and could be thinking about a million other things ...but that's REALLY the biggest issue right now huh? That's what americans want their radiowaves resonating with out there because paying off our debts across the planet by being brave enough to admit our policy on Marijuana and Hemp farming isn't THE stupidest hypocrisy of all time? I dont want to smoke pot! I wanted to own a farm for the past 20 yrs naively clueless as to how impossible that woudl be for me.....I want to make money that's worth making...Who the fuck is going to pay fpr the goaddam bridge to be built? Talk about it afterwards? But jail crazies like me with big mouth? omg...slap slap slap....Gov would allow SA or CH private companies to come in takle over and my new job there will be what? Servicing the 10,000 latino construction workers in their motel rooms?  Just like my grandparents farm in NC now with Crackerbarrels and Holiday Inns and Hilton (Expresses of course) side by side with green pooled red roof inns and too many boarded up strip clubs and old billboards of their favorie girlies for the overwhelmed 8 yr olds to start early choosing the safest sexual preferences...give me a fkn break.

Gay? What does that mean? These are trap buzz words I think...thats why Im being so disgusting because there is no other way to express the rage and anger at the idiots who should know better! Right! that we need to be open minded and not judgmental about millions of people who enjoy tearing apart their anal tissue when sometimes there just isnt anymore vaseline....even anal sex depends on the oil industry...... then I have to listen to these represssed psycho idiots who for the first time in their lives are hypocritically becoming kinda clingy?

Bult 1936 270,000 Daily Croosings 10 Lanes currently...Why do we pretend the Lego crap these disinterested lug head contractors would ever compete in Bridge Building?

San Francisco – Oakland Bay Bridge
Carries	10 lanes (5 westbound on upper level, 5 eastbound on lower) of I-80
Crosses	San Francisco Bay via Yerba Buena Island
Locale	San Francisco and Oakland
Maintained by	California Department of Transportation
ID number	++++++34+0003
Designer	Charles H. Purcell
Design	Double-decked Suspension, Cantilever Bridge, Truss causeway and Tunnel
Material	Steel, concrete
Total length	West span: 10,304 feet (3,141 m) East span: 10,176 feet (3,102 m) Total: 4.46 miles (7.18 km) excluding approaches
Width	5 traffic lanes totaling 57.5 feet (17.5 m)
Height	West: 526 feet (160 m)[1]
Longest span	West: two main spans 2,310 feet (700 m) East: one main span 1,400 feet (430 m)
Vertical clearance	Westbound minimum 14 feet (4.3 m), with additional clearance in some lanes
Clearance below	West: 220 feet (67 m) East: 191 feet (58 m)
Construction begin	July 8, 1933
Opened	November 12, 1936; 75 years ago
Toll	Cars (east span, westbound only) $6.00 (rush hours) $2.50 (carpool rush hours) $4.00 (weekday non-rush hours) $5.00 (weekend all day)
Daily traffic	270,000

"Creating Jobs" Buzz Word Filler

Letter to the Editor: Proposed Tappan Zee Bridge is 'Mega Debacle'

There's deception going on in in the rivertowns, writes citizen Cane. Fix the existing bridge.

• May 23, 2012

What is going on in the small river towns?

There are deceptions being played out in Westchester and the Rockland Counties.

It is a call to ‘bring jobs to this corridor,' fast track a huge bridge without extensive review, limit local community committee involvement, refuse to conduct extensive and community involved studies on the environment in regard to air, water, river species, etc. Do not make anything transparent.

What is the motto?

The motto of some politicians during this re-election period is “Fast track.” This bridge is being fast-tracked without concern for communities, uncaring regarding creation of unbearable noise, endless pollution, health issues, and horrendous traffic issues within the river towns. This is just plain greed and politics working at its worst.

Not all the unemployed are in the construction business. These jobs will be doled out to the lowest bidder and where do you think the workforce will come from?  It may not be from New York State or Union Workers. How unbelievable that non-union workers from out of state and paid less would be used. Believe it!

More information needs to be disseminated, more studies need to be done, and more questions asked and answered. What are the costs and impact of such a megaproject within these communities? All this needs to be examined under a microscope for a longer period of time.

Did anyone follow the news of I-287 and Ridge Hill issues that came to light AFTER the projects were in full swing? In addition, you can’t blame the current bridge for all the traffic on I-287. It will always be so.

See STREETSBLOG.org for more information on the Smart Growth Public Infrastructure Policy Act.

“Under the law, the state should only build projects that support sustainability and downtown revitalization, not sprawl.” The person in STREETSBLOG who wrote the above got it right.

This article should be reprinted in more newspapers, and spoken about in more news outlets.

It is so transparent to many who live in the affected towns. A megaproject is being rushed through without more environmental studies, without regard for the major negative input of such a project will have on these communities. This major disruption will spread through many towns not just those immediately east and west of the bridge.

Again, it is apparent that the people of these communities do not matter to some politicians. What matters is only the politics of getting elected and moving on to higher positions without regard to communities of senior citizens, families of all types, businesses, etc. in the path of this absurdity.

You can talk about mass transit. However, more cars and buses will move onto and off of this proposed mega bridge. The problem is all this traffic will funnel to t the same the same roadways. What will be next…tearing up all roadways near this bridge and more years of disruption? Are we looking at 15-20 years of pure chaos!  Many of us won’t be alive to see the ending…only the great disruption and chaos caused by such a mega project while it is ongoing.

People are not stupid…fix the existing bridge… It most certainly can be done. Don’t listen to the Nay Sayers.

Leave the likes of the George Washington Bridge, The Brooklyn Bridge, etc. where they are. Did any of the politicians involved every look at the river towns… They do not remotely resemble a big city and that is why many of us moved here and not there.

Construction of such major proportion does not fit well into this area. Fix the existing bridge. If you must build, construct up the county, with more roadway connectors, and a new bridge. See what happens and who would oppose upcounty!

Plenty of people will oppose including some politicians!

- Buzz Cane, IV, Tarrytown

Big Investors Getting Better Info?

Facebook just revealed sleezy wallstreet for what it is...doesnt have to be that way...and for that theyre trying to bully him/them...I dont have $38...someone please buy me one share?

House Finale

I wish I saw more than the last 20 minutes...But from what I gather House was facing prison, the loss of his career  and loss of his best friend Wilson. He responded by fixating and contemplating a fiery suicide while hallucinating conversations with faces from his and our past when he decided not to commit suicide, driven back to life by his love of the puzzle, he was trapped in that building — a trap he was unable to escape?...But he did! with a surprise text reveal to Wilson (and us) at his own funeral. I dont know why poeple say they saw him as a drug-abusing doctor emotionally abusing everyone-when the whole point was that he could because he was gifted and special and people should put up with people when they're so special no?...when did people really swallow the shit about all men are created equal-its such chinese proaganda more than US really, disempowering the individual...long live the superiority complexers...

ANyway it was the most beautiful statement about true love...between two guys no less..a dash of Easy Rider as they Harley away for a while...That's how I would have liked to have died, living freely, with my best friend the exceptionally gifted healer, comforting me making me laugh, cuddling me before I close my eyes for the last time and then buries me upright somewhere in a place like Harriman State Park 7 feet under without anything between my corpse and the dirt...

Anyway my original point was it was so nice to see a great love story between friends, between 2 men, without sex being a part of the equation...and are we really required by law now to think of a penis in a stool filled anus as a normal healthy natural thing? Seriously? I mean go do it but why do kids in school have to be taught that this is the future lol?  I sound backwards for saying that out loud? Honestly? The greatest indicator of the downward spiral set in motion for past 20-30 years, that the US is owned by China and Saudi Arabia, is made clear with gay "marriage" as a key issue for the past 11 years in presidential elections...its a carefully crafted propaganda that makes US citizens a bigger target during wartimes-it inspires rage in the enemies of the US, picturing a bunch of obese self indulgent ... Today there is a large enough population that knows marijuana is not reefer madness, and all the Nixon, Reagan Bush propaganda CAN be reversed if men would just grow some balls and re educate the hypocrits as per necessary, slap them when they cling...and consider this might be the only option left to pay our way our of international debt to other countries who see this option to make the BILLIONS in tax revenue that CA makes...brb...

psotscript Im not against men taking their urge to rape out on each other...its a free country...Im against neurotic freaks "victims of bullying" being handed the keys to redefining normal, with their penchant for writing sex crime laws and "hate" crime laws as if emotional, individual experience now needs to be standardized...its so late I can barely se ethe key board...but need to publish anyway...life is short

Bullllllllying Facebook

It's simply become an accepted, basic way in which most people treat each other.  NASDAQ computer systems were overwhelmed friday morning and its typical of impatient, computer illiterate, even semi-illiterate computer people to resort to covering their tracks with distractions that have in this situation turned into gossip about overvaluation, and rumors about insider trading etc etc...because that's all they know how to talk about, stupid poeple who think the rest of us wouldnt be interested to know that so and so's nephew got the IT job...

what kind of person, or company, firm, government would hit facebook with a lawsuit? Sabotage, communist dictatorship oriented governments...whoever has that biggest hardon fantasy of driving Zuckerberg like a rental Bentley (aka Bental) I guess they will be allowed to have their way.....American's dont want wealth, on the whole don't even know the true meaning of the word.  Its that indifference about whatever it takes to pay bills, and respect for whatever fucktard is signing the paychecks, still rears its ugly head through something...somehow it will come out, the frustration, the repression, the emptiness...bunch of cowardly hypocritical sellouts...so in other words poeple have more fun watching someone like Mark Z get ripped down, and dont care to look any deeper at such hijackings in order to protect the trust factor in any wealth....

Why Republicns Detest Democrats

Local news stories the past couple of days about businesses charging different prices for men and women at dry cleaners and nail salons. The idea that anyone is paid, let alone agencies that use taxdollars to police such retarded issues....as if giving men a break because they do it a lot more often at one and less at the other is such a horrible thing?  Obviously if a woman was down on her luck and nicely asked for a break, Im sure most would charge her the men's price etc...but god forbid anyone should have to reveal financial trouble publicly...might make them want to kill themselves? Apparently it's that bad in Bedford...the more I think about it...I have no right to write about this, and I apologize to the family for it but...honestly? Who the fuck kills themselves when they have kids so young? If she really did that as they say, BK should despise her for the scars she'll selfishly leave on the kids psyches...Anytie Ive ever seen BKennedy in an interview it's absolutely amazing how brilliant he is, how he knows absolutely everything about everything and seems to still stay down to earth and patient when talking to idiots (like myself included) Its alwasy seemed such a shame that he's stopped from being a greater force it seems-no accident Im sure...but people dont appreciate..they dont deserve...anyway  I keep loosing my train of thought. Hypocrisy is whats at issue...communication break downs because Americnas have managed to turn being glutaneous into something cute...until now...the shits gonna hit the fan..it has to.

Also the idea that out there is some vindictive doosh who shoots pix of Whitney Houston's daughter sitting at a gambling machine...and there is actually a "probe" underway, after all that just happened in her life no less...this is bullying.... that is mentally torturing a kid who just lost her mom...and tax money is us3ed for that?  because some asshole says shit like "She's just like everyone else an should be treated like evryone else..." give me a break...

Republicans are also soldiers for the dark side always...Pharmy money got Nan Hayworth elected and now the county is on brink of bankruptcy disaster on purpose...its all a part of Asian takeover...a long term plan...and people like her think they'll take the job and try to do what they can to alter the coming reality forgiving themselves from simply refusing to recognize it in the first place...like most, all politicans really....brb

Testing

123

Revulsion in the Aire

One of my downstairs neighbors once discussed having a great time at a party, loudly in bldg hallway. He described a scene that had at least one woman and I think a few, on all fours being told to lick the bottom of his sneakers at risk of being harmed in some way. Im purposely trying not to exaggerate. I've had to block it somewhat out of my memory because here I am still living across the balsa halls with the same guy ripping open our electric closet (apparently to turn back on his own electric since ConEd shut him down day before). His took out my computer by accident?  When I was talking to ConEd next morning to figure out what had happened (to make me loose that computer, 10 years worth of work on a film project, and the lists goes on) he came at me in a way that was borderline physically threatening, screaming about how Im so crazy that I "can't even call the police if you needed help!" He laughed.

Click here on photo to see exactly how dangerous and threatening I am to police:

To cut the the chase, (this is all on video of course, like half my fkn life, which is why I so boldly react by telling the haters and any doubter to shuvit up orifice of choice while I turn into Howard Cosell) I have ample reason to believe that this could have been set up by police who have been reading about or watching themselves on youtube since 2005 (I had my own youtibeability ask Park Officer RJ Cutler) ..... How you doing RJ Cutler? He personally interfered with the Putnam County Judge's decision to only fine me a processing fee of $25 for walking my dog in Fahnstock at 8:30 at night on my way home from Carmel. After she'd hit her gavel (and 200 other people who went before me had left me solo) RJ Cutler whispered to her something liek "But your honor 627vof89754to9090..." and the judge looked at me and said "Sorry. That'll be $75." They're vindictive fuckers. The pathetic thing is that they come after me to hurt me in the most primitive ways because theyre too lazt to make their own forums to discuss their own POV...simply for discussing the shit that happened to me they want to teach me lessons etc etc ...This is the kind of bullying that effects the adult world, the economy and the residue that ends up on playgrounds...if anyone wanted http://www.senasqua.com/rjcutler/

If you go to intelligencefordummies.com you would hear me trying to explain to the FBI how the thin blue line has resulted in rendering me so powerless that I can't even try to come to the aid of a child who may have been being pimped out by her mother (another lovely neighbor).  Ironically all I had done years ago was talk to a couple neighbors, suggested they keep an eye out for her. I never even called the goddam police about it because I have ptsd with cops for one and I wasnt 100% sure anyway...but the thing was my neighbors held it against me I found out (years) later because I guess of the way some kind of investigation may have taken place but it had the manager's daughter one day say to me on the phone "I know what you did to Mrs so and so in 8A" (I recorded this call of course also).....I had called them, the management office to complain about their new practice of harassing me with $20 fines anytime I leave my car in a visitor's parking spot while my own was vacant...it started in 2008, got up to about $120 and went on for years (till this January in fact ask Judge Langdan how he spells bullying) when I would read these letter that included dates and times of my comings and goings by this jerk manager and his daughter for the past 10 years...Its partially  being a single woman, partially my obnoxious personality, but mostly it's because of the thin blue line) this is what I was hoping to ATTEMPT to explain to someone who might simply have advice...I recorded the phone call because it was a coppy situation and I have just about every official conversation in any situation since 1993 on tape ever since the beating...I only sound crazy to anyone who's reading this and thinks Im trying to play Hemingway...Everything I wrote is all just a long goddam record...long recordings of the disbelief and sad reality Im in it all alone...how vulnerable we are when there are no witnesses....until the day I get my apology....

it only takes ONE unwanted youtube upload to make any person on the street want to take matter into own cave man hands...the cops are just now starting to get what Ive been holding up as a mirror since 1993...I can afford to look like a fool over committing suicide for what? A lot of stupid shallow hateful people who kill as easily as they pee?

I feel like Ive just spent the past 20 years

Sidenote: Neighbors just knocked on my door to ask me of I knew wtf happened to the dryer and mentioned the other neighbor who fkd up my computer had the whole pd arresting him for something this morning....crazy see? I dont what I was writing about anymore, one day I'll bother to go over it...for now all I know is every blog Ive written since 1999 has been a cry for help...and the reality ois Ive for the most pe=art been ignored and worse have just had things made worse, so bad that people have all but stopped me from ever being able to have a career....one day someone is going to go thru all this with me and shape it into one giant slap for me.

Don Leffler Vista StrEt LA

Who is this guy who texts me that Ive won $1000 walmart gift card from your last purchase? What tf is a Don Lettler?

Domain Name: VCARDSECURE.COM
Registrar: MONIKER

Technical Contact [3847797]:
        dan lettler reply.4.relief@gmail.com
        343 Vista Street
        los angeles
        CA
        90024
        US
        Phone: +1.3232873064
        Fax:   +1.9492873064

Hate Factor and Poverty: How we keep Poverty around like a weapon

Gabe told me that some woman came into the store a couple of weeks ago and pointed out how illegal my dog treats were, and scared him out of selling them (so he says). I was trying to put gas in my car an dthen maybe make enough to drive to White Plains and pay the $32(?) for a DBA.

On TV tonight some recall with Chinese company, Fox news just reports that a thousand complaints have been lodged (somewhere) and dogs have gotten sick but no recall as of yet and Im sure the same lady doesn't care in the least about them...makes me realize how people create poverty as a control ...and really the trust factor in major trouble as our only problem...i dont know anything about this woman is but I despise her and now long to slap her.....because whoever this woman was I believe knew me personally and was more concerned with interfering in my business than she was concerned about anything going on with dog biscuits going wrong. 

Just like my neighbor on the recording http://www.goodbyecruelworld.org people go DIGGING for mental boxing matches. I believe that is what happened to Nick Santino the actor with the dog and evil condo board...I fully understand the preference to turn the torture off once and for all when its coming from all sides and there seems no way out...the irony that people create this murderously hateful situation over what...makes me long for the better place...when your still young, your eggs want to be impreEGGnated and hormones drive us I guess to a larger degree than we would want to admit so we still struggle, fight I guess...but when they diminish it's just as, still actually wonderful to recall how hot sex was on occasion...I can dwell on a fond memory for hours or weeks..better than popcorn...anyway....americans hate for and towards each other is what is doing us in...the same way I went to Nancy Kennedy when I was homeless for Cully's number to get permission to stay in the guest house and before I could get through she called them and Billy C. (?) told me she'd just called him and had advised him it was a bad idea!!!! That homes were harder to sell when someone was living there were his exact words....and these were the economically best times. Who's crazy? WHo the fuck treats me this way and why? Everyone will point to any afterthought REACTION, blogging since 1999! I was the one who explained concept of freeware to Charles Fairfax! The guys with the billions, the guy swith the badges, the authority, the scalpels, the stenographers live off of my retarded ideas and I have no gas to drive anywhere...most of the time...concerned about pennies...how to keep a moron busy? Dan Barber asked me to organize a group yoga class for his staff (lol) for his people and when I approached Jacqui she looked at me SO angrily "Are you crazy? You dont have insurance! You're not a teacher!" and kept repeating "Are you out of your mind?" over and over...I bet she called Stone Barns to distance herself from me and made Dan look at me completely differently...That other woman gallery owner from crouton too, was SO bothered when they saw my FARMY tshirts in the cafe...that wasnt art to her, as she passed out Andrew Lattimer cards...wendy...wendy something....This is why its all been ruined...just plain old hate....thats the source fo poverty and I cant stand when people pretend its anything else...

GoodbyeCruelWorld.Org

I remember walking into the DMV in LA to renew my license in 1990 and striking up a conversation with a Sierra Club dude who ended up screaming at me "I hope you get raped".... because I wouldnt sign his petition...I had made the mistake of pointing out the waste of paper he was making or something..I think that was how it started...then of course it was a woman cop who deat the shit out of my head in 1993, and thatsame year I think, all these local assholes like Sue Grant start writing letters to local papers about men abusing women....her sister in law, my bff since 5th grade didnt lift a finger to help me during either incident...too stupified I thpought found out later sehd alwats hated me etc..anywayway what ios my point again? Oh ya:

Anyone who ever walked through NYC through the 80s and 90s remembers the Woman Against Pornography chick's tables around town. I will never forget walking through intersection at the Plaza wearing torn up jeans in platform shoes and a little bare belly top, on the arm of Mr Charles Fairfax (Sydney Morning Herald until his other adopted brother gave it to Murdoch)...(I drop his name because he is my witness). This kunt, who I will probably never have opportunity to slap, yelled at me through the megaphone "What do you call that? The raped look?" I had just been raped about 1.5 years prior ironically. Charles's jaw dropped when I left my top and flashed her...I guess this was why he invited me to  fly to Cancun a few months later, and hates me to this day for not having sex with the poor rich child...Having sex with charles (at that time anyway) would have been like making love with a tadpole, zygote...but he did shoot lots of photos (along with dozens of others) of me doing Bikram Yoga on the beach in Mexico....this was August 1992. All I talked about with him the whole time was how bad Reagan was and how evil american republicans were....I have a photo he took of me holding up the paper down there in Cancun with headline about Clinton winning primary or something...that what also lost on my old computer that a neighbor blew up by going into the electrical closet...these kinds of incidents are of no interest to local police...they prefer to come spend hours outside my door telling me IM not allowed to say "mean things" on the internet...I am SO fucking not kidding...I am SO fckn not exaggerating...should I link the YouTube videos?...Im sure he still has copies...so there I was doing Bikram Yoga a full decade before these kunt yoga teacher witches in Westchester "All about love!" BULLSHIT!!!!!!!! Load of crap...

I had written a song that got a little radio airplay on fmu, that was called Romeo Cannadee..so I got teased a lot about it...but i also embraced the waves...it was like big wave surfing I guess...I mean even Charles Fairfax's mom was a big musical patron of the arts...so I really did believe bigger things were happening..it was about 6 months later that PO Deborah Moore beat my head in with her knee and Brian Wohl (now living in Farquay Varina NC) .... SO many things I got to enjoy throughout my life without any money for most fo it....It became like a sport I guess...I never had sex with hardly anyone eoither to be careful no one would ever assume that was how I got around...but poeple do that anyway sadly...

Anyway I was exiled up to the Catskill after the beating. No one wanted anything to do with me anymore. Even Jonathan Demme had been my friend, asked me to babysit a few time for Brooklyn...this all changed as in BOOM. Gone suddenly Im in weschester for a few weeks and the ctaskilsls for a few years...to shut me up....

I remember hearing about a lecture Bobby Kennedy was giving, I think at the New SChool(?) and I was so disappointed, I had no car, no gas, no way to travel for years...but I called the school's reception desk and asked if they would hold up a phone. I dont think it was even a cell phone as this was easrly 90s, and I was on a corded rotary phone in the mountains...the point of the story is IT WAS INVENTIVE. Although many others have done something like that in their lives for one reason or another (perhaps)-it's dififerent when a Kennedy is in the picture-because everyone SEES the good idea and STEALS the good idea...I'll never forget the first times I started seeing that move written into movies, or TV ads etc....I mean now today its such a nomal thing to do it sounded crazy to try to claim that in anyway...but my life has been full of stuff like that....and I cant help but compare the facts to why I am broke, and so ostracized and so roadkill

Corey Booker May Your Asshole

There was just something about the braggart way politicians do their thing that is revolting.  They should sling away as much sling as possible.......but the ability to recognize people making up their sling only needs to get better. and punishment much more severe......for her feloniuos police reporting ass I think Jane Kartsch should locked in a stock where I can slap her all day long and spit fro as long as I need to figure out how someone is supposed to act when their chance to have a family is burned out from under.....because Jane or Cory or Donna or Jaq or Patty or John or (too many suspects on my murdered asses list)  resorting to lies to make themselves ruler deserves chinese prisons...Ok I see, I guess there is a similiarity to the relief in slapping the shit out of a woman who killed your children say? I mean turn the other cheek into a fan kick got edited out maybe?

 I noticed some kind of photoshoppy shit, or maybe it was just the way he was deliberately holding the bandages up for cameras while photo opping...behind his fire rescue a a few weeks ago that made me wonder how far they went to stage that "rescue"etc...I wondered how far fetched it would be for them to have set first themselves? Thats how Christy is blackmailing him? Or maybe the guy just weawy weawy wants to be super duper famous and its showing?

Everybody wantsta make mamma SO proud...but most will lie to do it and the rare few who dont have to get squashed...all humans are snake pit cock roaches with great wardrobes.

Next Time Blog Your Suicide Notes. Oh Wait. No More Next Times I Guess.

I only caught the last 30 minutes or so of House last night...but it was so amazingly right on, so deep, right on target. Im trying to say, with the impossible to understand subject of suicide, since everyone is different. Suicide more often than not, usually drunken accident or covered up murder anyway...In my experience people DRIVE each other to suicide and then pretend to grieve for a few days...how do they spell relief etc...then they get to talk to pictures-so much easier...and you can fit it into glove compartment experience...such a fantastic ending...even believable...THATS how I want to die...did I not just blog a few weeks ago about my body being hijacked by my pirate friends to be buried somewhere in Bear Mt or Harriman State Park? More than enough to share...How much does the state pay Yolanda Vega? That salary should probably be divided between 100,000 people. The most sophisticated bullying pretends Im not a litmus test for the realization of what a bunch of murderers I live amongst.

 

 think there is whopping $85 in my Wells Fargo acct  on its way to bill pay.....But for the majority of my adult life these are the kinds fo numbers I saw on a daily basis. If I didnt have family and friends (begrudgingly) helping me out. I would be performing in Cirquede Soleil  neck trapeze of Le Barn too. But not because of little money, because of the DELIBERATE SABOTAGE and blackballing etc....I would be happy campoing. Nothing I'd love more...Its when they take away your credibility and reputation and you grow a second head....Think of me as a ventriloquist fro the second head you all made grow out of my heart.

For only a very few short periods of my adult life (always less than a year), I actually cant think of more than twice in my life, did I ever make more than a $300 weekly paycheck. I did pull in $500 a week a couple of times-that's why the shit money in Tville was actually a fortune to me...So it's not the little bit of money that, and the financial struggle that makes me talk suicide now and then, its the goddam fact that the richest poeple, the fucking yoga teachers for godsakes, in the most affluent wealthy place on the planet SABOTAGE me into this lot...not once BUT CONTINUALLY. Coupled with the gossip that I lost my mind etc etc...Blogging is a relief because it makes me look back and realize how amazing my life could have been...and in fact was...makes it slightly less horrible to say fuck you to the coward lying pieces of shit who have turned MY sleepy hollow into some bullshit chinese jetson deam in the makings...

Pluggin Away

So even after all the hell Jane originally caused for me, I didnt give up, I tried to open my own place (without a dime so guess how that went after 6 mos)...but I was invited to start over again at Bikram Norwalk where I had to drive over 2 hours to get there, either to teach or to practice-cost me $25 everytime I drove to work in old volvo-but I did it for about 2.5 years..."Im killing a polar bear everytime I drive to work" I told Jane and Jack Kartsch once at Zeythinia when seeing her for the first and only time in all these 5 years...in the middle of that hellish commute I started looking for a place in between I could afford...craigslist introduced me to Jayne and Chevy Chase with a barter situation perfect for my budget and how fun I guess..not the most amazing "help" digs but seemed fun. Nice poeple. But after all of our interviews they went with the strapping strong young construction guy over the aging, large breasted weird, private at home yoga teacher girl-no surprise really...but it just occurred to me, Jayne mentions Gabbie Hoffman (?) which brings us to Jaqui Saboteur Yoga Lawyer from Pace (who like Jane K tried to cause interference for me-but she's a cut throat lawyer I'd end up driven to physical suicide by if I dare say her name too much etc......look how easy it is to communicate in this day and age...amazing....but look what a small world right?! 

Not eto self. Need to write about  the daughter of the wealthy Greenwhich Rabi who had me fired from Norwalk...fuck what was her kuntka name...Or was she from New Canaan? Anyway I will write about her...she LOVED to gossip with the other owner Andrew and when I came home for a month from Tville to work there to generate some money (all hot yoga studios in FL are slow if not dead 3-4 months of the summer-its so fckn hot) name starts with a J? ANdrew is the type to read this for fun out loud...but hes smart as he is dangerous...he once showed me how he takes all this amazing designer stuff from his lost and found every 2 weeks and throws it all in the trash...I watched him thrwo away perfectly good Ralph Lauren men's shoes-from all of the overstuffed uber wealth fairfield people... (Jodi! Her name was Jodi I think) rabinowitz? .... This kind of social trashing is what drives people to suicide...it's the basis of all bullying in a nutshell...so if Mary Richardson really did kill herself (find it hard to believe a mother would be so out of touch with her own children but who knows) assuming its true she killed herself...they say it was over financial problems...sounds superficial...but serious financial problems'll hve you end up whack blogging nut case, living in help quarters in late 40s....ya man who wouldnt want to kill themselves if they were me! Thanks Mrs Kennedy for making me realize what the chosen few really think of the rest of us....it is humiliating. But watch me not give a shit!

Art of Deception as Societal Norm

What is with signing into facebook to vote for some stupid TV show on CBS so that they make note of passwords? If Im already logged in why would I need to log in again? Some third party CBS monkeys can take note? I mean the deception is so standard at this point I guess but jeez...seemed so Chinese government a move for CBS to do it. Just because CBS isnt going to hack your bank doesn't mean someone else who suckered stupid computer illiterate people at major TV networks to be a part of their sophisticated grift..but honestly...Americans will get what twe've sown...I insisted that one the most severely brain damaged of my friends/aquiantances email me the reciepts from Walmart /Jamaican Lottery MoneyGramScam to see with my own eyes that they could be so stupid. He agreed to give them $15,000 and gave up to $4000 to names like (no shit) Jimmie Carter from Montego, Lois  M___something from Chicago..I wish I could post them here but that woudl be too cruel...but I bring it up because IM not so sure people that stupid dont deserve to loose their money...Imagine an FBI swamped in diaper changing of dimented stupidty...stupid people shouldnt be allowed to drive...

He was going on about committing suicide, because in his head he wants someone to feel sorry for him I think. I just can't believe even he is that stupid...there's a psychological fuckedupedness motivation behind it, honestly IM nauseated, ashamed to know him...his girlfriend had just called the police on this guy Jimmie Carter who had originally targeted this guy's 93 yr old father who  answers his phone and trusts poeple-I can understand protecting him obviously...but like I said the son's girlfriends went thru this whole police matter over it because the Jamacain wouldnt stop calling, was pushy etc...then 2 weeks later the son sends them checks!!! Adding up to $4000! Its beyond weird...I think the guy has warped sexual deal where it turns him on to make his gf yell at him-IM not kidding...and thats the kind of "s&m" psycho, lost perv that ends up loosing his house for a satisfying ejac? I guess it goes on all around and why money matters directly or indirectly affect all of us..Hard to feel sorry for...then he tried to rope me into playing detective, as if I would be able to get his money back..he knows better-but for him its a way of interacting because he's that alone in life etc....god poeple piss me off.

Monsanto China's Pledge to You (because they Love You So Much)

"Act as Owners to Achieve Results

We will create clarity of direction, roles, and accountability; build strong relationships with our customers and external partners; make wise decisions; steward our company resources; and take responsibility for achieving agreed-upon results." http://www.monsanto.com/whoweare/Pages/monsanto-pledge.aspx

阿彻丹尼尔总部设在中国

“China’s agricultural market is growing in both supply and demand and represents significant growth opportunities for ADM,” said ADM Chairman, CEO and President Patricia Woertz. “These actions position ADM well to expand its participation in that growing market.”

Fukashima'd farmland for the Americans... so instead of food they can worry about using billions of dollars to make movies like Battleship because drunk 18 yr olds give such amazing head. If there were suddenly a surprise presidential election today between Rhianna and Tomas Jefferson. She would probably win....and the fact that this reality wouldnt alarm anyway is the future-whats to come...robotland of late nite plastic comb molding jobs or firing squads for the whole family...

孟山都在中国的总部
阿彻丹尼尔总部设在中国

China's Dalian Wanda Group Co. to buy AMC Entertainment

Dalian Wanda Group's president says goal is to own 20 percent of the world's movie theaters AMC to sell for $2.6 billion. Wow they must really believe in the power of movies...the power of propaganda. Next they will bankrupt school text book companies, and scoop them up too, rewrite history as all governments love to do.

Wow

I never noticed that I signed the wrong date on the Deborah Moore police report.  I guess the way it just changes years and youre still writing the previous year soon after holiday etc...Never noticed before than Brian Wohl signed the correct year, but the previous day...I guess I'll never know if that was accidental or subconsciously wishing he could make it go away... I also never noticed that she wrote 420.  To be completely honest I did have one of those teeny little grateful dead wooden pipes in a necklaces things in my knapsack but there was never any mention of anything other than farebeating,  even by my then lawyer Paul Schneyer...I was raped 2 years before (jan 1990) by some wanna bee hells angels guy named Glen Yank in east village..what this woman cop did to me was worse by a million. Now that want to make it illegal for me to hate woman cops? Illegal to hate stupidity and say so...why the fucking charade everyone? Imagine trying to go find this? Good thing I kept it? Or will some macho dick waving rapist cop kill me for not smiling long and pretty enough after my heating? Oh by the way Bobby thanks SO much for your help. I was trying to tell him he, and his whole family might want to mediatate and do yoga because yes Santa Claus I was hearing voices...however...thats was the point. How to get better at recgnizing the signs the signals...if even there always are any...I never needed another human being more in my life than when I met someone beyond powerful enough to make it all right. I dare to write like this because I know Bobby knows what a nice (perhaps silly and a stoner) I was, how good I was...but he wasnt allowed to help me...because John fckn Cronin was worried about contracts and agents future TV spots so he wouldnt have to rely on kennedy to open doors for him etc...you coukd feel it...I mean its all normal human behavior you see anywhere...but look how fucking lucky I was!!!! WHy couldnt anyone help eme? Listen to me even!!! Because we live in a bulsshit society incapable of self deprecating enough, checking itself once in a while..admitting, confessing, really needing to make anything better ...

Cant believe I have this scanned. Dont remember doing it. Hey Deborah Moore Badge number deliberately scribbled there at the end? Is is Badge Number 3230? WIth the 420 on it it turns over reaction for a $1.25 token into something entirely different...imagine your life ruined not by drugs but by LIES. Is it legal Bikram? For me to call police office deborah moore a kunt? It had better be, as much as you would like to see that freedom along with my life flushed down the toilet. (Oh wow-no delusions here btw. I know it is already-its just a slow death in my case apparently.

Its so cool to psychologically analyze why Moore for example started with "Resisting" and then added "420" at the end...while middle is illegible...covering up a story gets paid a massive pension...why? To a woman who because of her own uncontrollable rage ruined my life, was never punished for it, and is now being PAID with tax money to help victims of domestic violence to cope according to her Cappella TV Diploma grad ad....

I wonder if she ever told her traniees about me. Here's a visual for them to see how you mediate Ms Moore (Afriacan American definiteluy, Irish not so sure)

How dangerous is it Jane to insist a cop cme clean? Does my bravery make me dangerous...lol all these NPR listening hippie yoga teachers are the ones who sealed my fate after going thru all this? Pull yerself up againa and agian...same bs advice...bootstraps girl! and for what?

I'll Have a Draft?

I just read this note of a draft of a letter I was trying to write to Bikram when I took over the Titusville studio. Notice I deliberately never use the word "owner" because it was never about business for money and ownership or even control. My things isn't that I lost anything...My thing i sthat it waas ILLEGALLY and IMMORALLY more, taken away from me, so in the name of yoga-that's what Ive been tossed into...drowning in the lies of a bunch of feral people Ive had the misfortune of being vulnerable to my whole adult life...My whole "psycho" thing is to forever be asking why I couldn't have just been left alone. Ask why people have actively sought out to deliberately sabotage any chance of making a living for much of my entire adult life IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING the Deborah Moore Incident from when a lawyer was retained and papers filed against the NYPD. The name of the investigator from the Civilian Complaint Board's name was Cronin...and a year later when I had briefly met a new friend named Bobby Kennedy it was a man named Cronin who came between Bobby and me. I pissed him off in a meeting where I'd asked something stupid in his opinion, and for all I know it may have been...But the IMMEDIATE cruelty with which he came after me...it just makes sense that they would do background checks etc..who knows. Steve Solow put him in his place and drove me home when he realized I didnt have a car-perfect gentleman. Just like Bobby who seemed to take it all with a grain of salt, and was still kind enough to talk to me a few times, take my call for a while, ungil I was 100% stranded in the Catskills....that was the beginning of the financial imprisonment. Who wouldn't want to hire me? I could spot a trooper pinching a telephone battery from Radio Shack ON RECORDED SURVEILLANCE VIDEO and I would still be the one to get in trouble. Is it a gift? Cops want to kill me for being a wise guy? Smart ass? Or just smart?

I feel like Ive been walking that thin blue line like Philipe Pettit ever since 1993 beating by now sargeant Deborh Moore. Brian Wohl was her partner, he's in NC now hopefully googling his name and reading this too....Imagine all these corrupt poeple trying to kill me, knowing how easily they can get away with it, and on top of that Yoga teachers rob me of even that-my last chance at everything, anything really...nothing in the first place lol? No Bikram SO very much-perhaps jusyt like you right? Elvis and Jesus!  I don't write about anyone to embarrass them-even Jane. Im simply stating the FACTS.  My hatred for Jane comes from Jane..I dont hate John Cronin for just being a jerk, Im not sure what he may or may not have robbed me of....Im only wondering how my life went so horribly wrong....I wasnt born hating anyone...Reading this note, a draft of a letter, I wrote to Bikram in 2010 on my phone. Trying to get away from the thin blue line-had to go all the way to FL just to teach yoga when I was better at teaching than 75% of all the teachers at the time...now theyre all good a little bit because of me, I hear my words repeated in dialogue variations I know fro a fact to be mine...but the point is Im only being a weird blogging asshole now because I have no gas in my car! Im 51! My mother supports me at this point, Im completely fucked...Mary Richardson got knocked up around exactly the same time I once kissed Bobby. I remember hearing about the surprise wedding and doing the math...It was like people around him decided it could get messy if he wasnt safely married off, a lot could be at stake. I feel silly that I kissed him I guess. But it was hard not to. Major testosterone like a cloud. It was so exciting to be around him, amd it was like magic that he let me in for a little while espciallt because I was so incredibly destitute at the time-my mom had barely recovered from loosing the house working a few jobs living in Mt K with a doosh who hated me...I got booted out of my free upper west side artist space because I was a doosh to the landlord...nothing whatsoever happened between Bobby and me Im just saying it was so nothing and yet so amazing at the same time.... I was totally the one who planted kiss on him...but I remember laughing when I heard that some woman (mary) got pregnant right around 9 mos later she gave birth! I thought someone who was in a hurry to get knocked up just after his divorce? Hm. Cronin saw me as the scandal? Thought they were playing it safe...Dear John Cronin-I fantasize about wrapping my legs around the waist of truth and surrendering to it while it fucks my brains out...brb. I just made myself hot.

Nothing More Retarded

Is there anything more retarded than nuclear power in a hot desert country? It makes absolutely no sense. Imagine all that money going into development of solar power...it must be an excuse to build bombs for  retaliation...to pretend to not be able to understand that is why the stupidity only grows larger...dark skinned people are often times motivated by retaliation to lighter skinned corrution and hypocrisy perhaps?

When I was growing up in 70s and 80s and all thru the 90s it was popular to overly romanticize primitive cultures, as if always so innocent and never backwards or dangerous...it was a way to win people over, the oprah generation of uber self importance, as if we could all find our ture purpose together-yay-like everyone on their best behavior for the cameras is the reality and so white culture was always made out to be repressed and prudish and prejudiced.....and it was fun for a while watching a little repression dissipate I guess with disco and early rap was so much fun at first...but now Im so sick of the pornographic black american culture that chronically celebrates copulation...generally speaking ya but when isnt it about fucking? Ya but seems always about fucking with both men and women ...so pathetic...Off teh track sidethought alert: Ill never forget learning about the midwives who opened all these birthing centers to purposely create sanctuary for mexican, central and south american women to give birth on american soil...just turned into ugly business...illegal adoptions, baby stealing...god only knows....I was always made to feel thru my 30s even that white people are responsible for all thats bad usiually...shit I gotta drop my little borderline racist stint here I guess....Im just bitter no one ever wanted to have kids with me and Im surrounded by animals who throw their condoms out their windows....I guess they're using them but somehow scumiest 17 year old genes on the planet signing up for state prenatal care and the rest....its like a cult...a movement to take down the us gov via the heathcare and welfare system as it is...

Over population growth needs to become the issue of the day. Snap? Slap.

When US Farmers and Environmentalists First Mated

This may sound ridiculous, ...but as Im dying I want to grab at this in case it does ad up...Willy Nelson and Neil Young (favorites of mine both) ...everyone knew better than to try to mix the farmers with hippies..Neil was a far as they might get away with..Willy too for that matter...It was my idea to create the database to connect farm stands, markets, and restaurants to boost commerce to the CSAs throughout NY...I met every goddam one of them just about (enough anyway) based on the FARMY tshirts. I drove to hundreds of farms and shook hands...formed a sort of pitchfork militia...and bunch of ol republicnas most of them...but hurting, and I guess open as a result (Except for one gentically modified corn farm I almost got kiled on by a pregnant woman with a rifle...crazy shit my life has been thru...but the point...what was the point? Oh ya How it ois that Ive been a part of great happenings in my day and yet Im penniless, cant even afford the gas to go to dog park today....I set up a datebase for my hs class and take the liberty of linking their names in text with their pictures (as many as I could set up anyone-lots of work I ended up having robbed out from under me...again this was 1993, a year before even original HFB I think...Not saying FB was my idea, but I was combining softwares in 93 to include individual accts to write on message boards, and an overall feeling of communication 24/7... First classmate I pissed off had the nerve to take 100s of my scanned photos and set up same name using .net a year later....How do people live with themselves...I get no recognition-fine, but why the bullying? Why with the sabotage? Why when I might have something good happen for me it gets shot down? killed by who exactly? Why exactly? Why am I so detested? (Before I started walking the online when it doesnt matter anymore that is...)

Basically my FARMY tshirt idea was conceived in Dec. 89 or actually probably Jan 90, when I had to figure out a way to wear this fantastic, lovely hanging soft cotton Champion ARMY tshirt my brother had given me for Christmas that year. I originally used a sharpie, wore it for years, touching it up after so many washes...was ashamed to wear it because of the Gulf war otherwise. The poetry stuck, I embraced the word, although it wasn't until I met Bobby Kennedy that it occurred to me farmers and environmental activists could be friends...I wanted to impress him...so from Saugerties NY I sent a certified letter (have copies of it all to this day) with the original design of the shirt. People think its as easy as picking a font....I put hours and in fact years into perfecting exactly how far away the F needed t be from the A in order for it to work. Cut to the point here, I dont even know if he ever saw it, but that's the thing with Kennedies and ideas, there are so many spies and interlopers that godd ideas grow legs...I can't remember if it was before Steve Solo began working for the Dept of Ag or actually IM pretty sure it was after....but anyway...I didnt mind playing crazy girl from far away...liek I said I was still young and I had no idea I would never get my justice...I felt reassured just knowing that I had am acquaintance in Bobby for a short time. A coupe of phone calls and he was always polite and made me feel like he liked me somewhat...I wasn't embarrassed to share with him that I was flat broke and I'd babysat for a few high profile families at that time...I wanted to be closer to him so he would think I was worthy enough to fight for, because of the beating case...and I liked him so much I didnt want to risk scaring him away by just coming right out with it..but the point is surfing on Kennedy soundwaves is fun, but of course dangerous, shark infested...The first newstories about politicans being caught with their nannies started right after that...barely a month after I'd told Lilyan S about the ruffie rape (also Jan 90) some poor Kennedy got dragged thru some kind of rape trial... but the coincidences have less to do with me than the machine known as Kennedy life support  system I think...I guess...I would once in a while try to explain to a close friend how surreal it was to experience so many coincidences because it was wonderful really...but wow-just as I sound now...crazy still?  So unfair....I kept journals there were so many..alwasy trying to be scientific about it..it did however change me for sure...probably did go a little lala....But it was the balance of abuse and hatred that made me realize most people were just jealous :) The chronic judgments of stupid people for too long would drive anyone to suicide...to bully anyone when the'yre alone... Better to get it straight when wrong person gets bullied than to take bigger things off course. ... It must be hell to be royalty, what a joke anyone thinks that they could keep up with all that goes on...damn Ive meandered away from my original point.

I wrote a ridiculous letter to the ELC along with the design, explaining why I thought the simple word had the ability to bring people at odds less at odds I doubt Bobby even ever saw it but sure someone did...I dont remember exactly...but the point ..and the only acknowdgement I ever got after all the years was from Dan Barber at Blue Hill who screamed at me from across the plaza "YOU! WITH THE TSHIRTS! GET OVER HERE! I WANT TO BUY EVERYONE OF THEM THAT YOU HAVE WITH YOU!" etc....He sat me in his office and made me feel like Picasso...I ate for free for almost a year....it was then in 2006 that I realized I had had some impact...when on the Rockefeller farm they were filling my gas tank to make sure I didnt run out before I made it to the station...I was looked out for...then it all changed without warning, suddenly it was all pulled from the cafe...and they knew how poor I was...I of course behaved badly when they told me just before xmas they would be pulling the hemp hats(!) Why was this happening? Too friendly, sabotaged? Too much. Im certain someone who didnt like me said something to want to make them sever ties...but they were such an awesome group of star poeple they let me down super gently, even compensated me for the ordered hats...very righteous. But why? Am I really that horrible? Imagine being told you can sell your design at the rock and then boom its taken away...some excuse about conflicting labels made sense...but one shot? NO GAS IN THE FUCKING CAR REMEMBER? My entire gd life spent like this, tarzanning from one amazing place to another only to be penniless and supported by family mostly? Like a crazy retard?

When my family lost our home I never really felt homeless. When I lived in the Harrison squat with a bucket as a bathroom I only felt a little bit homeless...I loved camping, and I was still young.  Even at the age of 30, early 30s I was naive to still believe I was still making friends with anyone I met, but I did....My princess was full on intact, oblivious to the fact that no one even liked me very much well up to the age of, I guess it started to slowly sink in at 40...but honestly just getting it now...a decade later. brb I dont knwo what my point was anymore...oh ya thats right to gratuitously name drop in order to send out smoke signals...