Next Time Blog Your Suicide Notes. Oh Wait. No More Next Times I Guess.

I only caught the last 30 minutes or so of House last night...but it was so amazingly right on, so deep, right on target. Im trying to say, with the impossible to understand subject of suicide, since everyone is different. Suicide more often than not, usually drunken accident or covered up murder anyway...In my experience people DRIVE each other to suicide and then pretend to grieve for a few days...how do they spell relief etc...then they get to talk to pictures-so much easier...and you can fit it into glove compartment experience...such a fantastic ending...even believable...THATS how I want to die...did I not just blog a few weeks ago about my body being hijacked by my pirate friends to be buried somewhere in Bear Mt or Harriman State Park? More than enough to share...How much does the state pay Yolanda Vega? That salary should probably be divided between 100,000 people. The most sophisticated bullying pretends Im not a litmus test for the realization of what a bunch of murderers I live amongst.

 

 think there is whopping $85 in my Wells Fargo acct  on its way to bill pay.....But for the majority of my adult life these are the kinds fo numbers I saw on a daily basis. If I didnt have family and friends (begrudgingly) helping me out. I would be performing in Cirquede Soleil  neck trapeze of Le Barn too. But not because of little money, because of the DELIBERATE SABOTAGE and blackballing etc....I would be happy campoing. Nothing I'd love more...Its when they take away your credibility and reputation and you grow a second head....Think of me as a ventriloquist fro the second head you all made grow out of my heart.

For only a very few short periods of my adult life (always less than a year), I actually cant think of more than twice in my life, did I ever make more than a $300 weekly paycheck. I did pull in $500 a week a couple of times-that's why the shit money in Tville was actually a fortune to me...So it's not the little bit of money that, and the financial struggle that makes me talk suicide now and then, its the goddam fact that the richest poeple, the fucking yoga teachers for godsakes, in the most affluent wealthy place on the planet SABOTAGE me into this lot...not once BUT CONTINUALLY. Coupled with the gossip that I lost my mind etc etc...Blogging is a relief because it makes me look back and realize how amazing my life could have been...and in fact was...makes it slightly less horrible to say fuck you to the coward lying pieces of shit who have turned MY sleepy hollow into some bullshit chinese jetson deam in the makings...