Im seeing for the first time Mel Gibson's Jesus movie on the christian channel (TBN?) Tuning into the middle I guess, drawn in by some very interesting points and pauses...but now about 15 minutes or so later I feel like Im watching someone's s&m pornoraphy, watching a man (the actor playing Jesus) being tortured into a scientifically, physically, impossible place...it never ends...and then I can feel millions of "sheep" hypnotized by the amount of focus afforded this strange piece of art...I vaguely remember the media hype at the time it came out...a lot of talk about "realism"....whatever...it is what it is however....
It is still fckn pathetic. The most cave man interpretation of The Story of Jesus Christ. Why? How could it be we are so completely unevolved to even issue, or ALLOW one another the poetic license of discussing all possibilities of stories written in text and language only a handful have been allowed to interpret for us....it the most vile, bas, low life of human nature way....part accidental, room for forgiveness of course....would have to be...but the deliberate way the "christian church" has allowed it self to stand behind such...omg...the visions in my head of peter (o'toole?) in the old 60s film, damn what was it called....when he finally joins parliament at the end. and the film backs off of him in a roomful of skeletons and cob webs....no time to google....googled: The Ruling Class.
Anyway I pray to god that the true story is that Jesus was such a genius that he formed a gang of tip lipped devotees who were able to "tell stories" thru the grape vine so as to trick idiots into realizing what they were capable of....basically the same thing as Yale's Milgram (sp?) Experiment. This is what people still do to each other to this day, not because it's basic accepted human nature, but because killers will always rule perhaps....but what joy it is to if nothing else, at least get to say "fuck you, you stupid pointless, perverse, jerk off, killer, how dare you try to hurt me at all, let alone have a need to see me dead..." I am AMAZED at how hated I am....I will not enjoying shaming everyone when the WHOLE STORY is told....but I've never felt so close to Jesus in my life....I almost laughed at the actor's face when he was offered a chance to run away. The actor playing Jesus looked at the figure of authority with eye's that seemed to say "You're kidding right? Where the hell am I going to go? Just please get it over with..."
If I try to explore, find understanding in why Im surrounded by killers. When I am so obviously NOT a killer and yet with each attack, assault, sabotage to my life, Im reduced, slowly turned into a projection screen of my torturers. The only justice I will ever have is my freedom, my right to express how much I hate Jane Kartsch and Deborah Moore, and Donna T....Ho wthey put me in touch with an ability to be a killer at this point. The rage I am BRAVE enough to express makes me seem "stupid" to the fake cowards who profess to be leading the way....oh the lies....
I saw a wolf or coydog last night. One of the most beautiful moments of my life in fact...in feeling.... powerful enough to forget about almost being raped by some hispanic dude with a creepy mustache while walking my dog earlier the same day into the woods off of longpath. The wolf had to have been put there(?) Not only did I get to see it. I got to show it to someone an hour later, stalking a deer.....when I die. My pirate friends will steal my body from my torturers and enemy funeral homes, and bury it in a secret place somewhere, anywhere, in Bear Mountain State Park. That's th eonly way I'll ever be free of Jane's pain. Thank you.
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